Best Christmas Ever
by henriettaline
Summary: Christmas: Finn stays over with Rachel while her dads are away, but after a fantastic night they have to deal with matters that threaten to separate them.  Finchel with others, current continuity post 3-9. Contains fluff, drama, singing, and smut.
1. Merry, Happy

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters (more's the pity!).**

**Starts slow but I have plans. Please review!  
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><p><em>This Christmas is perfect<em>, Finn thought as he drove off in his truck to pick up Rachel. He'd called her first thing that morning, eagerly talking about the contents of his stocking (with more than a little innuendo about the contents of her stockings and other socklike things) and happy to share himself with her on his favorite morning. The last two Christmases, first wanting her but not being able to get her, and then wanting her but hating himself for it since she'd hurt him, had been horrible for him, but Christmas was once more the best. His mom had made her special Christmas breakfast that he loved, and that was followed by exchanging presents with the family. Lunch was with his mom and Burt, with Kurt over at Blaine's for the afternoon, and now Rachel was coming over until evening.

Finn pulled up to the Berry house, and got out of his truck to see Rachel already coming out the door, smiling. He raced up the path to meet her.

"Merry Christmas, Finn," Rachel said, her face angling up to his.

"Happy Hanukkah, Rachel," he replied, and kissed her, a kiss that started sweet but deepened. Finn lost himself in it for a few moments, relieved that he'd been sucking candy canes most of the morning. He always loved her kisses, the taste of her mouth, the feel of her lips and tongue against his, the knee-weakening way that she pulled at his lower lip, and most of all he loved that she was clearly into it too. They shared a smile, eyes connecting, then Rachel turned back to lock the door, carefully locking both top and bottom locks.

Finn picked up one of her bags of parcels, then took her hand as she picked up the other, leading her down the path. He settled her bags in the back, then helped her into the passenger side, resisting the urge to kiss her again. _Wait until you're home_, Finn told himself. His room would be much more comfortable and permissive than the truck. He settled back behind the driver's seat, quickly squeezed her hand, and set off.

"So how was your morning?" Rachel asked.

"It was great," Finn said, flashing her a quick grin before returning his eyes to the road. "Yeah, really great. Breakfast, presents, thinking about seeing you... really great. How about you, how is your day so far?" he asked.

"It's good," Rachel replied. "Quiet, with my dads away. No problems yet." She smiled. "Looking forward to this afternoon."

"Me too." Finn paused. "But what do you mean, 'no problems yet'?" he inquired, a bit concerned.

"Oh... just that in some years there's been a little noise, someone in our yard, banging on doors and windows, that sort of thing," she said. "Maybe because we don't decorate, I don't know."

"Like harassment?" Finn said, alarmed. He eased off the gas as he turned back down his street. Christmas was his favorite day and he hated to think of her having trouble on it instead. Or of anyone scaring her.

"A bit," Rachel said. "Nothing big or dangerous really, it's just unsettling." She paused. "Do you think," she went on, "that maybe... you could come and stay over tonight?" Her voice sounded a bit tentative, and she looked at him hopefully.

Finn swallowed as her question registered, then blinked and brought his concentration back onto the road so as not to sideswipe the parked cars of his neighbors' visitors. "Uh, sure," he said. _Comfort my girl all night, protecting her from some would-be Christmas ghosts? Oh yeah, I am so there_, he thought. He looked sideways at Rachel, saw the smile playing at her lips, and his mouth quirked in a half-grin. "I should check with my mom I guess, but yeah, I'm all yours." _In more ways than one_, he thought, as they shared an anticipatory smile.

Oh yeah, this was definitely the **best Christmas ever**.


	2. Sharp Dressed Man

Finn showed Rachel inside, then helped her with her coat. She was wearing the green dress that she'd worn to sing 'River', with her hair up, so beautiful. He lowered his head and covertly grazed his lips over the back of her neck, enjoying her scent, the feel of her soft skin, and the delicious shiver in her shoulders that his touch produced. As they parted he noted the hook closure just below - while he was getting better at zippers, especially with the dresses Rachel had taken to wearing lately, he still had trouble with hooks. Finn smiled to himself and did his best to get his mind off of "later". Later would have to wait, though it was easier to control himself now that he knew later was coming.

He shed his own coat and hung it up, then turned back to Rachel, who was looking at him with what he could only consider to be shocked appreciation.

"You look amazing, Finn," she murmured, holding out her hand to him. "That's – wow. You look...very sharp."

"Oh, this," Finn replied a bit sheepishly, gesturing at the black dress shirt he wore, inwardly elated at her obvious reaction to it (and him in it). "Kurt gave it to me this morning. I guess he didn't show it to you first."

"Oh, Kurt wouldn't consult anyone about fashion," Rachel replied. "He wouldn't want to diminish the drama of the first view either."

"Guess not," Finn said quietly, moving closer to Rachel. She touched his sleeve, lightly fingering the black-on-black satin stripe, involuntarily licking her lips as she looked up at his open collar. _Guess I need to thank Kurt even more for this_, Finn thought.

"He'll be annoyed he missed my first seeing it, though," Rachel said, smiling. "I'll have to tell him."

"Sure," Finn responded with a grin. "Though I think he's trying to make me over secretly – some of my old shirts have gone missing."

"Well -" Rachel looked a little guilty and started to say something, but they were interrupted by Finn's mother Carole coming out from the kitchen, having quickly shed her apron.

"Rachel, honey! so glad you could make it." Carole hugged her. "There's lots of vegetables and other vegan food - Finn's even been helping me out. Hopefully you can ignore the gorging carnivores."

"That's sweet, thank you so much for having me here," Rachel replied. "And it's all fine, really."

"No problem at all, honey," said Carole. "To tell the truth," she continued cheerfully, "I was happy to hear that you could come, with your dads out of town. What with Finn and Kurt, it feels like the place isn't the same without you. And who knows, maybe the vegetables will catch on."

Rachel hugged Carole again, then shyly presented her with a box of dark chocolates and a wrapped flat box that looked suspiciously like a book.

"Thank you so much, Rachel. I'll open that later. Finn," she continued, calling out to her son, "Burt's watching the basketball, but I'm sure you two would appreciate a little time before Kurt gets back."

"Let me know if you need any help in the kitchen," Rachel said.

"Of course, honey. Everything's under control for now though."

As Carole returned to the kitchen, Finn and Rachel exchanged a look and went upstairs, Rachel carrying one of her bags.

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><p><strong>So what does Rachel know about Finn's missing shirts? Coming next!<strong>


	3. Shirt Tales

_A/N: Great to see all the people following this story! Hope you like the latest installment. I own nothing but my words._

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><p>Rachel entered Finn's room, noting with approval that he'd made the bed and stacked his presents on his desk. His strong arms snaked around her waist, and she dropped the bag she was carrying as he pulled her into him. Her hands stroked up his arms, feeling the crisp texture of his shirt, then she wrapped one hand around the back of his neck. Between the shirt, the skin at his neck, and the hair at his nape she was drinking him in through her fingertips. She lightly kissed the exposed hollow of his throat, and was rewarded by a low growl and the tightening of his arms around her.<p>

"Your parents are downstairs," Rachel whimpered. _And if I damage that shirt Kurt will kill me_, she thought. _And I'll never see Finn wearing it again._ She inhaled deeply, breathing in his scent, his unmistakeable Finn-ness. It was mingled with a trace of musk from the shirt, and the combination was staggering. She could already feel herself getting slick, craving more and more of his touch. Her hips shifted, starting to grind into him, and the feel of his engorged penis made her hotter still. She wanted him so badly, every inch of him. "We can't, not now."

"I know," Finn muttered. He continued to kiss her.

"I can't think straight when you do that," Rachel half-protested as he started to kiss her neck.

"So don't think straight," he stated.

Rachel sank into the chair by his desk, looking up at him with intense desire. Her heart raced and she tried hard to breathe normally.

"You really like the shirt, huh?" Finn asked, smiling down at her.

"You do look rather wonderful in it," Rachel said candidly. _And feel, and smell, and..._ "But I like you in anything, really." She rose and handed Finn one of the large soft parcels from her bag.

"Hold on, we did that charity thing instead," Finn protested, confused. "Took our presents back."

"Yes, but I have Barbra, and my star... and this isn't really a present anyway, just some things I want to give you. Things you need."

He tilted her chin up to meet his kiss. "I have all I need." Kiss. "What I want." He rubbed his lips over the pulse point at her jaw, and she felt that lovely warm buzz grow inside her again.

"Mmmm..." Rachel arched her head back, glorying in the feel of his attentions, her hands starting to rub his back. After a few moments of such distractions, though, she lowered her arms and stepped back sharply. "No, no, you need to open it," she protested.

Finn mock-pouted, but then sat down on his bed and unwrapped the package. Two shirts fell out, a plain white tee and a plaid flannel. He looked at them in puzzlement. "So, you got me new ones? I mean, they're like the ones that went missing, and that's great, but..." he trailed off.

"But what?" Rachel asked quietly. She stood in front of him and put her hand in his to prompt him.

"I don't know. I mean, they're just shirts, and I like that you're not trying to change what I wear or whatever. I was kinda trying to find the old ones though. They're special." Finn paused. "I mean, the white one - it's the one I was wearing that night, you know..." he swallowed, then met her eyes. "Our first night."

"That's why I took it," Rachel said quietly, all in a rush. "I suppose I thought if it was just the shirt, then I'd give you a new one," she tried to explain. She was touched that he'd felt the same way about the significance of the shirt, but a little worried that she'd hurt him by offering a new one in exchange since she hadn't realized how hard he'd tried to find it. "You can have it back if you want it."

"Hold on... _you_ took my shirt?"

"Yes."

"The other one too?"

"Yes," Rachel said decidedly. "Under rather different circumstances but with basically the same rationale."

"Which is...?" Finn prompted as he rose, the corner of his mouth starting to turn up. Rachel caught his look and was relieved. She squeezed his hand.

"They're yours," she stated earnestly. "I know we have very different styles, and I just wanted something that was you. And they smell like you," she went on, blushing. She stroked his forearm. "The white one especially, it's probably mostly in my imagination but it still seems to have your scent on it from that night."

"Oh yeah, you like that?" Finn asked quietly, leaning into her, his face almost touching hers.

"Yes. Oh, yes." She closed the final space and kissed him hard. His arms went around her as he reciprocated. They kissed for a while, then paused for breath.

"So why didn't you tell me?" Finn asked. "That you wanted it, I mean."

"I'm not sure really... maybe a bit worried that you might find it creepy, or something like that."

Finn chuckled. "No." He kissed her again, and Rachel let herself flow into that passionate connection. "Definitely not creepy."

"There's more," she eventually murmured.

"More?"

"Yes." Rachel brought up the other package and handed it to Finn. "And this one really is the real thing."

Finn happily took the package and opened it, then stared stunned at something he really did think was gone for good: his letterman jacket that he'd sold to raise money for Rachel's present. They'd returned the earrings and given the money to the needy, but the jacket was long gone to a new owner, or so he'd thought. He noted the small cut on the left shoulder - no doubt about it, this was his.

"Rachel – how did you get this back?" He turned the jacket over in his hands, then looked at her in awe.

"The woman who bought it, she's an old McKinley alumna who bought it to remember 'the one that got away', as she told me. Once I explained what had happened, she readily agreed to let me have it." _At what I believe was a significant discount_, Rachel thought, _such a kind heart._ Rachel put her hand over Finn's as he still held the jacket. "She told me not to let my one get away."

"What about the price?" Finn asked. "I meant what I did when I sold it, you're more important to me."

"I know, I know," Rachel said. "And that means so much to me, that you'd sacrifice to get me something. But I have all I want. Last year-" she took a deep breath. Last year had been so horrible; they'd moved past it and their relationship was so much stronger for all they'd endured, but it was still painful to relive those days, however slightly. She cupped his face with one hand, looking deep into his eyes. "Last year I would have given **anything** to have been with you, to have had one Finn Hudson." She teared up a little. "This year I have two, you and the star..." She smiled, her tears giving way to flirting. "Three if we count little Finn."

"_Little_ Finn?"

"Ok, not-so-little Finn." Rachel giggled. Finn pressed closer to her, and she could feel his returning erection. "Definitely not little," she breathed.

"So what about my flannel shirt?" Finn asked, teasing. "Am I getting that back too?"

"You said I could keep the white one," Rachel responded. "What's important about the flannel shirt?"

"It's comfortable, it's my favorite shirt!" Finn protested. "What's important about it for you?"

Rachel smiled sweetly up at him. "It's my boyfriend's favorite shirt, silly," she said, stretching up to give him a light kiss on the lips. She went to sit on the bed, patting it to invite him to sit next to her. "What other shirt would I want?" Finn cocked an eyebrow at her, but went to sit with her, even closer than where she'd indicated. "And I think I look very cute in it," Rachel murmured, nestling into him. "You'll have to tell me what you think, later."

Finn felt himself go completely hard at the immediate mental image of Rachel wearing his old flannel shirt, half-open, and nothing else. If she kept on teasing him like this, he wasn't sure he was going to make it to "later" without ruining his dress pants. He swallowed and brought the old image of crashing into the mailman into his mind, trying to calm his erection. Either that or he needed to close the door, jam it shut and convince her to skip dinner. He exhaled slowly.

"Well in that case I think I can wear the new one for a while, Rach," he said, re-establishing a tenuous grip on his self-control. "Since it means so much to you." They exchanged a smile. "Thank you, for all of this. You're the best." He stretched out on his bed, resting his head on his jacket.

Rachel smiled winningly down at him. "Why thank you, Finn. You know I love to be the best." She laughed lightly at herself, then swivelled around to lie on her side next to him, propped up on her elbow. "And you deserve the best," she went on more soberly. She started tracing the features of his face with her free hand, stroking his cheeks and jaw, and finally slowly caressing his lips. Finn nipped at her fingertips, his eyes fixed on hers. "I love you," she whispered, then leaned over and kissed him slowly and deeply.

Finn enveloped her in one arm, using his other hand to stroke her breast as they continued to kiss, their mouths entwined in a tangle of lips, tongues, and teeth, all else forgotten but each other.

The light knock and the presence of someone in the hall failed to attract their attention away. "I'd say 'get a room', but it appears you already have," came Kurt's voice from the half-open doorway.

"Kurt!" Rachel sat up, but still left her hand touching Finn's side. "Merry Christmas."

"Happy Hanukkah, Rachel," Kurt responded. "In your case apparently a very happy one." He smirked as Rachel blushed. "Dinner's in ten minutes, if you can peel yourself off each other. If nothing else you need to eat to keep your strength up."

Finn grimaced at his stepbrother's mockery and sat up. "So how's Blaine doing?" he asked a little pointedly.

"Great," Kurt replied automatically, and then smiled, blushing a little. "He's wonderful." He pursed his lips. "All right, I take your point. But _we_ close the _door_." He hurrumphed as the pair disengaged and stood. "You're a bit mussed, Rachel," he commented. "Come on, I'll help you straighten out so your activities won't be quite so un-ignorably obvious."

Finn touched Rachel's hair, which indeed had started to come loose. "I like you a bit mussed like this," Finn said, giving her his electrifying half-smile. Rachel's heart sang, and their eyes connected again.

Kurt looked at the clock. "Seven minutes."

"All right, sorry Kurt," Rachel exclaimed. She gave Finn a last quick kiss. "Later," she promised.

"Yeah," Finn responded. "Love you."

"Love you too."

Kurt led Rachel down the hall to the bathroom. "Why is it that you two can't be left alone for a minute without going at it?" he objected.

"Not every time," Rachel protested. "And this was a lot more than a minute." Kurt glared at her. "Anyway, this time it's your fault," she challenged Kurt, rather defensively. She kept her voice low, aware of Burt and Carole waiting downstairs.

"I made you practically jump my brother? Really," Kurt responded in an intense half-whisper.

"You're the one who gave him _that shirt_," Rachel replied, matching his tone. "Not that I want to discourage you from such gifts, far from it, but next time you should probably invest in some earplugs as well."

"Ah." Kurt smiled. "So you appreciate my selection," he continued smugly.

"You have no idea just how much."

"I wouldn't have if you'd closed the door."

Rachel closed her eyes briefly, trying to get her emotions back under some semblance of control. "You scented Finn's shirt, Kurt," she said. "If we'd closed the door..." she paused. "Let's just say that you're lucky we're going to dinner at all."


	4. Preparation

**Disclaimer: as usual I own nothing but my specific words.** **Enjoy!**

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><p>Finn straightened out his own clothes and went down to join his mother and stepfather at the dinner table. A few minutes later Kurt and Rachel came down; Rachel's light makeup had been touched up and her hair was now down but pinned back. Finn enjoyed both the long hang of her hair and the view of her neck, and he gave her a lingering appreciative smile and nodded approvingly to his stepbrother.<p>

Kurt rolled his eyes, but quietly took his seat next to his father. Burt said a short prayer of thanks for the food, their happiness, and family and friends, followed by Carole passing around the dishes.

Dinner was a general success. Rachel loved Carole's bean casserole, and the vegan stuffing was in demand. Finn even took generous second helpings of the vegetables as well as the meat, much to his mother's quiet amusement.

"These are really great, Mom," Finn said as he took more broccoli. "Really special this time."

"Same recipe as always, honey," Carole responded. "Sometimes.. things just work out better with experience," she said, looking from her son to his girlfriend and back again.

"Everything's better with good company," Burt put in. "Though I always love your cooking, honey," he commented to his wife with a smile. "So, Rachel," he went on, "It must be really quiet at your place with your fathers gone."

"Yes it is," Rachel answered. "Though I'm getting used to it. Their business has become so much more busy recently, and it is such an advantage for them to be able to travel at this time of year. It's just more noticeable because there's no school so I have more time to myself."

"When do they get back?" Carole asked.

"Tomorrow night," Rachel said. "Then we're going to visit my uncle in Chicago for the last night of Hanukkah. We usually do, just for a few nights."

"Weren't you there for longer last year, Rachel?" Kurt asked.

"No, just a few days after Christmas," she replied. "That's what we always do." She pressed her lips together and looked intently at Kurt for a split second. "I also went away with my dads over Christmas, though," she said tersely. "That's probably what you remember."

"Right. So." Kurt blinked. "Are you going to be back for Brittany's New Year's Eve party?" he asked, diverting the conversation.

"Oh yes," Rachel said, relaxing. "Especially with glee club back together, that's going to be so much fun."

"Sam and Rory should be back too – we're going to put a band together for the night," Finn put in. "Play some different stuff, things that don't always work for glee club." They continued to talk about music, the subject successfully changed.

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><p>After dinner, Kurt and Rachel went to Kurt's room to talk and exchange presents. Finn went to the kitchen to help his mother clean up.<p>

"So... Rachel says their place is a bit of a target at Christmas since it's not lit up," Finn said. "People rattling the doors, throwing snowballs at the house, stuff like that."

"That's terrible," Carole replied. "No wonder she didn't want to talk about it at dinner."

_Was that it? Didn't seem like it_, Finn thought. "She's asked if I can come over tonight, to keep an eye out, really just to keep her company," he went on.

"Just to keep her company," his mom repeated, looking sceptical. "Really."

_Oh, shit_, Finn thought, freezing. _She's onto us._

"Oh Finn, I'm your mother," Carole said, shaking her head at her son's shocked and guilty expression. "Of course I know. All the little looks and touches, the way the two of you react to each other – I'd have to be blind not to know that your relationship has become physical. And that you're both really happy about it," she went on, as Finn gradually relaxed.

"So... you're ok?" Finn managed to blurt out.

"Well you seem to be, and Lord knows Rachel's very good for you. She challenges you without trying to change who you are, and it's beyond obvious that she loves you and you her. And you're becoming adults, so it's natural that your relationship has evolved into something more adult. Just be careful, okay? Use protection. And make sure you respect her and her family."

"Absolutely," Finn replied. "Completely." He breathed deeply in relief. "I didn't pressure her or anything."

"I know, honey. I know you." She looked intently at her son. "And while this isn't remotely the appropriate circumstances to express it, you should know how proud I am of the man you've grown into."

_Um, what?_ Finn thought – _did Mom just say she's proud of me for how Rachel and I are having sex?_ He swallowed and decided to drop the subject before things got any stranger. He hugged his mother. "Thanks, Mom, I get it."

"Just be careful," Carole repeated. "You know what it was like when you thought Quinn was having your child. You and Rachel have all your lives ahead of you, ok?"

_So don't fuck it up_, Finn thought. "Yeah." _Even if I don't know what kind of future I have._

"And don't forget you're helping Burt out at the shop at noon. Or go after any neighborhood idiots that show up at Rachel's."

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><p>Finn was in the bathroom packing up his toothbrush and shaver when Kurt came along. "So, Rachel says you're going over to her place tonight," Kurt said.<p>

"Yeah, my mom says it's ok. Their place sometimes get hassled over Christmas, and Rachel doesn't want to be alone."

"Oh, that." Kurt snorted. "I don't know if it's still happening, though. She was away last year. And I don't think it's really bothered her that much. When you've been slushied as much as Rachel has, a few snowballs aren't that intimidating." He raised an eyebrow. "Plausible excuse, though. Points for creativity."

"Yeah, ok," Finn conceded. "Well even if it does happen, I can distract her so she doesn't notice." He grinned.

"I - really didn't need to hear that," Kurt responded, shaking his head. He looked quickly down the hall, which was still otherwise empty. "Look, Finn, your mom's not an idiot, she'll figure out what you're up to," he commented quietly. "Plausible excuse or not."

"She, um, already has," Finn admitted, looking at his feet.

"Are you serious? And she's letting you go?"

"Yep." Finn swallowed, looking back at Kurt. "I know it's kinda weird. But I'm eighteen, so I guess I get to grow up now, or something. Plus I think she's really glad it's Rachel."

"Trust me, we're all really glad it's Rachel," Kurt commented. "Still, I'm surprised that you're not dead from embarrassment yet."

"So am I," Finn admitted. "I'm just not going to let it stop us, I guess."

"Faint heart never won fair lady."

"Yeah." Finn exhaled. _Or something like that._

"I take it her dads don't know, though."

"Doubt it." Finn cringed at the thought. His mom definitely liked Rachel, especially as she'd never really forgiven Quinn for 'trying to screw up my son's life as if she owned it' with the whole pregnancy mess. But he knew Rachel's dad was worried that Finn was going to distract Rachel from her Broadway destiny, and while her daddy was more sympathetic, Finn had had a hard time winning him over a second time when they'd reunited after Nationals. Sneaking around in their house wasn't going to endear him to them any further. On the other hand, if they were worried about Rachel, shouldn't they be around more? Especially with this problem of their house being targeted at Christmas, if that happened. He'd noticed Rachel's look to silence Kurt at dinner and realized that she'd gone away last year because she hadn't wanted to be alone in the wake of their breakup. So they must know, expect even, that she was going to be spending a lot of time with him this year. _Right?_

And it's not like _he_ could tell them. _Right?_

_Rachel wants me there and there's no way I'm going to say no to that._


	5. The Hands I Love

**A/N: Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy, while the song lyrics are by Gordon Lightfoot.**

**Thank you so much for all the positive feedback!**

**The M rating starts... now.**

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><p>They drove back to Rachel's house in anticipatory silence, the streets empty of all but falling snow and the occasional parked car. Inside the house, Finn helped Rachel off with her coat, then knelt to unzip her boots. He caressed her ankle and slid his hand slowly upward over her leg, gazing up at her intently. Her breath caught in her throat, and she started to shiver.<p>

"Are you cold?" Finn murmured, his hand starting to stroke the back of her knee.

"No," Rachel breathed. She moved closer to him, her hand reaching for the back of his neck; she cupped the back of his head, her fingers playing with his hair and stroking the edges of his ears. Finn's hand moved further up, finding the top of her stocking, his heart thudding suddenly as he realized she was wearing garters. And she'd probably been wearing them ever since he'd hinted about 'wanting to find something in her stocking' that morning.

Rachel tugged a little on Finn's head, guiding him to rise. "Let's go upstairs," she said quietly. Finn quickly shed his coat and boots, then took Rachel's hand as she led him up to her bedroom.

Once inside her room, she turned to face him, nudging him to the back of the now closing door, and then started doing what she'd wanted to do for hours: slowly unbutton Finn's new black dress shirt. She kissed his exposed throat above his sleeveless undershirt as she unbuttoned the first few, with Finn's hands strong on her back. As she reached the lower buttons he pulled the shirt out to let it hang loose; with the last button open, she let her hand linger down, feeling his growing erection through his pants.

"Find anything you want?" Finn murmured huskily in her ear.

"I've found something that wants me," Rachel teased in return. She gave him a heartfelt smile. "I'll get the lights." Finn let her go, and she moved through the room, lighting her bedside lamp and turning off the main light overhead. She turned on her desk lamp and pointed it at the corner of the ceiling, where it reflected to produce a soft glow.

Rachel turned back to Finn, who now stood near the bed, and she started to sing: (*)

_The lamp is burning low upon my table top  
>The snow is softly falling<br>The air is still in the silence of my room  
>I hear your voice softly calling<em>

She stepped closer to Finn and held her hand out to him, her voice rising and full of emotion:

_If I could only have you near  
>To breathe a sigh or two<br>__I would be happy just to hold the hands I love  
>On this winter's night with you<em>

Finn took her proffered hand and gently stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.

_The smoke is rising in the shadows overhead  
>My glass is almost empty<br>I read again between the lines upon each page  
>The words of love you sent me<em>

Finn's eyes dove into Rachel's as she continued, purging the last of her remembered sadness from their painful split last year:

_If I could know within my heart  
>That you were lonely too<br>I would be happy just to hold the hands I love  
>On this winter's night with you<em>

Finn took both her hands in his, lacing their fingers together. His mouth turned up in his knee-weakening half-smile, using it to send all his love to Rachel just as she was using her voice to send hers to him.

_The fire is dying, my lamp is growing dim  
>The shades of night are lifting<br>The morning light steals across my windowpane  
>Where webs of snow are drifting<br>_

Finn joined Rachel for the last chorus, their voices entwining, the formerly plaintive song becoming triumphant as they expressed their shared joy in a sound that filled Rachel's room:

_If I could only have you near  
>To breathe a sigh or two<br>I would be happy just to hold the hands I love  
>On this winter's night with you<em>

Finn held the note while Rachel sang the last line alone, finishing in exultation:

_And to be once again with you _

Their arms spread wide, still linked by their interlaced hands, as they moved together. Finn pulled Rachel into him, guiding her hands to his shoulders before embracing hers and giving her a slow intense kiss, his tongue sliding into her open mouth. He stroked her hair, his hand catching slightly on the open hook at the nape of her neck. He disentangled her hair and brought it over her shoulder, then had his face pulled down to her other shoulder as she threaded her fingers in his hair. Rachel rose on her toes and leant into Finn, letting him support her as she brought one foot up to curl around his leg. Their shared arousal built.

Finn nuzzled Rachel's neck, pressing his erection into her as he started unzipping her dress. He knew she loved the feel of this, of his hands slowly disrobing her, so he tried to take his time and traced a finger down her back to follow the zipper as it opened.

"Oh Finn," Rachel moaned softly, her neck arching back in response to his attentions. Finn slid a hand through the opening in her dress, spreading it open to push it off her shoulders, moving back to give her space. She lowered her arms to let the dress slide off them and then stepped out of it to rejoin Finn. Her hands went to his collar, fingering the satin stripe one last time before sliding the shirt off him, her hands stroking his bare shoulders and down his arms as she pushed it off. His hands caught hers again.

Finn looked at Rachel for a few short breaths, appreciating the sight of her body in a lacy ivory slip over red bra and panties, her curves accentuated by shadows. _So hot. And those garters're just begging for attention soon..._ Then he turned Rachel around and brought his lips back to her neck, nuzzling the pressure point under her jaw that was particularly sensitive. His hands cupped her breasts, his fingers teasing her erect nipples through her slip and bra. She moaned appreciatively and started to writhe, her backside rubbing against his hard cock. His kisses on her neck turned to nibbles as her reactions egged him on, and he lowered one hand to stroke down her abdomen to her mound, a movement which drove Rachel to grind back against him.

_Slow down, Hudson_, he told himself. He was rock-hard and throbbing. _You know how it drives her crazy when you take it slow. Though she's getting really into it now already. _With great exertion of his self-control, he put his hands on her rolling hips to halt them, still enjoying the feel of her body and movement.

Rachel turned to him and pushed her body into his, her breath hot on his throat, her hands sliding down his back to grip his ass. "Finn, Finn, don't stop," she moaned raggedly. "I want you so much." She ground her pelvis towards him, but sighed in frustration as he avoided it.

"We've got to take it slow or I'll come too soon, baby," Finn mumbled. "You're so hot and I'm so hot for you, Rach... we have all night, we can slow down, it'll be better I promise." He rubbed his mouth erratically against hers, uncoordinated, resisting the impulses of his body just to take her right now. A few hard pumps inside her and he'd get the release he needed but not the lovemaking that both of them craved.

Rachel nodded silently and kissed him, stilling her other movement. He returned her kiss lightly; she built it gradually, cajoling his mouth into greater responses as she gripped his shoulders. The incendiary heat between them turned into a slow rising burn as they focused all attention on their kiss, with lips and tongues teasing at each other. It was as if nothing in the world existed but them – an illusion that was shattered when a large snowball thudded against Rachel's window.

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><p>* Song for a Winter's Night, by Gordon Lightfoot; use here inspired by the Sarah McLachlan recording.<p> 


	6. Coitus Interruptus

**A/N: As always, I do not own Glee. I am having a lot of fun writing in its world, though! Much thanks for all th positive reviews/follows/favorites, as it makes writing even more fun.**

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><p>"What!" Finn exclaimed as they both jumped, rudely jerked back into the world. Trying to ignore the throbbing in his crotch, Finn hurried to the window and peered between the closed blinds to see what was going on just as another snowball hit. "You mean you didn't make this up!"<p>

"No!" Rachel was momentarily outraged. "Why would you think I would lie to you about this?" she protested. "I may have _played_ it up, okay I did, but I would never make up such a thing."

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I know you wouldn't," Finn apologized. _Not as if she needed an excuse to get me here_, he thought. "It just seemed weird." He peered out the window at the human figure below.

"I suppose it does," Rachel admitted. She went over to stand by Finn at the window, touching his shoulder. He put his arm around her as they continued to watch the intruder, who seemed to have given up on snowballs and was heading to the back path. "Finn... I didn't lock the front door," Rachel said, suddenly scared.

"This is ridiculous, I'm putting a stop to this," Finn said. He turned and headed out the door, his sexual frustration turning into adrenalin and a burning fury at the interruption. _This asshole's gonna regret screwing up our night and trying to scare my girl._

"FINN!" Rachel tried to call him back as he raced down stairs. He hurriedly put his boots back on and grabbed his jacket, then headed out the front door to chase around the house for the intruder.

As Finn reached the corner to the back yard, he stooped and grabbed a few handfuls of snow, making a firm snowball. He peered around the corner and saw the figure stooping, apparently writing something in the snow on the Berrys' back patio. He recognized the man's jacket as being from McKinley, and was filled with rage at the perpetrator. _Bad enough they hassle her at school_, he thought. _How dare this guy go after Rachel at home._ He breathed on the snowball to make it a bit harder, then stepped around the corner, aimed, and let it fly.

The snowball flew through the air with his unerring quarterback's aim, and it smacked satisfyingly into the man's head. Finn was already halfway there, ready to follow his projectile up with his fists, when the "OW" he heard registered in his brain, in a voice he knew.

"Puck?" Finn was in disbelief, but the man that turned to face him was indeed his friend and teammate. "What the hell! Hassling other Jews at Christmas?"

"Hudson! Man, where was that arm a month ago?" Puck was still shaking off the effects of the snowball as Finn closed to him. He removed his hat and tried to shake off the snow. "No, man, you know I'd never hurt your sweet little Jewish-American Princess." He motioned to Finn to keep it down, and lowered his own voice. "Just trying to help you out, actually."

"Trying to help me out?" Finn echoed in disbelief. "Does it look like you're helping me out here?"

Puck looked at his friend in front of him, and took in Finn's appearance: hair mussed, lips a bit swollen, jacket open and hastily slung over just an undershirt."Yeah, guess not," he admitted. "Sorry. Thought I'd give you a little assist, scare her a bit, you know?" Finn gave him an unsympathetic glare. "Just enough so she'd call you in, man," Puck continued confidentially. "Guess I should've known she'd be ten steps ahead of me."

"And I suppose you also forgot what my truck looks like," Finn accused.

"Ah... shit. Didn't come round the front."

"What makes you think that I need any "assist", anyway?" Finn was calmer now, but still annoyed at the interruption.

"Well, Lopez did kinda put it about that you weren't great in the sack," Puck said. "So I thought a little extra motivation wouldn't hurt, help convince Berry that a night against your semimuscular chest was a good thing, y'know?"

"It's so sweet of you to think of others, Noah." Rachel's cold formal voice came from the now open back door where she stood, her coat done up. "However, while I'm not going to "put it about" with any details of our private life, let me assure you that I find the quality of the experience provides more than enough motivation for it." She smirked at the shock on both men's faces. "Apparently it just takes the right woman to inspire him."

"Uh... Hi Rachel," Puck blurted out, his face red from more than just the cold.

"Hello, Noah." Rachel said pointedly. "Goodbye, Noah."

"Yeah." Puck acknowledged Rachel's order but didn't move.

"And don't do this again," she continued. "It wasn't funny before and it isn't funny now."

"Again?" Puck showed puzzlement, but slyly winked at Finn. "First time." He took in Rachel's continued glare. "Uh, last time too." He looked in panic at the recognizable "Light It Up!" message he'd written in the snow, and started hastily kicking loose snow over it, motioning to Finn for some help. Finn frowned, but he made a better job of eradicating the implied threat by walking through it sloppily.

Rachel sighed. "Finn, when you're done playing around in the snow, you might want to consider coming inside." She closed the door behind her, and they heard the audible click of the lock.

Puck looked ruefully at Finn after they'd finished wiping out his handiwork. "So, uh... sorry, man. Band still on for New Year's Eve?"

"Yeah, I'll talk to you about it in a couple of days," Finn said quietly. "I have some ideas."

"Great, it'll be kick-ass."

"Yeah," Finn smiled momentarily. "Now get out of here," he finished grimly. "Now. And don't do this again, Puck."

"She's really got you by the balls, man," Puck commented.

"Says a guy known for thinking with his dick," Finn jibed in return. "Get lost, okay?" Puck nodded and left, scaling the fence behind the Berrys' yard. Finn watched him go and groaned. _With a friend like Puck... _Hopefully he could loosen Rachel up again and pick up where they left off, though she did look pretty mad.


	7. You are a Constellation

A/N: sorry this took a while, hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: Glee and characters still not mine, though I do like to play with them.

Warning: check the rating, check your age, and check your prudishness at the virtual door.

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><p>"Rachel?" Finn called out as he locked the front door behind himself. "He's gone." <em>I didn't have anything to do with that, she can't be mad, can she?<em> he thought with some concern.

"I'm in the kitchen," Rachel responded. Finn hung his coat up, kicked off his boots, and went to meet her. She came to the doorway, smiling, still wearing only her lacy slip over her underwear. "I was wondering if you wanted some hot chocolate, to warm up."

"Uhh..." Finn's jaw dropped as he took in the sight of her again. Fully lit, her red bra and panties were even more striking under the ivory lace, and there was definitely a garter belt under there. God, she was so beautiful, so hot, especially because she wasn't working it. He swallowed, his mouth suddenly very dry. "Um, just some water," he stammered out. "Please." _Not mad. The heat's on full – in more ways than one._

Rachel smiled, got a glass, and filled it from the jug in the fridge. Finn took it, their fingers touching, and he drank, the cold water quenching the thirst in his throat and helping clear his brain a little. "Thanks," he said, his heart hammering.

"You're welcome," she said, taking the empty glass from him and reaching back to leave it by the sink. Then she wrapped her arm around his neck, pulling him down to her, her mouth meeting his. She sucked on his bottom lip in that serious way that always wrecked him. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around her, his hands stroking down her body to grip her ass firmly. Rachel gave a small moan and leaned further into him, as if their bodies could fuse even with the layers of clothes remaining between. Their tongues tangled.

"So... where were we?" Finn smiled down at her as they came up for air. She gave him a knowing smile and took his hand. Once more she led him upstairs. Halfway up she turned back to him for a kiss, enjoying the rare advantage of height that a couple of stairs gave her, and then they continued to her room, which was still suffused with the lamplight's glow.

Finn took his belt and dress pants off, folding them up on the desk chair where, he noticed, she'd already put his black shirt. As he bent over, Rachel came up behind him, pressing herself into him, her hands sliding up his chest, pulling at his undershirt.

Finn was getting hard again, but he still momentarily panicked. They'd made love several times since their first incredible night together by the fire, and they were getting used to the feel of each other and trying new things, but they'd never really looked at each other naked. Specifically, she'd never really looked at him; the one time his shirt had come off, they'd already been tangled in the sheets and in each other, and while he enjoyed her rubbing his torso it had always been in the heat of the moment. Puck's crack about his chest still stung, as did the reminder of Santana's negative comments about his physique, and Finn already felt rather exposed wearing just the thin tank. So Finn pushed his undershirt down, resisting Rachel's hands, trying to make it seem playful.

Rachel, however, was having none of _that_. With the front of his shirt pushed down, she just moved around, her hands moving insistently up over his sides. _Oh no, not the love handles_, he thought. He turned back to face her, trapping her hands around one side, putting his near arm around her shoulders.

"Trying to steal another shirt?" Finn half-teased, trying to hide his trepidation.

"Do you really think I won't eventually get your shirt if I want it?" Rachel asked with a played-up simper. She freed her hands and pushed at his chest, guiding him backwards until he tripped back over the edge of her bed and sat down. She stood between his legs, leaning into his hard-on. He nipped at her neck, then moved downwards to lick at the exposed top of her breasts, his arms tight on her waist.

Rachel moaned and pulled up the back of his shirt, which caused Finn to stiffen up reflexively. She pulled back and look down at him insistently. "Seriously, Finn, what is wrong?" she asked, concerned. "Is there something you don't want me to see?" Silence. "If you had any tattoos or birthmarks I'm sure I would have heard about them by now." More silence, as they stayed frozen in place. "Finn?"

Finn exhaled in a whoosh of air. "It's just... you know I'm still... not all that... secure in how I look," he admitted slowly. "And that joke..." he sighed again, looking forlornly up at her. "Do we have to?"

Rachel held his head, stroking his ears, and bent to press a kiss to his lips. "Finn," she said seriously, "I know I'm not the best example at not being sensitive about things, but they just pick on this to get to you. I," she emphasized, rubbing her hands up his back, finally able to pull his shirt up as he sat unmoving, "think your body is wonderful." She met his eyes again, smiling encouragingly. "It certainly feels wonderful, and I'm sure it looks wonderful too, ok? Besides, I'm not into objectification, I just want to be with you in every way."

Finn nodded silently, his eyes locked on hers until she pulled his undershirt off over his head and then pushed his bare chest. He lay back, closing his eyes for a moment, feeling exposed under Rachel's scrutiny.

"Oh." Rachel made a small uninterpretable noise. "Finn..." her voice caught.

_Oh God it's worse than I thought. Maybe it's all the moles. Or the pit hair – should've done something about that._ Finn opened his eyes, unnerved, and raised his head to see Rachel's reaction. The look on her face was far more obvious, as she stared down at him with an expression that verged on animalistic lust. He felt his cock harden and his skin flush from that look alone. _Oh._

Rachel swallowed and leaned down over Finn's body. "Clearly nobody has ever really looked at you before," she said. "Good." She kissed him hungrily, and he arched himself up to meet her. After a long kiss, she scrambled up onto the bed, with Finn pulling his legs up and pivoting to join her. She moved across to straddle him, smiling as his hands came up to hold her ass. She traced a hand down his chest, slowly stroking over his clearly defined abdominal muscles. "I may come around on that objectification issue," she smiled. "Just for you of course, if you don't mind."

Finn nodded, his mouth agape, his heart racing. Rachel was looking at him like he was a piece of meat, and he didn't mind one bit. _Better than meat since she's vegan. _She leaned forward and kissed him deeply, her tongue delving into his mouth as he started to fondle her buttocks.

Rachel pulled back from the kiss and met his eyes seriously, her forearms pinning his head as her hair fell in a curtain around them. "Finn, you don't ever need to hide anything from me, no matter what you think of yourself. I love you." She raised one hand up and traced the moles on his left cheek while her other hand played in his hair. "Your body is wonderful, of course because it is, but most especially because it's yours." She kissed him again, more lightly this time, pulling a little on his lower lip. Then she moved a bit lower, kissing the pulse point under his right jaw, worrying it a little with the tip of her tongue. "Let me show you."

Finn gave a small moan and brought his hands up to slowly rub her back as she moved down, now kissing the mole under his chin and in the hollow of his throat. "You are a constellation," she whispered. She kissed the mole under his left ear.

The loose lacy fabric of her slip hung down, tickling him. _That's good... but I want to feel you,_ Finn thought. He slid his hands up her back, taking her slip with them. Rachel sat up and pulled it off over her head, revealing her red lace bra. Finn looked up at her and felt all remaining blood go straight to his groin. _So freaking gorgeous... sexy... oh Rachel._ "Rach," he breathed. She nudged him back down and he went without resistance, and closed his eyes as she lay down on top of him again.

Rachel straddled his left leg, and he could feel her wet crotch rubbing against his thigh. It elated him to know that she was that turned on by what she was doing to him. All the same, Finn had to clench his fists repeatedly to stop himself from flipping them both over so he could give her a taste of what she was giving him.

Finn felt her moist lips trace down his chest, then twinged as she rubbed her tongue over his right nipple. She paused to breathe on it, and he felt himself shiver. He brought his hands back to her ass, enjoying the feel of her lace panties, sliding his fingers beneath the garters that held up her stockings. He heard a low purr of pleasure, then felt her moist mouth suck at his left nipple. His hands were forced up to her back as she slid down his body, kissing the moles on his left chest as she went. He groaned as he felt her tongue slide along the V line by his hip, and a gentle suck just below his belly button.

Rachel sat up and repositioned herself between his legs, then raised his buttocks to slip his shorts down. She carefully freed his swollen cock from the waistband, rubbing it a little as she did so. She quickly finished stripping off his shorts and socks, then lay back down between his legs and started to trail kisses up his inner thighs as her hands touched his erection.

"You – you don't – you don't have to – " Finn moaned as he felt her tongue trace up the inside of his right thigh. _Please God yes._

A massive groan ripped from his throat as he felt her wet tongue swirl around his balls. "Oh God, Rach!" All words and even thoughts were lost as she sucked on them, a gentle wet pressure that drove him mad. And then her hands were around him, squeezing his cock tightly, starting the up-down rhythm he needed. The combination was incendiary and his hips started to buck. When she stopped sucking on his balls he whimpered involuntarily. A moment later her tongue was on his tip, rubbing it as she continued to stroke him hard. The pressure built inside Finn until he was sure he was about to explode.

Her hands released him just when he was sure he could hold himself back no more. But before he lost much ground gained to his summit, he felt enveloped by her warm moist mouth as she took him in, just a bit at first, then much farther once she stopped and tried again. She started sucking, picking up her former rhythm and accelerating, then brought him closer until he was all the way in. His hips were pumping hard now, with barely any control. _Please don't let me hurt her – but oh god this is incredible._

"Rach... Rach.. RACHEL!" Finn screamed, his hand tangled in her hair. A small vibration pushed him over the edge and he screamed her name again as he convulsed, ejaculating in her mouth. He shuddered and fell back as Rachel disengaged and swallowed.

Rachel lay down next to Finn, who had turned onto his side after his release. "Are you all right?" she asked him, putting her arms around his still trembling shoulders. He felt her hands stroke his hair as he came down.

"Uhh..." Finn tried to say something, failing initially. He took a deep breath, listening to his heart hammer, then opened his eyes to look with glazed wonder into his love's face. "That was... incredible, Rach," he finally said softly. "Just – wow."

"Well that's what I think of your body," Rachel stated, nestling close to him.

Finn put his arm around her and breathed slowly, feeling his heartbeat return to normal. Well, normal for having a mostly naked and incredibly sexy Rachel in his arms, which was pretty fast. He touched his forehead to hers. "You know," he said quietly, "My memory can be pretty bad sometimes." He kissed her lightly. "I could probably use a lot of reminding."

Rachel giggled and returned his kiss. The combination of the familiar sweetness of her mouth and the salt residue from his cum inside it intoxicated him. Who was he kidding, he was never forgetting this.

"Though," Finn went on, "I thought you were vegan."

Rachel's initial shock at his line of teasing gave way to amusement. She shoved his shoulder lightly. "Were any animals harmed?"

"Uh, no," Finn grinned. "Not at all."

She rolled on top of him, hemming his head in with her hands. "Are you sure? Because I thought I heard screaming. No poor defenceless animal being tortured against its will?"

"No," Finn replied. He put his arms around her shoulders and rolled them both over so he was now kneeling over her, looking deeply into her eyes, his legs still between hers. "You can torture this poor defenceless animal like that any time."

"Good," Rachel said with a smile. "Then it's an entirely appropriate dietary exception." She blushed. "And I like how you taste," she said shyly.

"Oh yeah?" Finn smirked.

"Yes." She leaned up and kissed him.

Finn stroked her hair, his gaze sinking into her wide brown eyes that were so full of love. "Even in my wildest dreams I never thought I'd hear you say something like that," he said softly. "You are – so amazing. More amazing every day, every time we're together. The better I know you the more I want to." He winced internally at how cliché that sounded, but – _these things are clich__é__ for a reason, right?_

Rachel looked tenderly up at him and they breathed together, connected, hearts full. "I admit in some of _my_ dreams I have heard you screaming my name," she said. "I rather thought I'd be on stage. Though," she went on with a little blush, "I'm finding this... personal... appreciation to be extremely rewarding."

"'Well if you'd like it to be on stage I'll give it a shot," Finn said with a small smile. "But I draw the line at having an audience."

"Ooh!" Rachel tried to act outraged, but giggled and kissed him again.

They cuddled for a while, then Finn excused himself to use the bathroom. After he washed up, he caught a look at himself in the mirror, failing to cringe as he tended to the rare times he looked at his body. Rachel's touch, her kisses, had him feeling blessed somehow, like he'd received the only seal of approval that mattered. _She's so amazing... and she really does love me_, he thought, her words echoing in his mind just as her touch lingered on him: _"most especially because it's yours." _He still vibrated a bit from the orgasm she'd brought him to. He'd never have asked her to suck him off like that, so thank God she'd just gone for it. _Never shy about going after what she wants. God, Rachel_, he thought, flashing back to the look of desire on her face that had been the last image to fully register for him before she'd pushed him so high._ Luckiest man in the world. _He smirked a little at himself in the mirror. _Time to go earn that luck – and kiss everywhere I've always wanted to._ He loved warming Rachel up, touching her intimately, feeling her change and yield to his touch. _Gonna crank it up to 11 and rock your world, Rach._


	8. A Sigh or Two

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Glee, and even if I did they'd never give official approval to stuff like this.

M rated, not kidding!

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><p>Rachel sat up on the bed, watching Finn walk back from her bathroom. Her eyes raked over his still-naked body, enjoying the sight of the gentle move of his muscles. <em>Seriously, how he could think he's not attractive<em>, she thought. Her breath hitched as she saw his partly swollen member twitch, and she met his intense gaze. She heard her heart thud at recognizing Finn in take-charge mode, which was easily one of her favorite sides of Finn; she loved how he shone when bringing about something he wanted. Right now what he wanted was clearly her. And though he really didn't have to work for that, she felt an extra tingle at how committed to his quest he looked, his demeanor showing that same look of determined pursuit he'd had when winning her back on the stage at Nationals.

Rachel leaned back on her arms, her knees up in front of her, as Finn approached. He sat down on the bed next to her and slowly moved his hand down her far side. She felt she could catch fire from the desire in his eyes. "You're overdressed, Rach," he murmured. "And I have been wondering all day..." he trailed off, rubbing his hand slowly down her leg.

"What? What have you been wondering?" Rachel smiled at Finn, her heart speeding up, the nerves under her skin giving a delightful shiver in response to his touch. Warmth started to pool in her abdomen as he brought his hand back up her leg.

"What's in your stocking," he murmured, leaning over her to lightly rub his lips on hers. "Time I checked." He shifted down, holding her eyes in his for a last moment before lowering his head to the top of her right thigh, pressing his lips to it as he carefully undid the garter. He slowly rolled the stocking down her leg, stroking her bare skin firmly behind it. Rachel gasped and let her head fall back, drinking in the sensation of it. He removed the stocking from her foot and lightly kissed her instep, sending a delicious jolt shooting up to her spine. Then he paused. After a moment Rachel raised her head, disappointed at the loss of contact; her heart thumped as she found Finn's desire-filled eyes staring at her. A moment later he repeated the process with her left stocking, this time with her watching his head and hands move down her leg. The slow torture of his touch was exquisite. Oh how she'd wanted and dreamed about this.

Her legs both bare, Finn crawled back up to kiss her, sliding his tongue into her mouth, then nibbling at her neck until she moaned. Rachel skimmed her hand down his back to grip his buttock, but was disappointed when he stopped his own attentions to put his hand over hers, preventing her movement.

"Please... don't do that," Finn said huskily, removing her hand. Rachel was confused. "I really want to do this for you and I don't think I can if you touch me like that," he explained. "You know how fast you get me going."

"All right," Rachel breathed, squeezing his hand briefly, then pulling hers back. Finn was the only one who could bring this out of her, who had her trust enough that she could cede control and actually enjoy being vulnerable and letting someone else be in charge, of anything really. Though it didn't hurt that what he did with that control felt _so good._ She looked up at him, her eyes wide, full of love and want. He leaned forward and kissed her again, trailing his mouth down her throat to kiss between her breasts. Rachel closed her eyes, letting herself only feel. His mouth worried at her neck again.

"You're going to have to help me out a little here," his voice came huskily as he moved one of her arms to around his shoulders. She tightened the hold and felt herself lifted. "That's it." His hands caressed her back and slipped beneath her bra clasp to release it. He stroked down her spine and then settled her back onto the bed.

He gently loosened and removed her bra, then she heard his breath catch. "You're so beautiful, Rach," he said softly, and Rachel felt herself warm from the sound of his voice alone. "I love you so much." His hands, fingers long, strong and calloused from drumming, caressed up her sides and started to massage her bare breasts. He slipped his tongue back into her mouth as he continued, rubbing her nipples as they kissed. Then he let her breathe for a moment before dropping his mouth to take in a nipple, slowly sucking it and rolling it with his tongue. She moaned and clutched his head, starting to rock a little with pleasure. He turned his attentions to her other breast, licking, probing, sucking, sending jolts through her. Her hand threaded in his hair as she gasped out his name.

Finn's mouth traced lower as he moved down her body. Then his fingers slid under the garter belt, slowly sweeping it and her lace panties down her legs and off to bare her completely.

Then... nothing. She could feel Finn kneeling between her open legs, but she kept her eyes closed and listened to her heart race as her anticipation built. A gasp ripped from her throat as she felt a sudden puff of air, Finn's focused breath, stir the hair at her cleft.

_Oh God, Finn._ He hadn't even touched her there and it already felt so good. Rachel squirmed as Finn's lips pressed lightly against the skin below her belly button, and then she felt him breathe on her again.

Her breath hitched.

Then she felt something strong, soft and warm probing her, parting her slick folds to slide inside her, and _oh god that's his tongue..._ Rachel moaned loudly and started to writhe. His arm went over her, holding her steady as he continued his oral attentions, now licking her clit. "F-Finn..."

He'd never done this before. And how it felt... _God, Finn_. She'd known his mouth was talented, but this... A profound moan was wrenched from her throat as he pressed his fingers into her, the tip of his tongue probing her clit again. The intense pleasure was almost unbearable. His arm kept her in position as she rocked her hips, needing him deeper and deeper. Harder. More. _Finn_. She soared, her moans incoherent.

"Let yourself go," Finn whispered, and she could feel him as well as hear him. "I'll catch you." His tongue rubbed harder and faster as he curled his fingers inside her. She arched and fell back with a wordless cry as ecstasy crashed around her.

In her daze, Rachel felt Finn crawl to lie alongside her and wrap her in his arms.

"You taste really good yourself," Finn whispered.

Rachel panted, still reeling. "You'll eat anything," she gasped eventually.

Finn chuckled. "Found a new favorite dish." And he kissed her, slowly, sensually, the familiar taste of his mouth laced with something that was definitely her.

Rachel turned to face him, feeling more stimulation as her nipples brushed against his chest. She opened her eyes to meet his, seeing the need there and the clench in his jaw that betrayed how much self-control he'd been using to keep himself in check. _Oh, my wonderful Finn._ She was still peeling herself off the ceiling from how high he'd sent her, and yet he also made her feel so cherished, so loved, her heart touched even more than her body. She stroked his head and kissed him back, raising her leg to wrap around him, feeling her arousal rebuild, wanting not just the pleasure of his touch but all of him, everything Finn was.

Finn pulled away, turning to grab a condom from her nightstand. He gritted his teeth as he rolled it on, still clearly fighting hard to stay in control. Rachel pulled him back to her, stroking down his back to grip his buttocks. The feel of him pressing hard against her abdomen made her want nothing more than to tilt up and take him in, her center a void that desperately needed to be filled.

Rachel shivered as Finn ground against her. "Please, Finn," she whimpered. "I need you." She rolled onto her back as he moved over her.

Finn stroked down her leg, then raised it, bringing it between them to hook her foot over his shoulder, a position that was rapidly becoming a favorite. His lips caressed her ankle as his hand slid back to her thigh, then lower still to fondle her ass, his fingertips dipping inside her again. She felt so slick, and open, and she just needed him. _Now._

She moaned as she felt him enter, driving slowly into her, his pleasure suffusing his face. Their eyes met briefly. She hooked her free leg around him, pulling him deeper, reeled by just how much she _felt_ at the sensation of him hard within her and his firm body against hers. Then he lowered his head and started to move, pumping in and out. His hand worked her clit in counter-rhythm to his thrusts, sending her skyward again. She swept her hand slowly up his back, feeling skin and muscle and strength and _Finn, Finn..._

"God, Rach!" Finn was panting, accelerating the rhythm, rubbing against her breast as he moved. His lips found her neck. Rachel's nerves were on fire, and the tension built to near-unbearable levels. Then Finn's hand suddenly altered its rhythm against her, and she tipped over the edge, his name on her lips, arms spasming and clutching him to her as he shuddered his own release.

Finn rolled to one side and collapsed, still panting. Rachel looked at him, the sight of the dopey grin on his face adding to her own intense pleasure.

"That was..." Finn exhaled, opening his eyes and gazing at her in wonder. "Wow." He kissed her lightly. "Rach, I -" he cut himself off, meeting her eyes, exhaling again as his breath slowed.

"Yes," Rachel replied, stroking his face. "I – yes."

"I don't have any words good enough for that." He stroked her shoulder slowly. "Do you?"

"Oh..." Rachel was still coming down. "Amazing, incredible, spectacular... they all seem too small."

"We'll need to make up our own."

"Sure," she breathed. "When my brain works again. Like tomorrow, or next week..."

Finn chuckled and wrapped his arm around Rachel.

"Only one word describes how I feel right now," she murmured.

"Oh yeah?"

"Finn."

"Yeah, Rach, what's the word?"

"That's the word. Finn. It's the only thing in my head when I feel like this."

"That's my name, Rach," Finn whispered in her ear, amused.

"I know. Nothing else really matters right now but you." She rolled onto her side, and snuggled into him. "I love you, Finn."

"I love you too," Finn said softly. "And I love this, this was a really great idea."

"Getting naked?" Rachel smiled.

"Yeah. It's like we're even closer, we're part of each other." He held her closely nestled against him, her cheek on his chest, her arm around his waist, their legs intertwined. "I had no idea it was possible to feel this amazing."

"Neither did I," Rachel whispered, and felt Finn kiss her forehead. She tilted her head back slowly to look up at him. "Merry Christmas, Finn." He kissed her lips in reply.

They lay together like this for a while, Finn stroking Rachel's hair. Eventually Finn groaned. "I hate to move, Rach, but I need to clean up," he said.

"Mmm-kay." Rachel loosened her hold on his waist to let him slip out. She turned onto her back as Finn sat up. He stood and gazed down at her.

"I don't think I've ever seen anything more beautiful than you right now," Finn murmured.

Rachel smiled. "But I must be a mess."

"You're a gorgeous mess. And it's a very special kind of mess," Finn explained as Rachel blushed. His eyes raked her bare body, and her self-consciousness vanished at his obvious appreciation. "I think I could get used to this nakedness thing."

Rachel thought of something that might be even better, and sat up. "Well how about if I put one thing on..."

"Nooo," Finn protested. "Just let me look at you like this."

"Trust me." She opened the jewelry box beside her bed, took out her 'Finn' necklace, and put it on. "How's this?" She smiled up at him.

Finn gazed at her, agape. After a moment he grinned. "Okay."

"Just 'okay'?" Rachel pouted.

"Sexiest thing in the world," Finn elaborated. "But I think I'm going to have to change my sheets a lot more because I am going to dream about you like this."

Rachel blushed again, then looked at her boyfriend's still-naked form. "This'll have to do to give me sweet dreams until I get back."

"Speaking of sweet dreams..." Finn smiled. "I'll be right back." He grabbed his boxers from where they lay with his jeans, and went to the bathroom.

Rachel got up and looked at herself in her dresser mirror. Between her unkempt hair and the sweat on her body, not to mention her swollen lips and the shine of her nipples where Finn had licked, she was indeed a mess. A very well-loved mess. And she felt incredible, still buzzing from her orgasms and a bit aroused from Finn's attentions and obvious appreciation. _But did he ever tire me out. _She took a pair of plain white cotton panties from her dresser and put them on, along with Finn's undershirt. On her it was more of a loose minidress.

Finn saw her as he emerged from the bathroom, clad in his boxers. "Hey, you're stealing my shirt again," he mock-complained.

"I told you I'd get it if I wanted it. You can take it back in the morning." Rachel gave him a light kiss as she passed him by on her way into the bathroom. "I have to wear something or I'll never get to sleep." She quickly cleaned herself up, brushing her teeth and arranging her hair a little. _Still tousled but not completely unkempt._ Returning to her bedroom, she saw he was already beneath the covers and smiled at him as she turned off her desk lamp.

Finn returned her smile. "You have a room full of clothes," he teased. "But I have to admit you do look really cute, even if I like you better naked."

"You're not naked," Rachel said, getting into bed next to him and wrapping the covers around them both. She turned off her bedside lamp, and they lay together in the dark.

"I have to protect my equipment, it's kinda vulnerable," Finn explained, drawing her close into his side. "And me going without a shirt is close enough."

"Well I don't think I can sleep if I don't have at least a shirt on, not right next to you," she admitted.

"Oh... does that mean I turn you on too much?" Finn whispered teasingly in her ear.

Rachel giggled. "Something like that." She maneuvered herself a little so that her nipples weren't brushing right up against him - they were still rather sensitive, and despite how much he'd tired her out she was still somewhat aroused by his proximity. _Morning_, she told herself. She gloried in the feel of his long body pressed next to hers, and his strong arm around her. Falling asleep with Finn was one of her favorite things ever. She sighed happily and snuggled into him further.

They murmured goodnights and endearments to each other, interspersed with kisses, and eventually fell asleep.

* * *

><p>AN: This would be a good place to end it, but I've sketched out a whole lot more, including things resembling a story plot. Chapters should come faster now. _- HLine_


	9. A Little Bit More

_And he was holding her so close, his Rachel, her sweet body tight against him, her scent in every breath, his every fiber full of love and desire for her, wanting to make love to her again but somehow unable to move..._

Finn's heart sped up, forcing him awake, his eyes opening to register that the warm soft mass he was engulfing was indeed Rachel, his upper arm and leg wrapped around her in a full-body embrace, her long hair silky against his naked chest. _Shirtless? Oh yeah. Man, that was - beyond amazing. Best night ever. _She stirred, her backside rubbing against his morning erection, forcing a groan from Finn. He tightened his hand in reflex, finding something soft with a hardening nub, hearing Rachel's slow sigh, a little sleepy, a little happy.

Rachel took his hand in hers, loosening his arm until she could turn over to face him. "Good morning," she said with a little giggle, meeting his eyes. "Did you sleep well?"

"Well... I thought I had this really great dream, but..." Finn started lazily. He cupped Rachel's face, then leaned in for a kiss. "Turns out it wasn't a dream." He kissed her again, those lush lips of hers made for kissing, made for him to kiss. He disengaged from her and stretched, angling his legs to the side to get enough space on Rachel's short bed. He yawned.

Rachel rolled on top of him and smiled down at him. "Sore this morning?"

"Not really. Maybe a little stiff." His arms went around her again.

"I'd say no maybe and more than a little," she said, pressing her abdomen into his.

"Uh..." Finn looked sheepish. "Well, yeah, that too." His breath caught as he felt her pressing against him, and his heart started to race. Even after last night, he still wanted her so much, and she... _oh Rach._

Her lips brushed his, and he returned her kiss passionately. "Good morning," he murmured in her ear, stroking down her back, sliding his hands up underneath her shirt - _his shirt_ - to her waist. He thought momentarily of taking his shirt back, stripping it off her slowly, but was turned on by the thought of her wearing that and that alone. He slid his hand down the back of Rachel's panties, fondling her buttocks, sliding his fingertips between her legs to feel how slick she already was. He groaned in appreciation. "I'd think this was a dream but even my dreams are never this good."

"Then we should work on those dreams too," Rachel murmured, rocking against him. Her hand snaked between them, unbuttoning his boxers and rubbing his tip.

"Oh Rach, baby..." Finn moaned as he fondled her, still not entirely awake but his nerves tingling, wanting to feel more, feel every inch of her again. The nubs of her nipples, hard through the shirt, rubbed against his chest. His hands moved down, pulling her panties with them, Finn grinning as she pulled her legs up and kicked them off.

Finn rolled them over and pushed into her, enjoying the slick tight feel. Then sudden panic as he realized why she felt so warm and slick against him - no condom. _Fuck._ He was shocked to full wakefulness and hurriedly pulled out. "Sorry, babe," he mumbled as he sat up and grabbed one from her nightstand. He quickly opened the foil package and rolled it on.

"Wait," Rachel said, putting a hand out to hold him back.

"Rach?" _Okay I screwed up a bit, but..._ She didn't seem mad, though, just focused.

Rachel stood up on her bed and took a few steps forward to stand over him. "I'm light, this should work," she said.

"Hold on." Finn wrapped his arms around her hips, gripping her ass. _Like a peach..._ He smirked up at her and held her tight as he moved his mouth to brush the top of her cleft. _A sweet juicy one._

"Finn..." Rachel gasped as he used his tongue on her. "This isn't... _oh..._ stable..." Rachel made a sudden grab for his shoulders as she swayed.

Finn gave her a last lick and looked back up at her, grinning at the rapt pleasure on her face. But her standing near the edge of the bed wasn't that good a place to make her knees go weak. He held her tightly until she opened her eyes to look back down at him. He gave his lips an exaggerated lick and felt her quiver again at the suggestion.

"Don't spoil your appetite," she chastised, smiling.

"I don't even know what that means."

"Just help me down." She descended slowly over him, with him helping support her weight as she carefully impaled herself, her legs wrapping around him, her body pressed right against his. "There," she breathed. "Oh yes." Finn groaned as she started to rock gently, all of his senses full of her.

He kissed her deeply, probing her mouth with his tongue as he thrust up into her. His world filled with_ Rachel, Rachel, Rachel,_ surrounding him everywhere as if her small body had expanded to encompass his large one, clenching him tightly inside her. They moved against each other, tension building, blood pounding, rocking together, Finn feeling Rachel grind against him. His mouth traced over her neck as they moved. Finally Rachel started to tremble in his arms, sending Finn to his own release.

"Mmmm..." Finn groaned, coming down from his high, feeling Rachel quivering against him. "What has gotten into you," he said with a smile. _Always knew she was passionate, but - holy fuck, this is amazing. This whole night._

Rachel giggled. "Quite sure that's you."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"I did, actually." She stroked his shoulders, and leant back so she could look into his eyes. "I love you so much, Finn, and being with you like this, the way you love me and make me feel - it just makes me want you more."

_And __**that**__ is even more mindblowing,_ Finn thought.

She sighed and brushed her lips against his. "I'm so sorry I'm going away."

"I'll miss you so much." Finn kissed her neck.

Rachel sighed in pleasure. "You're addictive."

"So are you." They stayed sitting in close embrace, feeling their heartbeats slow down together.

Finn sighed. "I am so lucky," he murmured. "I love you so much, I always have, before any of this, and then to be able to be with you like this... wow." He kissed her softly. "You're the most amazing woman, and I get to love you, and have you love me, and be with you." He wrapped his arms around her and inhaled, enjoying the musky scent she gave off when making love. Then he groaned, feeling the numbness in his lower body from the prolonged pressure of her weight. "But my legs are falling asleep," he admitted.

"We can't stay like this forever," Rachel said, and she started to try to stand up, pushing down on his shoulders. He supported her at her waist as she carefully swung off to sit next to him, then he kissed her again and went to the bathroom to clean off.

"When do you need to be at Burt's?" Rachel asked as he returned.

"Place opens at noon, so about 11:30. I brought clothes so I can go from here."

Rachel sprang up. "Time for a good breakfast then," she said. "I'll have a shower and then I'll make you some."

_Breakfast? Oh, actual breakfast. Food. And actual showers. To get clean._

Some of Finn's thoughts must have been reflected in his face, because Rachel laughed. "Separate showers," she said. "We should leave _something_ to try another time." She kissed him and went into the bathroom, closing but not locking the door behind her. A few moments later the shower started.

Finn stood and caught a glimpse of himself in Rachel's full-length mirror. The near-nakedness of wearing just his boxers wasn't as comfortable in daylight as it had been in the soft glow of their night together, and Finn shied away from looking at himself too carefully. Too pale, not as in shape as he'd like... didn't really fit with how he'd felt last night or this morning. And Rachel... the corner of his mouth came up as he remembered how she'd shown her appreciation of him, and how he'd gotten her naked too, touched her everywhere, felt she was fully his. Rachel wearing only his name and a flirty look, mussed from their lovemaking - he was sure he'd never forget that sight. If dealing with his own exposure was the price of getting more of her, and of having her smooth skin on his, he'd willingly pay it. Finn tried not to slouch, a habit born from too many years of being the awkward tallest kid in the class. _Rachel loves who I am_, he told himself. _Stand tall._

Finn looked around the room and spotted his overnight bag sitting by the door. Listening to the shower run, he smirked at the thought of 'another time'. Rachel was taking their physical relationship in the same serious way she took everything, which was pretty intense. Sure, a lot of the time they just made out, and despite what others thought they even still studied many of the times when they were together, but Rachel had become a lot more free about touching him and letting him touch her now that they could follow through. She was also very good at both finding times when they could be intimate and things that they could do. Any lingering doubts he'd had about her motives in having sex with him, whether for experience or pity, had evaporated as he discovered how much she was into it. Though he was pretty sure she'd surprised herself in that as well. Last night under his touch she'd lit up more than he'd ever seen her, which made him feel both very lucky and also very proud that this was due to him.

_It's like I help make her even more amazing,_ he thought. _If I can light up her world even half as much __as she lights up mine..._

Finn's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Rachel singing in the shower, a song he didn't know.

_Sounds like a show tune,_ he mused, listening. (*)

_I used to tell myself,  
>That I had everything,<br>But that was only half true,  
>I had an aim in life,<br>And that was everything,  
>But now I even have you.<em>

_I have,  
>Something that I would die for,<br>Something that I would live for too -  
>Yes!<br>Now I have everything,  
>Not only everything,<br>I have a little bit more  
>Besides having everything,<br>I know what everything's for.  
><em>

Finn smiled, enjoying both the words and the joy in her voice. He dug his shaving kit out from his bag, but he was startled by the sound of a door closing downstairs.

"Rachel?" The call up came loudly, in a voice clearly belonging to Hiram Berry.

_Oh shit._

* * *

><p>* "Now I Have Everything" from <em>Fiddler on the Roof<em>, lyrics by Sheldon Harnick.


	10. Busted!

_A/N: This was sketched out a few months ago, so it's only consistent with continuity and characterization through 3-9._

* * *

><p>Finn froze momentarily as he heard Rachel's dads downstairs. They hadn't been due back until mid afternoon.<p>

"Rachel!" LeRoy Berry chimed in with Hiram, both calling out for their daughter. "_Finn?_" LeRoy continued, sounding even more irate. _Shit, the truck's out front_, Finn realized. He looked rapidly around for his clothes.

"Rachel, Finn, get down here right now." LeRoy Berry's voice was increasingly hostile.

Finn bolted into the adjoining bathroom where Rachel was still singing. "Rach, your dads are back," he called out, tapping the shower door to get her attention. She broke off her song suddenly. He grabbed his undershirt from where she'd let it drop and put it on, doing his best to ignore how her heady scent still clung to it. Returning to her bedroom, he hastily put his shirt and pants on, grateful that she'd piled them neatly the night before. He scanned the room and winced at the obvious signs of their activities – Rachel's red lace underwear from last night piled by the bed, a couple of unused condoms on the nightstand, and the two used ones... _No time. Have to keep them out._ He grabbed his socks and overnight bag, and he headed out the door and closed it behind himself just as Hiram Berry's head cleared the landing.

"Uh, Rachel's in the shower," Finn stammered.

"So I hear. Downstairs, _now_." Finn swallowed and followed him downstairs and into their living room.

"Finn," LeRoy Berry nodded curtly at him as he entered.

"Mr. Berry... and Mr. Berry," Finn squeezed out, looking at each of the men in turn. They'd told him a while back to use their first names, but he was pretty sure this wasn't the time to do that. He vaguely noticed that the water upstairs had stopped, and hoped Rachel would hide the worst of the evidence. _Not that they're not sure_, he thought. _But seeing that... just __**no**__._ He dropped his bag, but unconsciously gripped the socks in his hand.

"You're obviously surprised to see us," LeRoy said, breaking the very uncomfortable silence.

"Yeah, I mean, yes sir." _They must've gotten an earlier flight._

"There's half a foot of snow on your truck, so don't even try to pretend you just got here," Hiram put in, looming over Finn as only he could. "How about you sit down."

Finn swallowed and nodded, sinking into the chair behind him. He suddenly noticed the socks in his hand and put them on, staring at his feet, not wanting to look up at the Berry men. _And I may have to run for it, not that socks will help much... oh shut up. Breathe._

"So, Finn." LeRoy Berry stared at him, as if he was waiting for Finn to say something. Finn rapidly searched his stunned brain, and found nothing that wouldn't obviously make everything worse. But he didn't want to hang his head either, no matter how much it seemed to want to do that on its own, so he glanced over at the obviously irate man and reached for something to say.

"I hope you have a good trip to Chicago," Finn blurted out. _Well it's not obviously dumb_, he supposed, _about how they're back early or Rachel or anything..._

"Chicago?" Hiram Berry raised his eyebrows. "Why thank you, Finn, we intend to. We go every year, you know, to visit my brother for the end of Hanukkah. Which is already going on, of course. Which overlapped with your religious holiday yesterday, which apparently you took advantage of to _deflower our daughter_."

_Crap. Should have shut up. But 'deflower'?_ Finn gulped. "Well, not exactly..." he muttered. _Shit, shut up already!_

"You don't seriously expect me to believe that you spent the night in our daughter's room and kept your hands and other appendages to yourself, do you? Hell, you smell of it."

"Uh... no." Finn swallowed. "No, I don't expect you to," he clarified.

"So what's _not exactly_ about it, young man?" Hiram spoke acidly as he towered over Finn. Finn looked up at him, tongue-tied.

"He means it's not the first time," LeRoy Berry put in, sitting in a neighboring chair. "Isn't that right, Finn?"

"Uh... yeah..." Finn admitted. _I mean, Rachel put together a schedule and everything, not that we don't just go for it sometimes... not that I'm going to tell them that... oh hell._ His throat closed up.

"Great." Hiram huffed in frustration.

"Dad, Daddy. Did you have a good trip?" Rachel smiled brightly as she came downstairs dressed in her bathrobe, but her voice had a decided edge. She narrowly flashed Finn a supportive look, and he stood.

"Fine," Hiram said, unsmiling. "Not exactly the end we expected, though."

"You must have been lucky, to finish early and get a morning flight," Rachel said. "I was about to make some breakfast." Rachel was pushing through as though she could simply refuse the argument entirely, but Finn could tell it was causing her a lot of stress to act as though everything was normal. Their eyes met briefly.

"We've eaten already," LeRoy said. "And it's time you left, Finn."

Finn nodded, his throat still closed. Whatever they might think about Rachel inviting him over in their absence, they certainly had the right to throw him out once they returned. He picked up his bag.

"I'll show you out," Rachel stated.

"No," LeRoy said flatly.

"Yes," Rachel insisted pointedly, already moving to Finn's side, glaring at her dad as she passed by. She walked quietly next to Finn as he headed for the door, and took down his coat while he stooped to put on his boots. She opened the door for him and leaned up to kiss him lightly. "I love you," she whispered. "And I don't regret any of this. We'll talk later, okay?"

Finn swallowed and nodded, meeting her eyes, seeing worry but also love. "Sure. I love you, Rach." He hated leaving her to have to deal with her dads. Hell, he hated leaving her at all, and especially like this, getting chased out. _Being with her makes me feel like such a man, and now it's like I'm still just a kid._ "Have a good trip." With that he turned and left, trying to walk normally down the path to his truck, hoping it wouldn't have trouble starting because he certainly didn't want to have to get help at this point. _Good thing the Berrys aren't into guns. _He quickly brushed off the loose snow from the hood and windshield, then hopped in. The engine took a couple of tries to turn over, but to his relief it started and he headed for home.

* * *

><p>Rachel excused herself to get dressed, trying to calm herself down. She hated how her dads had acted to Finn, even though they'd been surprised there was no call for them to be so hostile, or to tear him away from her like that. After she'd dressed and had some cereal, though, her fathers called her back into the living room to talk to them, as they put it. <em>Answer questions, you mean.<em>

"So what were you doing, having Finn over while we were away?" Hiram asked, giving her a soft opening question.

"I think you've already decided what I was doing. And you've never given me any indication that I shouldn't, or that you had any issue with what I do while you're away as long as I don't throw another party."

"We've never given 'any indication' that you could, either. And here we thought it would be great that we could get back early, take care of the car, and spend more time with you before we all go to Chicago tomorrow, and here we find a boy who'd obviously come straight from our little girl's bed." LeRoy frowned at Rachel, his voice hard.

_'A boy'? Like Finn was just __**anyone?**_ "I'm not a little girl, I'm old enough to know what I'm doing," Rachel insisted, glowering at them. "I hope you're not seriously suggesting that I shouldn't have control over my own body. Especially considering how your parents interfered with you." She knew it was a low blow, but an accurate one - her dads had both had considerable parental disapproval for their "lifestyle choice" as some of their family apparently still considered it to be.

"That's _enough_, Rachel!" LeRoy shouted.

"I don't need your permission to make love to _my boyfriend_."

"No, you don't," Hiram said, trying to lower the heat of the discussion. "But this is our house, and what you do under our roof is our business."

"So we'll use the truck," Rachel countered, to be met with glares from both her fathers. "I'm not seriously suggesting that, I'm just trying to show you how unrealistic it is for you to suddenly try to control me like this." _And the truck wasn't that comfortable anyway._

"We're not trying to control you, sweetheart," Hiram replied. He exchanged a glance with LeRoy. "We're not. But we're still your fathers, and we need to take care of you and your future."

"And now you're one mistake away from that boy ruining your life, Rachel," LeRoy stated flatly. "I thought you had more sense."

"We're being careful," Rachel protested. _A little careless this morning but he'd fixed that immediately. _"Finn's not going to ruin my life!" She became more defensive at the accusation.

"He's already ruined things for you when he got carried away," LeRoy argued. "You'd have a national title if he'd had enough self-control to not kiss you on stage."

_Not __**again**__._ Rachel wanted to scream. She'd thought they were long since done with that particular topic. On their return from Nationals, the 'superman of kisses' had been key grist for the Lima gossip mill, and her dads had both been very thorough at expressing how she should have known better and how Finn had let her down. She had hoped they'd moved past that, and they'd been fine around Finn all summer, when they'd been home. Besides, they had both produced that kiss together, she'd been as into it as he had. And last night had been her idea.

"And you were so upset when he broke up with you last year and dated Quinn again," Hiram added. "Are you sure he's serious enough about you for this?"

"Dad, Daddy, please," Rachel pleaded. "Do you think I don't know what it feels like to be loved? You've shown me that since I was born. Finn loves me and I love him, and while we've both made mistakes and hurt each other in the past, we've grown past that. Grown up. And you're making this all seem so sordid, when it's not."

"Really? Our teenage daughter has her boyfriend sleep over when we're out of town, and it's not sordid?" LeRoy raised his voice again.

"Not until you put it like that." Rachel was crestfallen, tears springing to her eyes. _They're making a profoundly beautiful experience sound dirty._

Hiram looked from his distraught daughter to his furious husband and back again. "Honey," he said to Rachel cajolingly, trying to ease the tone, "how long has this been going on?"

"N-not that long," Rachel said, trying not to cry. "Since last month."

"When?" LeRoy asked, some of the sternness leaving his voice. "How?"

Rachel looked at her dads, started to speak, then shook her head. "I'm not going to tell you," she said defiantly.

"Rachel -" Hiram prompted quietly.

"No, I'm not," she insisted. "It was private and perfect and I'm not opening it up to let anyone leaf through it, not even you."

"We just want to make sure that what you're doing is right for you," LeRoy said. "You're still so young and have so much ahead of you. All your big dreams to fulfil."

"You're just going to have to trust me," Rachel replied. She winced at hearing her words, and at the darkening of both of her dads' faces at the words 'trust me'. "Trust that I know what's right for me, I mean," she added hurriedly. "It didn't just happen. We waited, we talked about it, we made sure we were ready," she explained. "Finn even -" she broke off.

"Finn what?" Rachel flinched at LeRoy's inquisition-like tone.

Hiram put his hand on Rachel's shoulder. "Finn even did what, Rachel?" he asked more kindly. "Just let us know, we need to make sure he's really being good to you."

"He -" Rachel swallowed and steeled herself to tell them what was most important. "Before, when we were going to, the first time, and then he thought I was going to do it for the wrong reasons, he stopped." _Can't you see how wonderful Finn is that he would do that, that it mattered more to him to have my heart than my body, that he was hurt when he thought I didn't really want him that way?_ "I knew he wanted to, he has for a while, but he wouldn't until he was sure I really wanted to as well and I knew I was ready. Ready to do it and ready for that stage in our relationship." She looked at her dads' thoughtful faces. "And that's all I'm going to tell you about it."

"You're over there a lot with him, and supposedly spending time with Kurt," LeRoy commented. "And he's over here, studying and rehearsing, you've said. So right now we have to wonder what's actually been going on all those times."

"Kurt and I really are good friends, and we've been making plans for college in New York," Rachel protested. "And Finn and I do study – his grades have gone up significantly, and he's preparing to retake the SAT. Of course that's not all we do, but you knew it wasn't just studying, even though I didn't tell you how far we were going." _And they're gone so much – did they really think I was just staying home alone? _She shook her head. "Blame me for sneaking around if you want to. But please don't blame Finn or think he took advantage of me." _Oh God, it's like 'Run Joey Run', only without any shooting. So far._

* * *

><p>Finn drove slowly home over snow-covered streets. Things could have been worse, he tried to console himself. The snow would have slowed them down as well, just enough so they hadn't arrived in time to hear or see anything. And, like Rachel had said, he too could not regret any of what they'd done. It had felt so incredible and so right.<p>

Back home, Finn tried to slip in quietly but ran into Kurt in the front hall.

"Hi," Kurt greeted him, then paused as he took in Finn's appearance: unshaven, clothes thrown on, and clearly very upset. He sighed. "What did you two fight about?"

"Nothing," Finn said curtly, starting to brush past his stepbrother. He stopped himself. _Don't snap. _"We didn't fight," he said more softly. "Her dads came home early and kicked me out." He looked at Kurt, whose face showed horror and some sympathy. "I just want to wash up, okay?"

"Okay," Kurt said slowly, and moved aside as if to motion Finn upstairs.

"Could you call her maybe?" Finn said quietly as he passed by. "Please?" Kurt nodded.

As Finn hurriedly went to his room, he heard Burt call out from the kitchen. "Hey, is that Finn back?" and Kurt's reply: "Yes, he's just getting changed."

"Huh," came the acknowledgement from Burt.

"Probably needs to eat too."

_Thanks bro_, Finn thought as he emptied his bag onto his bed. His stomach rumbled. His usual post-Christmas brunch of leftover stuffing might help him distract himself from the current situation.

Half an hour later, having showered, shaved, and dressed, he had just started in on some leftovers in the otherwise empty kitchen when Kurt stuck his head in.

"Guess you're not that upset," Kurt commented. Finn rolled his eyes, but jerked his head to invite Kurt in. "I suppose when you can't eat we'll know to be really worried."

Finn swallowed his current mouthful. "So?"

"She's fine, I think," Kurt said. "Sounded angry and upset but trying to hide it, and there was only so much I could get out of her with her dads in the same room. A good thing I was the one that called – LeRoy made her pass him the phone to check that it was really me."

"Shit."

"So they didn't walk in on you," Kurt stated.

"No. We were getting up." Finn frowned at Kurt's raised eyebrow. "Not like that. Not quite, anyway. They didn't interrupt anything, if that's what you're getting at. But they could tell." He took another mouthful of food and chewed for a while, then swallowed. "So she's mad, huh?"

"Not at you," Kurt explained. "The attitudes at the other end seemed somewhat hostile, and you know that tone in her voice she gets when she's determined to get something and pissed that it's not working. But I did ask her if she'd had a good time last night, and she said yes – and then followed it up by saying that she'd like to do it again sometime."

"She really said that?" Even with the stress of the situation, and his worry about how Rachel was doing, Finn smiled, and the knot in his gut eased.

"Yes, not that I really needed to hear about it." Kurt tried to be matter-of-fact, but his snarky tone still slipped in a little. "She also said that it's important to practice, but that may have been part of the cover at her end - she tried to make it sound like we were talking about singing something."

Finn grinned briefly. "Did she say what she was doing today?"

"Father-daughter time," Kurt reported. "Watching musicals. Laundry, packing, vocal exercises. 'No time to go shopping', she said, not that I'd asked about that. But she'll get in touch with you when she can."

Finn exhaled in relief. "Thanks, Kurt," he said, smiling. "You're a really great brother." Kurt smiled sheepishly, but nodded to acknowledge the compliment. "And you're really good at asking questions – don't know how you managed to get all that out of her without her dads catching on, but thanks. I owe you one."

"I'll add it to the list," Kurt replied with a smile and a flick of his head.

"Better just put it all together into a really big favor or I'll never be able to pay it off."

* * *

><p>Satisfied that Rachel was okay and would call or text when she could, Finn went into the tire shop for his shift. The mechanical nature of the work helped him get his mind off of his current problems, though nothing could completely get his mind off of his night with Rachel.<p>

"Finished with the blue Accord," Finn said to Burt, returning to the office with the keys. "What's next?"

Burt checked the list on his desk, quite a long list due to the recent snowfall. "The black BMW in bay 2," he said. "They're heading out of town tomorrow and they need top end snow tires, the works." He threw Finn the keys.

Finn caught them and went to find the car. _Black BMW... Oh shit_, he thought as he saw it._ LeRoy Berry's car._ Which means the man who probably still wanted to kill him was around somewhere, or at least would be coming back later. _And he'll talk to Burt, even if he hasn't already._ Finn closed his eyes and groaned. He momentarily wished they had been caught in the act – at least that way he'd've died happy. _Very happy._ Finn exhaled and tried to pull himself together. _Just concentrate on the job,_ he told himself. _Rachel's going to be riding in this car so there's no room for mistakes._ He took a deep breath and let his experience with the work take over, moving the car into place, hoisting it up, and getting to work on replacing the tires.

* * *

><p>Four o'clock approached, and Rachel had mostly finished packing her things for their trip to Chicago. Buried in the bottom of her suitcase were the two shirts of Finn's that she'd stolen before; she'd miss him like crazy, and already did, but could at least feel closer to him that way. Last night, and then again this morning – their physical and emotional connection had been so profound, so intoxicating, that it was disorienting and even painful that she hadn't really been able to say goodbye. Rachel had also carefully washed her underwear from the night before and dried it with her hair dryer, knowing that things would only get worse if her dads saw how their 'little princess' had dressed up for her boyfriend. Everything potentially shocking was carefully hidden away. She wanted to call Finn, but he was at work, and she wasn't sure just how private her phone would be, at least until they got to her uncle's. Kurt had said Finn was okay, and of course Kurt's call had shown her how much Finn had been worried about her. That would have to do for now.<p>

The remaining packing would need to wait for her toiletries in the morning, so Rachel went downstairs to see if her dads had calmed down yet. Her daddy was in the living room, but there was no sign of her dad.

"Where's dad?" Rachel asked Hiram.

"Oh, he's just gone to get his car," he replied. "With this weather he decided it needed new snow tires for the drive tomorrow. It was too warm before to need them."

_New tires. Oh, no._ "At Burt's?" Rachel asked in a small voice.

"Of course, we always go to Burt's," Hiram replied. He took in his daughter's trepidation. "I don't think he'll have a problem with Burt because of this morning," he said, trying to reassure her. "Burt's a great guy, we're both really happy he's going to be representing this district." His words had little effect; Rachel closed her eyes. "What is it, sweetie?"

"It's just..." Rachel opened her eyes to look back at him, worry still etched on her face. "Finn's taking a shift there this afternoon."

* * *

><p>Burt looked up to the door of his office as LeRoy Berry entered. "LeRoy! Good to see you. I thought that might be your car," he said. "Finn should be finishing up with it right now, so why don't you have a seat."<p>

"Finn, is it?" LeRoy frowned. He entered the office but didn't sit down.

"Yes. Why, is that a problem? I know he just does it part-time, but his work's good quality and he's very conscientious about it."

"Did you know he was over at our place last night?"

"Ah." Burt stood and walked around the desk to approach LeRoy. "Yes, we did," he admitted. "Rachel said she'd been having trouble with Christmas harassment, nothing very serious, and we thought it was okay for him to go. I take it you didn't know."

"Of course not." LeRoy's face was grim. "First we knew of it is when we got home early and found he'd been there all night. You didn't think of talking to us about it, or what's been going on with those two?"

"Honestly? No. I'm not sure how to even start that conversation, quite frankly," Burt admitted. "He was invited over by someone who lives in the house, who's above the age of consent and is independent enough for you to leave her on her own a lot, and who he's been involved with off and on for two years and steadily since May. I really don't think Rachel's being taken advantage of here, even though they're apparently taking advantage of your absences and probably ours too." Burt looked at LeRoy, who was still frowning. "And we don't have a double standard, Finn gets the same stay-out privileges that Kurt does. Next year they're all off to college. If they don't learn to handle their freedom sometime it'll be too late then."

"Yes, well, you have a son, it's not the same."

"What, you think that's easier, that Kurt couldn't be taken advantage of?" Burt protested. "You know the world's not exactly a welcoming place for young men like my son, even now. Hell, you should know that better than I do. And that boy's all that kept me going after his mother died, I'd change the world for him if I could. And I'm doing what I can."

"Of course, I'm sorry. And you are making a difference, that's a big reason why we supported your campaign." LeRoy was somewhat defused, and he sat in one of the waiting chairs.

"Sure, that's fine, and thanks," Burt said, accepting the apology and sitting at right angles to LeRoy. "Your support means a lot." He exhaled. "But hell, do you think I don't know what's probably going on in at least some of all the long hours Kurt spends over at his boyfriend's place? Blaine Anderson followed Kurt back from Dalton Academy, and I'm pretty sure it's not just because my son's a good study partner. And that's good," Burt stated bluntly. "It's good that there's finally someone else that loves my son because God knows he deserves it."

"And next year?"

"Next year who knows. Kurt's off to college and Blaine's a year behind. And these high-school things usually don't last anyway. But, right now," he emphasized, "all I really care about is that my son is happier, and feels more accepted, more able to be himself, than I have ever seen him."

"What if he doesn't go away?"

"Is that what you're worried about, that Rachel will change what she does for Finn?"

LeRoy nodded. "After all, you said yourself these things don't usually last. Rachel has big dreams, and we have big dreams for her. Too big to throw away on some high-school boyfriend."

"Rachel's dreams... let's just say that they seem kinda contagious. And that's a good thing too."

"All the big dreams in the world won't help if he gets her pregnant."

"So that's what's really bugging you," Burt said, looking intently at LeRoy. "It's not that they're having sex, it's that she might have a kid."

Leroy frowned. "Yes," he admitted. His face hardened again. "And whatever you may think about us being away a lot, with our work expanding, we know our little girl. She's so tenderhearted that eggs make her think of baby chicks. There's no way she wouldn't have it. And after what happened with Shelby Corcoran, there's no way she could give a child away either. But Rachel belongs on stage, not pregnant in the kitchen."

"Now you're getting ridiculous," Burt scoffed. "No way does Carole's boy not respect women as equals or even betters. And he practically worships your girl."

"Things happen sometimes."

* * *

><p><em>And there he is, talking to Burt. Just great.<em> Finn gritted his teeth. _What was that thing Kurt said? Faint __heart never won?_ He took a deep breath and walked to the office's open door.

Finn's knock grabbed LeRoy and Burt's attention away from their conversation. Finn focused on his stepfather. "The BMW's ready. I, uh, checked over a few other things while I was at it," Finn said. "Brakes, tire rods. I think it's good to go but I'd appreciate if you'd doublecheck the wheel balance."

"Uh, sure, son," Burt said, looking quizzical. "You've never had problems with that, though." He took the keys Finn handed to him and left to check over the car, leaving the other two alone.

"Mr. Berry, sir," Finn managed to get out nervously, not meeting the man's eyes.

LeRoy nodded curtly. "I would have thought I was the last person you'd want to be alone in a room with right now, young man. And a few 'mechanic's extras' won't change that."

"I just want to make sure the car's perfect," Finn said. "It's really slippery out there." He briefly made eye contact.

"Ah. Rachel."

"Yeah." Finn inhaled. "Just – the weather's pretty bad, and, and she's _everything_, and..." he clenched his jaw to stop his babbling. "I'm worried. Sir." He looked again at the older man. "I love her, I'd do anything to keep her safe."

LeRoy frowned. "So would we."

"I know, I didn't mean you wouldn't – I'm just doing what I can too."

"If what you can includes last night, that's not what we raised her for."

_Dance classes since she could walk_, Finn thought, trying desperately to squelch his inappropriate memory of the benefits of all that flexibility. "Of course not, sir," he said. He swallowed. "But I love her, and I want to be with her, and I know she feels the same way about me -"

"Rachel has big dreams for her future. She always has."

"I know. And I want her dreams to come true." Finn took a deep breath, looking at LeRoy again. "_All_ her dreams." They looked at each other for a moment, Finn steeling himself to not look away. They were interrupted by Burt's return.

"Straight as a die," Burt said, handing the keys to LeRoy. "Spot on, son." He nodded confidently at Finn, standing beside his stepson as they faced LeRoy. "Have a great trip, LeRoy," he said. "Drive safe." LeRoy nodded and left.

* * *

><p>Hiram and Rachel were both reading in the living room when LeRoy came in from the garage. At least Hiram was reading, Rachel flipped the pages of the book she was looking at but was too worried to focus on them. She was relieved to finally hear her dad return, but couldn't bring herself to look at him as he entered. She stared at her current page, still not really seeing it.<p>

"That took a while," Hiram said to his husband. "Any problems?"

"No," LeRoy replied. "Someone," he went on, looking pointedly over at his nervous daughter, "threw in some extra work and it took longer." He went over to Rachel and smiled down at her. "Seems someone's really worried about the state of the roads for our trip," he said. He sighed as Rachel finally looked up at him. "Well there's one thing I know you're right about, sweetheart," he said, his voice softening as he looked at her. "That boy loves you like nothing else in this world."

Rachel leaned forward, hugging his waist. "I love him too, Dad," she said softly.

"I still don't think he's good enough for you."

"If he isn't then nobody is," she murmured.

"That sounds about right. Nobody's good enough for my little girl."


	11. Planning

Finn took an extra shift at the tire shop the next day, helping finish off the backlog of cars in need of new tires due to the sudden snowfall. Mid-afternoon the phone in his pocket chirped, and he took a quick break as soon as he could to take a look at it, since he'd taken off all notifications except for his family and Rachel. What he saw made him suddenly much happier:

text: Got to Chicago. No problems, smooth ride :-) I love you. :-X Will call later. R*

Rachel was safe, she loved him, she'd call. And her dad had loosened up enough to have told her about Finn's efforts on the car. He grinned, texted her a quick "love you, miss you", and went back to work on the red Honda.

That evening he got together with Puck and Artie for a little band practice, figuring out some numbers to play at Brittany's party and throwing around some ideas for a few more. Finn reluctantly vetoed the AC/DC number Puck really wanted - yeah the guitar intro was kickass, and he liked to drum to it, but it also reminded him a lot of his night with Rachel, which for Finn meant _private listening only_. The last thing he wanted to do was piss her off by performing a song that might make her think he was publicly bragging. Rachel was very passionate - oh god, just how passionate she was - and didn't shrink from public displays of affection, but he knew if he started acting like she was a sexual conquest the way she touched him would change from mindblowingly erotic to mindblowingly painful. Or nonexistent. And that was fine, he'd rather keep how amazing she was to himself too (_one of a kind she's just mine all mine_) and not risk cheapening what they had. Besides, Puck was probably just trying to wind him up by pushing for the song.

Soon they had the bulk of the set list worked out. The biggest problem they had was spreading around the vocals; while they all liked to sing, they also all liked to play, and sustaining both for a full number was too much, especially since they all wanted to enjoy the party afterwards instead of collapse from exhaustion. Finn also wanted to show off a little since Rachel would be back, and he was hopeful that her dads wouldn't change their mind about her going entirely. As Finn looked over a number and started splitting off lines and verses, he started to understand some of the work that Mr. Schue had to put into planning their group numbers. He frowned at one song – they all really wanted to play it, but none of them had quite the right voice for it and they were all busy playing most of the time.

"We need someone else on this," he told the others. "Most of it anyway."

"Try Sam," Puck shrugged.

"He might not make it, he's coming back that day and the weather's a problem."

"How about Kurt or Blaine?" Artie suggested. "It's Kurt's range. Pretty perfect for him actually."

"If he'd do it..." Finn mused. Kurt was kind of picky about music. Both he and Rachel loved Broadway numbers best, but Rachel was open to singing just about anything while Kurt wasn't. "Maybe Kurt _and_ Blaine, get them both."

"You mean get Blaine to talk Kurt into it," Puck commented.

"Well, yeah," Finn admitted. "I'll talk to Blaine about it, if I can get him then I can get Kurt." Finn knew that he himself would sing practically anything if it meant he could sing with Rachel and feel her voice working with his, like some deeper form of communication or something. Kurt should be the same way with Blaine, or if not he should try it because it ruled.

* * *

><p>With work and band practice Finn was pretty much exhausted when he got home, so he had a snack and then went straight to bed. He took his phone out and looked at it, wanting nothing more than to talk to Rachel; but she said she'd call him, and he didn't want to screw things up with her dads any further by calling at a time that might be an interruption. He sighed and put it down next to his bed, only to grin a moment later when he heard his ringtone for Rachel, currently the drum-heavy intro to The Doors' 'Touch Me'.<p>

"Hey," he answered it, hoping it was really Rachel, alone.

"It's so good to hear your voice," he heard her say, and he relaxed.

"Yours too. And I was just thinking about you, it's like you can read my mind. In a good way."

"Wish I could." She sounded wistful.

"Everything okay?" he asked. "How are things with your dads?"

"I miss you," she answered. "And I'm so sorry about everything yesterday morning – well not how it started, I'm not sorry about that, but about everything that happened once my dads showed up. I know they were hard on you and it's not your fault they didn't know what was going on with us."

"It's okay, Rach." He swallowed. "Kurt said you were pissed."

"At them, at myself – I just couldn't see how to tell them we'd gotten more serious, and I really didn't want to talk about it anyway. They took it out on you and I'm so sorry."

"Hey, it's all right. I was kinda terrified, I can see where you get your intensity from, but I'll live." He paused. "But you didn't want to tell them?"

"Did you tell your mom?"

"Not exactly." _Weaseling..._ "Okay, not at all. She just figured it out because she sees how we are together."

"Well my dads don't, they're away so much these days. I wasn't about to say 'by the way, dad, daddy, while you were away on your very important business trip and missing my musical debut, guess what else I did?'" Rachel groaned. "They'd probably just have thought I was acting out because they couldn't go to the show, and it wasn't like that at all. And yesterday they wanted to know _details_."

"Um, what?" Finn blurted out. He took a deep breath, calming himself back down. "So what did you tell them?"

"'None of your business', basically. Their business, I mean, of course it's yours. They were all after 'when, where, how' though, and I wasn't about to cheapen our time together by trying to describe it. Also, just _no_, it's private." She sighed. "But I also don't want them to blame you or think that anything's wrong, that I need them to intervene, so I did tell them that it was beautiful and perfect and that you're a wonderful man who was completely considerate of my feelings."

"Wow," Finn breathed, elated at her description of their first time together and what she'd thought of him.

"Is that okay? I couldn't lie to them."

"Are you kidding? I've got the world's biggest grin right now, Rach."

"I'd say you're entitled." She giggled a little. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"And at least they're not snooping on my phone any more," Rachel said. "It was so hard not being able to call you yesterday."

"They wouldn't let you?"

"No. So glad you got Kurt to call, but that was really all I was allowed until we left. They're still in shock, I think, they're having a hard time accepting that I'm growing up and having a grown-up relationship. I've tried to tell them how important you are to me, but right now they just want to focus on our visit here. It's our regular holiday visit to my uncle's and they don't want it overshadowed, and that's understandable, but I can't just let them ignore my feelings. So I'm being rather passive-aggressive right now."

"What do you mean?" Finn knew Rachel was normally direct when she didn't like something. "You're usually more, I don't know, ordinary aggressive."

Rachel laughed. "I suppose so. But they don't want to listen to me talk about you at the moment so I'm wearing your shirt," she explained. "They haven't said anything but I know they know it's yours. And all my movie musical suggestions are ones with devoted young lovers and meddling family. West Side Story, the Fantasticks... I'll try Fiddler on the Roof tomorrow and sing along to key parts, they should get the point eventually."

Finn smiled at her talk of her efforts. Even her passive-aggressiveness was pretty determined. "Which shirt?"

"The flannel one. It's comfy to sleep in and feels a bit like you."

"You said you'd show me sometime," he teased, feeling himself get turned on by the thought of his shirt next to her skin.

"So I did. Hold on, I'll call you back in a minute."

The call hung up, and Finn looked at his phone for a few moments, then smiled when he got Rachel's MMS. She did look really cute in his shirt. Of course it was done up, with only enough throat showing to reveal his name in gold around her neck, but given the trouble he'd heard some other teenage couples had gotten into for 'sexting', especially with phones they took to school, that was just as well. Any 'private' pictures wouldn't stay private long, especially with some of the nosy friends they had. His shirt hung loosely on her, and its blue check really brought out the deep glow in her brown hair, but the best part was her smile, which took his breath away. He quickly saved the picture, planning to change her phone book picture to it later. A moment later she called him again. "Hey," Finn said. "You're right, you look wonderful."

"Thank you. It feels so good to wear it. A bit like you're here with me," she confided.

"Wish I was," he said. "Of course you always look wonderful."

"Thank you. A girl can never get too many compliments from her man," Rachel responded.

"Challenge accepted."

Rachel giggled.

"But if your dads don't come around... do we have to, um, stop?"

"Stop... being together?" Rachel was puzzled. "Finn, the amount of say that my dads have in what I do and do not do with my body is precisely zero."

"I know that. I just mean that... if they're going to cause too many problems."

"Well I don't want to encourage them to cause problems by going along with anything like that," Rachel replied. "Is... Finn, what are you saying? Do you want to stop?" She sounded hurt.

"No! God, no. Being with you, they'd have to drag me away, though, y'know, I hope they don't. Just – I could wait again, if I had to. If you needed me to." Finn swallowed. "You're worth it, Rach."

"Finn, that's..." Rachel's voice choked up.

"You okay?"

"Yes, oh yes, I just –" She paused and cleared her throat. "That's so sweet, Finn, that you'd offer that. But we won't wait again. It's my life, not theirs, and there's no such thing as 'too many problems' for me to be with you. You're worth it too."

Finn grinned. "I was hoping you'd say something like that."

"Good. Because I wouldn't want being with me to be something that was that easy to give up."

"Not in a million years."

"I couldn't give you up either. And I won't. My dads aren't going to get in my way, they always come around if I stick to what I want."

"This is different."

"Yes, it's much more important than anything else I've wanted. You're much more important. And you were right, earlier."

"About what?"

"Passive-aggressive is just not my style. So my dads and I are going to have a little chat tomorrow."

Finn chuckled. "If you were saying that about me – I think I'd just give you what you wanted."

"That's the idea. And they're very good at giving me what I want."

"I'm not so good at that," Finn said ruefully.

"You do better that that," Rachel said, sighing.

"Rachel?"

"You give me things I don't even know I want until you show them to me," Rachel murmured, her attitude softened. "That's the best of all."

"Oh yeah?" Finn's voice was husky.

"Oh yes," Rachel whispered. "Finding you was the best thing of all."

Finn exhaled. He wished so much he could hold her. For a start. "It really sucks that you're in Chicago right now."

"Yes. So I'll just have to imagine you wrapping me up in those long strong arms of yours and holding me tightly."

"And me kissing you. Slow... the kind of kiss that..."

"...makes me burn deep inside... until nothing exists but you..."

"Yeah." They breathed together for a few moments. "Sweet dreams, Rach." Finn pressed 'end call', then slowly laid his phone by his bed and went to sleep.


	12. Remembering: First Night

As she lay in bed, still tingling from remembered kisses, Rachel's mind drifted back to that first experience with Finn. She hadn't been exaggerating either to him or to her dads about how considerate he'd been, or how crucial Finn's reactions had been to how she'd felt; if he hadn't stopped before she'd never have understood just how deeply she craved that intimacy with him, or how much he wanted that with her. When they'd finally got together there had been no barriers, no rationales or expectations, just the two of them and how much they wanted each other.

She'd gone to him that night knowing that she loved and wanted him, only to find him hurting over the dead end that his football dreams had become. It had torn at her soul to hear him rave that everything was over for him, that he wasn't special; she knew nobody was more special than he was, he should never feel that he wasn't. They'd be special together, the way they should be. And he'd stopped pushing her away, and really looked at her, finally understanding what she meant.

He still had a moment of uncertainty, and he pulled back momentarily. "Are you sure? You're not just doing it to get it over with, or because you think I need it? Because trust me that sucks, I don't want that with you."

"And that's how I know this is right," Rachel insisted. "Because being with you, now, could never be like that. Finn, I'm so in love with you and I want this moment with you. Us, now. Even if nothing else had happened, I was going to ask you if you wanted to leave the party early. I'm ready, I know I am, and I don't need a fancy hotel or anything like that to make this special, all I need is you. Tonight... when I was singing about love, about that one special person, that was all you. You must have felt that."

"You were amazing." He looked into her eyes. "You are amazing. You gave an incredible performance."

"But it wasn't a performance," Rachel protested. "It was all true, all of it. Only it was about you." She leaned up and kissed him, pulling at his bottom lip the way she knew he couldn't resist. "Make love to me, Finn," she whispered. Rachel lay back, pulling Finn down to her. Her mouth opened to his kiss, and she arched herself up against him, her core warming at the hardness of his groin pressing onto hers. His hand at her back lifted her up to him as they kissed until they were both breathless.

"We could go upstairs..." Finn suggested. "You might be more comfortable."

"I like it here," Rachel said. "Perhaps you could light the fire." She particularly wanted to wipe out the memories of their attempt here the other night. Finn's bed could wait for another time. He nodded and rose to light the fire, then went to fetch a quilt and pillows.

Finn returned, laying the quilt and pillows down and removing his sweater. Rachel stood to meet him and reached back for her dress's zipper, but Finn put his hand on hers: "Let me." She melted into his arms as he slowly unzipped her and nuzzled her neck. "I've dreamed about this," he murmured in her ear as he slowly pushed her dress off her shoulders and down her body, leaving her slip on underneath. He met her eyes with a powerful look of love and desire, holding her with his eyes before they crashed together again for a very passionate kiss.

"So have I," Rachel murmured, sinking down onto the quilt. They made themselves comfortable on the floor, lying close together, facing each other. Rachel took Finn's hand and put it on her bare shoulder, sliding his fingers under her slip's spaghetti strap, encouraging him to touch her. He gave a flicker of a smile and slid his hand down further, stroking over her bare breast and cupping it. It felt... so wonderful, his thumb rubbing over her tautening nipple, his face almost reverent in his appreciation of her. Aside from sex itself, there were a lot of other things they hadn't been doing, since they knew they'd have a hard time stopping themselves once they started indulging. Rachel wanted to experience them all with Finn. She moaned softly as he rolled her nipple between his fingers, then eagerly sought a kiss, sliding closer to him. She delved into his mouth with her tongue, and they kissed passionately as Finn continued to fondle her breasts.

Finn trailed his hand down her side, then slowly traced up between her legs. Rachel's breath caught as his hand rose, and her nerves tingled. Warmth spread out from her core. His hand slowed as it approached her crotch, though maybe it just seemed that way as her anticipation built. Then she gasped as she felt his hand on her, his strong fingers lightly tracing over her panty-covered cleft. Her very damp panty-covered cleft. She involuntarily leaned into his hand, wanting more, and heard the hiss of Finn's indrawn breath. He spread his hand to her hip, sliding a finger under the lace edge.

"Can I.." Finn breathed, his voice shaky.

"Oh yes," Rachel breathed in reply. She closed her eyes and just let herself feel, enjoying the sensation of Finn's hands gently loosening her panties from her and sliding them down and off. She felt extremely vulnerable, lying there in only her slip, Finn's hands rising again along her thighs; but she looked into his face and saw vulnerability there too, and need and want, tense with attempted self-control, his amber eyes slitted._ Finn. _Then he touched her cleft again, one long finger stroking the wet heat between her legs, and her eyes flew wide with a strangled cry, her nerves on fire. She clutched his head, pulling him to her roughly, lips searching for his. His tongue entered her mouth as his finger slid into her, twin probes thrusting, exploring, all _so much... _Finn buried his head in her neck as another finger joined the first, moving inside her, then spreading her slickness over her... Rachel moaned and clutched at Finn, one hand scrabbling at his belt. She mewled as his fingertip rubbed her clit.

Finn looked at her, his eyes momentarily unhooded, his face wrenched by raw need. Then he broke off and opened his fly, pulling down his jeans and boxers. He opened the condom package in his hand, his hands shaking a little, glancing at Rachel to steady himself. She looked down at his groin as he put the condom on. _He's huge_, she thought, still panting in pleasure from his touch. _He's so large. How does that get into me?_

Finn saw the touch of trepidation that she couldn't disguise. "We don't have to," he said softly, though his eyes betrayed his need in contradiction of his words.

"I want you," Rachel insisted. "Everything about you." She exhaled. "It just seems like some sort of magic trick, you're so big..." her voice caught.

Finn moved closer, stroking her body, starting to massage her breasts again. "It is magic," he said huskily. "You and me, we're always magic." He kissed the pulse point on her neck, and started to worry it with his tongue.

"Yes..." Rachel breathed.

Finn rolled her onto her back, his hand sliding between her legs again, rubbing her slick folds rhythmically, building, deepening, accelerating, Rachel spreading wide as she wrapped her legs around him.

"I love you," Finn panted, his eyes on her face, and then he rocked his hips into hers, pushing. She felt him hard against her, but not quite able to go in.

"Hold on..." Rachel put her hand on him, next to his own, and tilted her pelvis a little until she could feel his tip press into her opening. _There. _And then she felt him push in, a small tearing as he pushed through, and then the pressure inside as he filled her and stretched her. She gasped back a cry; it did hurt, and a few small teardrops squeezed past her eyelids.

"I'm hurting you," Finn mumbled, starting to pull back.

"It's supposed to," she gasped out, gripping him more tightly. "Touch me again." His hands came back to her breasts, teasing her nipples again as he kissed her neck, and then he slipped a hand down to rub her clit. She started to moan again, feeling intense pleasure as her body responded to his strong fingers. She felt herself loosen a bit around the large hard swell of Finn's penis, still buried inside her, stretching her in a strange mix of tension and pain and pleasure. _That's Finn, inside me... __**oh.**_

He pushed in again, more deeply, stretching her further, then waited for a moment as her tension dissipated. Then he started to rock his hips, pushing back and forth, in and out. His breath came in short pants. Rachel was rocked by his thrusts, gasping for breath, starting to move with the rhythm... and then she felt Finn shudder, and his face pinched into a tight 'O'.

Rachel held Finn to her as he spasmed with the force of his orgasm.

"Too fast," Finn mumbled, pulling out and leaning back, his breathing slowing. "I'm sorry..."

"It's all right," Rachel said. "Finn?"

Finn gradually stilled. "No it's not," he insisted quietly, guilt evident on his face. He swallowed, then reached towards her again, caressing down her side with slow deep strokes, moving in closely. He lightly kissed the corners of her eyes, kissing away the tears shed from the pain of initial penetration, then lowered his head to slip his tongue inside her mouth to caress hers. Rachel felt her pleasure build again at his touch and made herself relax, closing her eyes and lying back to take in nothing except how Finn was making her feel. Her crotch was throbbing, but she couldn't tell if it was from having him inside her or from him no longer being there.

Soon Finn seemed to be everywhere on her, his lips whispering over her throat, his hands at her breasts and clit, rubbing her into an increasing frenzy, her pleasure soaring, the space between her legs now so empty and needing to feel him again...

"Finn... need you," Rachel begged, nearly incoherent with the strange ache she felt. She whimpered as he disengaged. But it was just for a moment, long enough for him to grab another condom and replace the old with the new, and then his hands and mouth were on her again. He nipped at her pulse point, worrying it until she gasped; his hand traced patterns through her slick folds, thumb rubbing her clit, fingers delving inside her.

"P-please, F-f-finn..." Rachel moaned, then cried out as he entered her again, sliding home. He kept his fingers working her clit as he pumped, able this time to sustain himself and his attention to her. She arched up, her teeth lightly biting his neck as her ecstasy built, then she cried out as her world exploded. She dimly heard her name groaned as Finn shuddered again.

Then she was lying limp, Finn next to her, both catching their breath.

A few moments later he turned to her and caressed her hair and face. "How do you feel?" he asked softly.

"Like you've shattered me into a million pieces and made me new again," Rachel breathed, tears of joy and awe in her eyes. A bit sore, yes, and it stung a little, but even that was wondrous all the same.

Finn smiled uncertainly. "That's good, right?"

"It's wonderful." Rachel turned and looked at Finn, her face square to his. She stroked his hair and traced around his ears, memorizing every detail, sinking so deeply into his eyes that she could drown in them. "I love you."

"I love you too." And then his lips touched hers again, so soft and strong, every touch feeling so right. His arms holding her close to him, the long muscles of his legs against hers. A strong heartbeat pulsing through them both, as if his heart was beating inside her, as maybe it was. One Heart, just like the song.

She blinked back her tears and bit her lip. "Was it everything you wanted?" she asked shyly, hopefully.

He let his head fall back to look at her, stroking her hair, continuing the long stroke down her back. "Everything I've never dared dream about," he whispered. "You're perfect, Rach." She could feel him still vibrating from his orgasm. It reminded her of the feeling of him exploding inside her, of that strange mixture of power and vulnerability it had given her, both opening, trusting, giving, receiving.

"It's like it really was my first time, the way it should be," he mumbled, rolling onto his back. "I wish -"

"Don't," Rachel said, turning over onto him, lying on his chest and looking down at his face. "Don't think about anything that happened before. Nothing matters but this." All the pain of the past, even her stupidity the other night, melted away for her in the persistent glow of that moment. To think of those times was to let them in, to corrupt how they felt now in this sacred intimacy. It could never have been anything other than this, never anyone for her other than Finn.

They dozed off a little in each others' arms, enjoying the afterglow together.

Eventually Finn stretched and got up to turn off the gas for the fireplace. He returned to the couch as Rachel was dressing and helped her zip her dress back up, his hands lingering on her back.

Rachel looked up at him and blushed a little as she saw the mark her teeth had made on his neck when she had come. "This was perfect, Finn. You were perfect. You are."

"A few false starts..." Finn said ruefully.

"That was perfect too," Rachel insisted. "It's our first time and it felt that way. Discovery. And a little fumbling... it sort of told me you're really... mine. Better than your being experienced."

Finn's mouth twitched up. "So you like that I'm not that good at this."

"I hope that my reaction didn't make you think that you're not good," Rachel said, blushing more. She looked up at him shyly. "That was incredible, I've never felt like that before," she admitted.

"What, you've never... yourself?"

"No... I've tried a little, and it felt pretty good, and of course when we make out it does too, but not... like that. Not at all like that." She buried her face into his chest, breathing in his heightened scent. "That was... you were... _amazing_." She exhaled. "And it's even better feeling that this is really new to you too, that I'm the only one who gets to feel like this with you."

"That part certainly is. Most of this, really. Not the, um, actual... for me, but everything else," Finn admitted. "You're right, I've never felt like this before, and I'm really glad about that, that we're sharing this."

"Yes." Rachel smiled up at him. "And as with anything else, we just need to practice."

"Practice...?"

"Well, sure." Rachel surveyed his face, a glint in her eye. "You do want to do this again, right?"

"Uh, yes," Finn blushed, then leaned down to kiss her.

"We'll just have to work out our schedules."

"Calendars?" he teased.

Rachel giggled. "Do you need one?"

"I think we'll be able to remember." He slipped his arm back around her waist. "So..." he whispered hesitantly. "Does this mean... I can touch you now?"

Rachel blushed and nodded, biting her lip. "We don't have to worry anymore about not being able to stop," she murmured. "We don't have to stop... at least not in private."

"Good," Finn said softly, the corner of his mouth turning up. "Because I love touching you."

"So do I," Rachel whispered back. Then she swallowed, pursing her lips. "Finn... I didn't come here for you to take my virginity," Rachel said, looking up at him seriously. "The other night, yes, that was what I was after, and that was wrong and I'm so glad you stopped. I came here - well I came to see how you were doing, I was worried, but I wanted this because I knew I was ready, not just to do it but to start that next stage of our relationship, where we're together like this." She stroked his cheek. "I don't think it could have been like this for me if I wasn't truly ready. And I feel so connected to you right now, it's beyond anything I could have imagined and it's so wonderful."

Finn enfolded her in his arms, hugging her tightly. "Me too, Rach," he said huskily. "And that's what I want too, for us, you and me." They held each other for a while, neither wanting to move. "You could stay over," Finn said after a while. "I don't think Kurt's coming back any time soon. We could go up to my room, to sleep I mean. I can lend you a shirt to wear."

"No, I should go," Rachel said. "I need a good night's sleep with another show tomorrow. And while I'm sure I'm going to love sleeping in your arms, more than just for a little like we've done, it's probably not quite the same sort of sleep."

"Okay," Finn said softly. But he kept his arm around her, and she made no move to break apart from him. "I just don't want you to go. It's hard even to stop touching you."

"I know, same here." Rachel smiled up at him. "Can I borrow a shirt to sleep in anyway?"

"Sure," he grinned. "Wanna come pick one out?"

"I think I'd better not," she demurred. "Not that I don't want to – but I have this feeling that if I go into your room, now, I'm not going to want to leave no matter how much I need to go home. Any will do, maybe something you've lightly worn so it smells like you."

Finn smiled, squeezed her hand, and reluctantly pulled himself away to go upstairs. He returned in a few minutes with one of his McKinley shirts.

"How's this," he asked. "I slept in it last night but it shouldn't be too strong."

Rachel brought it to her face and inhaled, then reached up for a lingering kiss. "A poor substitute for the real thing, but it'll have to do," she said softly. "Thank you."

"Good luck with the show – I mean, break a leg."

Rachel smiled. "I love you."

Finn smiled back, then watched her as she went back to her car and drove off.

* * *

><p>Rachel had always fancied herself a bit psychic, but her connection with Finn felt like something far beyond that, more like they'd now been attuned or imprinted. The next Monday morning, at her locker, she suddenly felt warm and tingly inside; less than a minute later, she felt Finn's arm go around her, his hand clasping her waist. He looked down at her with a soft smile, his face full of love.<p>

"How are you doing?" he asked, still smiling.

"Better now," she said, nestling into his side.

"What, did something go wrong with the show?"

"No, everything went fine, no problems."

"So...?" Finn was puzzled.

"Always better with you than without you," she explained, and they exchanged a quick kiss. "Especially now."

"I've missed you too."

"I'm sorry about the bruise..." Rachel gestured to Finn's neck, where the purple edge of a bruise could be seen peeking past his shirt.

"Don't be, I'm not," Finn replied with a grin. "I like seeing it actually, it's like a medal," he murmured. He bent down to embrace her. "That's better."

"See?" Rachel giggled, one hand in the hair at the back of his neck.

"Yeah."

And every touch, every look since then had affirmed that deepened connection: _We are._

* * *

><p>Rachel felt her body vibrate from the memories of that night, but she still very much missed Finn's touch and presence. Eventually she fell asleep.<p> 


	13. At the Bean

The next day, right after lunch, Finn and Kurt went to the Lima Bean to meet Blaine, Finn following Kurt as he went to his usual table. Kurt slowed on seeing someone else there already talking to Blaine, a tall boy about their age. Finn looked at his brother as he caught up, and he saw the look of hostility on Kurt's face.

"Who's -"

"Sebastian," Kurt spat out. "Just won't stop hanging around." He turned aside briefly to order his coffee.

At the table, Blaine's back was mostly turned towards the door. "Looks like your boy's found himself a big one," Sebastian insinuated with a smirk.

Blaine looked over his shoulder, then laughed. "That's Finn," he said. "Kurt's stepbrother."

"Cozy."

"It's not like that," Blaine smiled. "And you would have seen Finn at Sectionals."

"Oh yes." Sebastian eyed the approaching pair speculatively. "Voice wasn't bad. Looks good in a suit, not so much right now but he's got potential."

Blaine snorted, amused by Sebastian's attempted innuendo. "Don't waste your time."

Sebastian raised his eyebrow. "Confirmed straight? Seriously involved?"

"Rachel."

"Oho, so Tony and Maria hooked themselves a pair of brothers. Tight group."

"We like it." Blaine rose as Kurt and Finn approached the table, and Sebastian followed suit.

"Sebastian," Sebastian said, holding his hand out to Finn.

"Finn." Finn shook the proffered hand briefly, still not sure what to make of this strange guy and especially of Kurt's negative reaction.

"Well I hear you three have a little music to discuss, so don't let me intrude," Sebastian said cheerily. "Kurt," he nodded as he passed them by, ignoring Kurt's frown.

Kurt fetched his coffee, then rejoined Finn and Blaine at the table.

"Good Christmas?" Blaine asked Finn.

"Yeah, the best," Finn grinned. "So far." He paused as Kurt sat down with them. "So you two are coming to Brittany's for New Year's, right? Want to help out with the band?"

"Yeah sure," Blaine said. "You're doing hard rock mostly, though, right?"

"Yeah," Finn said, nodding. "Stuff we wouldn't usually do in Glee. But we're thin on vocals."

"That's hard to believe, between you and Artie and Puck I would have thought you had it covered," Kurt put in.

"If we weren't playing. Usually in Glee we have the Jazz Band backing us up. But we want to play, and these numbers really push that, so it's hard to get much depth on the vocals. Sure people will join in but we need more singers, and we hoped you two would help out."

"And you couldn't talk to me about this at home because...?" Kurt asked.

Finn frowned at his stepbrother. "You know why. You'd say no because it's not your kind of music. I hoped that if I talked to you together you could work something out."

Blaine looked thoughtful. "Do you take requests?"

"If you pick a piece that's the same sort of thing we're doing, we could add it in," Finn replied. "As long as it's soon, like before practice tomorrow night."

"Hmm," Blaine responded. "How many songs are you doing?"

"No more than eight total, but we've got most of them covered. Probably in two sets, and I figure since we have the instruments there some of the others will improv other things anyway. Pretty sure Brittany and Santana have something planned of their own, too. But the drumming's still tiring, and I don't want to be too tired to enjoy the rest of the party, 'specially since Rachel's gonna be back."

"You're not seriously planning to -" Kurt accused.

"No, of course not," Finn brushed off the implied suggestion. "Not with us staying over at Brittany's. But I don't want to flake out on her either."

"Do you think her dads will still let her come?" Kurt asked.

"Why wouldn't they?" Blaine was puzzled.

Kurt looked over at Finn, who shrugged resignedly. "Loverboy here stayed over Christmas night but her dads arrived back a little early the next morning."

"Oh, _that_ kind of good Christmas," Blaine grinned.

Finn failed to suppress an answering grin. "Yeah. But her dads are not happy. She's really determined to get her own way, though, so I'm hoping she'll still make it to Brittany's." He smiled sheepishly. "Kinda hoping to show off a bit with some of the drumming."

"Well a determined Rachel usually means 'get out of the way'. And her dads are the ones she's practiced on the most," Kurt said. "So let's assume she'll be there."

"Well I'm in," Blaine said. "I'll try to find a number to add, though, if that's okay."

"Sure. How about you, Kurt?" Finn asked. "We've got a song that really needs your voice."

"No, I am not helping you do more Rush," Kurt said.

"I thought you were good in 'The Trees'," Blaine commented, looking encouragingly at his boyfriend. "You have a great voice for it."

"It's not that," Finn replied, annoyed at Kurt's negative tone. "Puck wants to try one of the instrumentals anyway, and the drumming's killer. No, it's this." He put a piece of sheet music on the table between Kurt and Blaine. "With Puck and Artie on guitar it just needs the right vocals."

"Not my kind of music." Kurt was dismissive.

"Hey, not so fast," Blaine said, looking at the music. "Some diversity in style wouldn't kill you. And it's perfect for your voice."

"Yeah, give it a shot," Finn said. "Besides, I kinda thought you could sing the high slow stuff here, and here," he said, pointing to the music and turning the page, "I'll join in for the repeat here, and Blaine would come in on the faster stuff, with him and maybe Sam helping you out for the chorus if he makes it back in time. The drum part's tough so I can't sing much." He looked encouragingly at his stepbrother. "I think you'll like it if you give it a try, you know, branch out a little."

"Hmph," Kurt responded, then excused himself to go to the washroom.

"Thanks, dude," Finn said, nodding to Blaine. "He'll probably come around."

"No problem. I'd like to hear him sing more anyway, and he would be great on that number."

"So who's that Sebastian guy?"

Blaine blushed a little. "Just this new guy at Dalton," he said with a shrug and a slight smile. "He's been kind of chasing after me. No big deal."

"Ah. Feels good, doesn't it?" Finn's rhetorical question was unexpected. "Being chased by some hot, uh, whatever you're into, I mean."

"Yeah, sure," Blaine said with a smile. "Of course I've told him flat-out I'm with Kurt, that I'd never want to do anything that could hurt Kurt, but Sebastian still keeps hanging around," he continued with an amused shrug.

"Have you told him you're not interested? Directly?"

"Ah, no," Blaine replied, suddenly self-conscious. "Not exactly."

"Didn't think so," Finn commented. "Yeah, I've been there. Didn't like how it worked out, though."

"What do you mean?"

"Sure, it's great being in demand, gives you a nice warm big-man feeling. Really good for the ego, right?" Finn nodded with a smile at Blaine. "But it's easy to stop taking proper care of who you should. It's not what you say, it's what you do. For me, uh," he exhaled. "I let it get to my head, next thing I know Rachel's with St. Jackass, I do something stupid to convince myself I don't need her, she finds out eventually, I get defensive, she hits back..." Finn groaned. "Total mess. Hell, you were there to see some of it. One bad thing led to another and then she's crying, I'm too hurt to see straight and it took us months after the final fallout – over a year after I first took her for granted – to put the pieces back together."

Blaine shifted, a little uncomfortable at this confession.

"Lucky for Rachel and me our connection was strong enough to pull us back together after all that," Finn said. "We're stronger for surviving all we put each other through, but it was still hell and none of what we did was remotely worth it."

Blaine looked soberly back at Finn. "Thanks, Finn," he said. "I mean it, it's good to know how these things can go. I'll keep that in mind."

"No problem, dude."

"We're okay now, aren't we," Blaine said. "I mean we've worked out our issues. It's good, I like us getting along."

"Yeah, basically," Finn said. "Mostly it was me being an ass anyway."

"I didn't exactly help," Blaine admitted. "I was used to being the center of things with the Warblers. And Artie filled me in on how New Directions got going – there wouldn't still be a glee club without you. It's kind of your club."

"_Our_ club," Finn stressed. "That's how we won Sectionals, even without Rachel and against the Troubletones, and that's how we'll keep winning now that we're back together. I'm still not going to like it when it's you instead of me singing with Rachel, but I'll try to deal with it better."

"Good, I appreciate that."

Finn looked seriously at Blaine. "You hurt my brother, all bets are off."

"Uhh..." Blaine swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. "Right." He blinked diffidently. "I, uh, I would never," he stammered. "I love Kurt."

"Good."

"Good what?" asked Kurt, coming up behind Blaine.

"Good that you two are doing well together," Finn said, opting for something close to the truth. The uncomfortable moment was broken by the unmistakeable sound of a Doors drum intro coming from his pocket. "Sorry, that's Rachel," he said, turning away a little to answer it.

"Well we're headed to the music store, see you later," Kurt said.

Finn nodded goodbye at Kurt and Blaine, then put his full attention on the call. "Hey Rach, how's your Hanukkah going?"

"Pretty good," Rachel replied, her voice happy. "It's ending tonight. The last day is a big deal, so I've been making doughnuts all morning, and I'm going to be busy this evening so I thought I'd call now."

"Doughnuts, huh?"

"They're traditional. Which unfortunately means that no, there will not be any left worth eating by the time I come back. I could always make some more, though."

"You spoil me," Finn said, grinning.

"I'm trying. Speaking of trying, I'm going to sit down with my dads this afternoon – today is supposed to be a particularly good day to have one's prayers heard, and while this isn't quite the same thing, I hope they'll at least listen to me talk about you. And we're watching _Fiddler_ later, which directly correlates."

"Do you think you'll be able to make Brittany's party?"

"They did say I could before. Even if they're still a bit stunned I hope they'll understand how futile it is for them to try to control me, especially at this stage. I'm seventeen and I'm moving to New York next fall, and they knew that was coming even if they didn't know about our activities. I'm not a child that has to be protected. And the idea of them needing to protect me from _you_ is so ludicrous it's hard to take their concerns seriously."

"What, I couldn't take advantage of you?" Finn wasn't sure he shouldn't be a little offended at being characterized as 'too nice to be dangerous' or whatever.

"I'm sure you could, but you don't. At least not any more than I want you to." Rachel giggled. "Which admittedly isn't that limiting these days."

Finn smiled. "Guess not."

"I have to go, it's almost time for lunch here. But we should be able to have a nice long call tomorrow night, if you're free after your practice."

"We should be done with the band by ten, we're at Artie's and his dad pulls the plug about then. Is that too late for you?"

"Well that's only nine my time, so that's fine. Maybe I can call ten-thirty your time? I'll go to bed early so we don't have any interruptions."

"Sounds great." _A nice long bedtime chat – oh yeah. This could be fun._

"Wonderful. Love you."

"Love you too."

Finn hung up and made for the cafe's exit, but was startled to hear his name called out behind him.

"Finn?" He looked back to see who was calling him, and was surprised to see Shelby Corcoran. She motioned him to join her as she sat down at a nearby table. "I was hoping to run into one of your group here. Glad it's you."

"Uh, Ms. Corcoran?" Finn was startled and looked down briefly at his girlfriend's birth mother.

"Don't worry, Finn, I don't bite," she said. "Sit, please."

Finn reluctantly sat in the chair she offered. "Uh, Happy Hanukkah," he said, remembering that Rachel had told him her birth mother was also Jewish.

She inclined her head to him with a slight smile. "Thank you."

"So what do you want?" he asked slowly.

"I've been packing up my things and I found something you should have," she said. "All of you, I mean. Though I'm glad to get a chance to talk to you, specifically."

_Why me?_ wondered Finn. _Is it about Rachel, or Puck, or..._ He exhaled, still befuddled. "If it's about Rachel I can't help you," he said. "She's been really confused about you and how you've been with her."

"I know that," Shelby said. "I admit I haven't been very consistent, and I know that's hurt her. I just wanted so badly to be back in her life before I really knew what I would do once I got there," she admitted with a self-conscious smile.

"The thing with Puck hasn't helped," Finn said. "I know they didn't go out long and only kissed, but it's still awkward for her with us all being friends." He downplayed their past situation; no need for her to know about what happened last year, or the jealousy he'd felt originally at having to stay with pregnant Quinn while his friend romanced the girl he really wanted. Worse still when he discovered their positions should have been reversed.

Shelby was in shock. "What – you mean Noah dated Rachel before? Oh my God." She closed her eyes, breathed deeply, then opened them again. "Seems like I made a bigger mess than I knew."

"Well, Puck says she just wished he was me," Finn said. "And it was a long time ago. But she's with me and he's been my friend since we were kids, so yeah, you and him makes it all pretty twisted."

_Last year we were like Fleetwood Mac,_ he thought. _This year it's the Rolling Stones._

"It's not a thing anyway," Shelby said. "Noah and myself, I mean. Sometimes when people love the same thing it's easy for them to get confused about each other," she explained. "It was really all about Beth."

_And let's not even get into that I once thought Beth was mine... _Finn thought. "Whatever," he said. "Makes sense, I guess." He searched his brain rapidly to try to find an excuse to leave.

"Yes," Shelby said. "I don't know why I'm telling you this," she went on. "I suppose I just don't want you thinking too badly of me about it." She looked oddly at Finn, who was mostly looking at the table. "Do you have a problem with me, though?" she asked. "You're not really looking at me."

"No, I don't worry about that stuff," Finn said. "Just – you look a lot like her. Rachel. I look at you, I see her, kind of, in 25 years. Only, you know, taller. It's weird." _But it makes it harder to get why you reject her - how could any kind of mother do that?_

"22," Shelby said quietly. "It's 22 years." Finn shrugged. "I know what you mean, though. When I see you and her – I see the past, what could have been. If I'd had someone like you in my life. It's like she's getting the chance I never could, or that I made a mess of. "And," she went on, meeting Finn's raised eyes, "I'm really happy for her and proud of her, but at the same time I'm jealous that I didn't have that myself."

"Uh, okay." Finn was clearly uncomfortable at her candidness. _What? She's jealous that Rachel has me? What am I supposed to say to that?_

"Never mind," Shelby said. "That's not why I wanted to talk to you anyway."

"Oh." _Thank God. So what does she want, especially with me?_

Shelby leaned forward, putting a DVD case on the table between them. "You know with show choir that only the showcases at Nationals are formally released," she said. "Of course there are bootlegs on YouTube, but the quality isn't very good."

"Uh, yeah," Finn said. _Whiplash..._

"But almost all competitions are properly recorded by someone," she went on. "Usually it's the hosts like for Sectionals at McKinley. Nationals, too. You just have to know who to talk to, and I do." She gestured at the disc. "I started collecting these two years ago," she explained. "It's all your competitions for two years, up to Nationals last year, high-quality video and audio. I also have this year's Sectionals but of course so do all of you."

Finn took the case and turned it over in his hands, seeing 'New Directions' written on the disc. "Wow. Thanks, that's really great," he said. "We don't have most of these... especially our original stuff from Regionals last year, we don't have recordings of that at all. And Nationals, yeah, the quality wasn't great." _Not that I haven't watched part of it a lot anyway._

"I thought you'd like it. Of course I got them because of Rachel," she admitted. "But I was really impressed with the rest of you as well. You wrote that duet, didn't you?"

"Uh, yeah," Finn said. _Well everyone's seen the kiss by now, I guess it's not a big deal that she has too._

"It was good," said Shelby. "I don't know if you're still writing but that was a really good start. Of course you shouldn't have gotten carried away in performance but that's always a danger when the material is so personal."

"I guess so," he replied. _Kind of like what Rachel said about being an artist._ He turned the case over in his hands again. "It'll be good to hear a good recording. Though I guess I should expect the rest of the club to give us a hard time about it again."

"Performances happen. They need to get over it."

_We don't want to get over that one._ Oh yeah, he was definitely interested in watching a high-quality version of that. "Yeah, well, we did kind of lose ourselves in the moment. Or find ourselves, actually."

"I can see that," Shelby said with a smile. "And she's hard to resist when she performs, I can see it in all of them. The first is the most special for me, though. From the moment she came into that auditorium and started singing 'Don't Rain on My Parade', I knew she was the girl I'd been looking for. It hit me like I'd been struck by lightning. I have Beth now, but I'll always keep these shows so I can see my first little girl."

"Is that really how you think of her?" Finn was stunned, and asked his question harshly.

"Of course. Why would you think I didn't?"

"Well, you haven't even asked me how she's doing."

Shelby frowned. "I know she's away. I was going to give a copy to her fathers."

"I was talking to her just now, while you were lying in wait. And I know everyone can tell when I do." Finn pushed back from the table, exasperated. Sure it was great to get the recordings, but he'd had to deal with what this woman's rejection had done to Rachel's self-esteem, and he'd had enough of her mind-games. "I just don't get it," he said. "I don't see how you can care for Rachel, at all, and do what you've done to her. You gave her up, you pushed your way back into her life just to walk away and get a cute blond baby instead, you come back after more than a year and mostly ignore her, and then there's what you let everyone else do." He glared at Shelby, who looked defensive. "Those tires? That was payback for what your precious show choir did to 'your little girl', though what they followed it up with was even worse. But hey, that was just business as usual for Vocal Adrenaline, wasn't it? And you set Jesse on her, she really thought he cared about her and he used her and tried to get with her -"

"What?" Shelby interrupted Finn's rant, putting her hand on his arm to get his attention. "To _get_ with her? What do you mean by that?"

"Well you sent him to her, right? And they'd known each other maybe two weeks tops when he's pressuring her to sleep with him. So -"

"What?" Shelby screamed involuntarily, then gasped. "What?" she repeated, more softly. "He wasn't supposed to do any of that. I asked him to get to know her, to plant a tape so she'd hear my voice, to affect her the same way hearing her voice affected me, you can't understand the _need_ that her performance sparked in me... oh my God." Shelby buried her face in her hands. "Why would he do that, did he have problems with me he was taking out on her? My little girl." Her shoulders heaved, and she started to cry. "My sweet little girl. How does she not hate me?"

_Beats me._ "She didn't do it," Finn said lamely. "She said she did at first, but she didn't. He was going to though."

Shelby brought her head up to look at him hopefully, tears still in her eyes. "She didn't?"

"No."

"How can you know? She loves you, I know that, would she tell you?"

"We're really honest with each other, she'd tell me the truth," Finn said. "And... there was a lot of fallout. She'd've acted differently if she had."

"But you said she said she had at first..." Shelby trailed off, wiping her eyes. "I had nothing to do with that, you must believe me, Finn," she insisted. "I know Jesse said he liked her, and I wasn't happy with that or how he got closer to her and then turned on her, but to use her like that..." she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them again. "I have to know the worst. It's all my fault if it happened."

_Plenty of blame to go around,_ Finn thought. _And it's all long past now._

"Finn? I need to know. Bad enough that I pushed him at her, and he tried that, but - I need to know if it was worse. He was eighteen, she was _fifteen_, that's statutory - God, I can't say it." Shelby pressed her hands to her face, then removed them after a few moments. She took a deep breath again and looked straight at Finn. "I don't want to make you doubt her, but – are you sure she didn't?"

_Completely. But I am not going to tell her about __**that**__._ Finn clenched his jaw and tried to look a little less like a deer in the headlights. "I've told you what she told me, and she wouldn't have lied." He swallowed. "I need to go. Thanks for the DVD, it means a lot. I'll pass it around to the others." He rose to go. As he stepped away from the table he looked over his shoulder and saw Shelby, sitting dejected and staring at the table, reminding him so much of Rachel that he couldn't help but be moved, despite his dislike for how she'd treated the girl he loved. He took a step back, leaned down, and said softly: "Yes I'm sure." Finn walked away, not looking back again.


	14. The Way We Were

Once Finn got back home, he went up to his room to take a look at the recordings that Shelby Corcoran had given him. It had everything she'd said: Sectionals 2009 and 2010, Regionals 2010 and 2011, and Nationals 2011. He convinced himself to look at them chronologically, so he'd finish with the one he really wanted, Nationals.

The stress that he'd built up in his talk with Shelby dissipated quickly when he started watching their Sectionals 2009 show. It was a very good quality recording, even though the camera had had a little trouble following Rachel as she made her way through the audience. But Finn was transfixed, his heart swelling with pride and awe at what she had pulled off, performing that solo with almost no warning. Sure she'd been singing it for herself for years, but he knew the difference between that and performing, and she was lit up, giving it all she had, taking her chance just like he'd told her to.

So beautiful then, though she was even more beautiful now, she'd grown into herself. Finn briefly wondered if it was a bit creepy for him at eighteen to be drooling over the image of a girl just under fifteen, but he'd loved her then too, even though he hadn't figured that out at the time. And it wasn't her body he was looking at – much – but her face, her energy, and her smile. And he'd always loved her voice.

_I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer_

Finn grinned at hearing the line Rachel liked to quote to refer to him. And a good recording too, he should clip that line out and use it for something. Then she was on stage with the rest of the club making their way up to join her, and – God, they were all so young. There he was himself, fiddling with his tie, and yeah he was already so tall, but still, he was a kid then too. Wow. And he couldn't help but smile at the obvious joy in her voice and face as she introduced the club.

His smile turned into a grin at the brash young giant that strode from the back singing 'You Can't Always Get What You Want'. He looked really happy, up there performing, even though his world at the time had been in shreds. Yeah the choreo was kinda rough, but it wasn't as bad as it had felt at the time, not bad at all for a half-hour's work when they weren't anywhere as good with the basics as they were now. And he was proud of what he'd done, come through for the team when they needed him even when all he really wanted to do was scream at the sky and punch the face off his then ex-best-friend. Proud too that he'd been able to put it behind him eventually and get his crazy friendship with Puck back.

Finally, 'Somebody to Love', since they'd performed it before – and asking a stupid question, really, she'd been right there. He started singing along under his breath, looking at her and occasionally at himself when he was with her, holding her hand. What he'd tell himself then if he could, to hold onto that girl next to him with everything he had. _There she is, Hudson, just what you're looking for, what you need. But we made it, we're here now._

Shelby had included the awarding of the trophies, so he got a chance to see everyone all happy at pulling off their first victory, and himself hugging Rachel in celebration.

Regionals next. He was excited to watch that, but paused for a moment first to quietly say "I love you." Even though he hadn't been able to understand then the enormity of what he'd felt, it had been true then and was even more true now. _Could something be more true? Wasn't it either true or not? Anyway, true._ And there that big kid came again. He sounded pretty good, and he looked really happy, especially when Rachel came out to join him. They'd meant those words, even more than they knew at the time, even if they'd screwed up with what they'd done in the next year, they'd still meant it then and it had been true as well. Even when apart, they'd still really belonged to each other.

_Right down the line it's been you and me. _

It had been just a song, not a vow, but - still. He sang along to the end.

_I'm forever yours, faithfully._

The mashup was kind of biographical too, even though they hadn't gotten to the 'it's tearing me apart' bit by then. But 'then we touched, then we sang' – oh yeah. And he grinned at the choreo, remembering he'd had a hard time – literally – practicing the part where she put her hands all over him. He'd also deliberately messed up his cue right after a few times so they'd have to go through it again. Still, the moves were pretty crisp so maybe he'd used that rehearsal well by accident.

Then 'Don't Stop', the number that had started it all, with the original six leading off. And they all looked so alive.

Next had been Sectionals 2010, but Finn stopped himself before clicking on it. That had been hell itself, and he really didn't want to remember that time and those people. He certainly didn't want to remember himself then, too busy being defensive about his screwup to notice how much Rachel was hurt. And he definitely didn't want to see Santana's lead with her at her absolute worst and most spiteful, having invaded Rachel's world and taken the only things Rachel valued, just because she could. God, Santana had been such a vicious mess then, so twisted in on herself, striking out at a girl who'd done nothing to her, and he'd enabled it with his own stupidity. This was what he'd been thinking about when he'd warned Blaine about needing to take care of the people you should, Rachel had needed him and he'd done nothing. Thank God they'd all been able to stop being the people they'd been then.

Screw it, he was never watching that. He had to watch the next one though, Regionals 2011, since Rachel's song had been for him. He steeled himself and opened it. And looked, and sighed. So beautiful, so strong and yet so fragile. His Rachel. And yeah, that girl he saw was his all right. He wondered if he'd have straightened his own feelings out sooner if he'd seen her like this, the camera zooming in close on her face, instead of watching from the wings. The resolution was good enough that he could see the tears in her eyes, and there she is looking off to the side at that big fool who's already forgiven her but is too mixed up about love right now to know what he feels and what to do. _Here's a hint, Hudson: go for the girl who doesn't follow up 'we should be together' with 'and we'll rule the school'._ But Finn didn't have many thoughts for his younger self, he was too entranced by Rachel and poleaxed by seeing her heart breaking over him. _Just one more time,_ he thought, tearing up as he listened to her and watched her. _That's how many times it takes, baby, just hold on and we'll get there. He's mixed up but he does love you and he'll figure it out. _He'd ease her pain if he could. God, if she was here he'd wrap himself around her right now and hold her until his arms went numb. And then he smiled as they started the group number and she lit up, really beaming. The rest of them had written 'Loser Like Me' but she was the one who'd brought it to life. His younger self hadn't been a total idiot then either, and he was once more glad that he'd been able to convince Mr. Schue and the others about the MVP award, starting to show her that she really was loved and appreciated.

Regionals over, Finn paused, breathing deeply, preparing himself to watch Nationals. He remembered how it felt to be at Jean's funeral, listening to Mr. Schue read Coach Sylvester's words, and knowing what they meant for him. Feeling that truth inside himself, that he was tethered to Rachel and needed her like he needed air, and that he could give her the love she needed if only she'd still let him. And then they'd had a great date in New York, she'd been happy and so had he, but she'd pulled away, and... Finn opened the Nationals file.

_Face to face and heart to heart_

Words are simple, the harmony's good, and – Finn saw the look in his own eyes. He'd watched this a lot on YouTube before, but this copy was much sharper and he could really see his feelings on his own face. And unlike the earlier shows, he felt this guy was really him. He'd figured things out, he knew what he needed, and right then he was completely desperate for it. For her. He'd seen more subtle stalking done by ravenous hyenas in those nature movies they used to show in middle school science class, he was chasing her down physically and emotionally. And he could see the look in her eyes too, and yes she loved him but she was scared. His breath started to shorten, blood pumping with the memory of all that need he felt then, hell he still felt it now even though she was definitely his. This time he wasn't losing that feeling of needing her just because he had her, this time they were getting it right. Then – he looked at the screen, at himself closing in on Rachel, at them coming together, their voices meshing, hearing the blood pound in his ears now as he had then, the world slowing down as he'd lowered his head to her and found her rising to meet him...

And as Finn watched them kiss he could feel it still, feel her mouth against his, taste her, smell her scent, feel the blood rushing south the way it always did when her mouth touched him, the electricity of the initial touch and the smouldering burn turning into a raging fire... and damn this video was good because he could actually see his mouth working away as he'd lost himself in the moment and in her. He should grab some stills of this, maybe from right after... hell, yes they were in love, how they were looking at each other. And the angle was good too since it hid his physical reaction, he'd had to think some very cold thoughts on his way to the back of the formation. But right then all he'd been able to think about was her, and she'd felt the same way about him, and... God, how he missed her and needed her and loved her, every adorable crazy sexy inch of her.

Finn paused the video on them, looking stunned at each other, and closed his eyes. His blood was still hammering, and if he'd had this much of a hard-on back then no angle would have hidden it and his limited dancing skills would have been completely gone. He groaned, leaning back in his chair, letting his hand fall into his lap. His mind filled with thoughts of Rachel, starting with that stunning kiss. Yeah that one kiss had been worth losing the competition over, but that one kiss had also led to a whole lot of other kisses. He'd kissed her possessively in the library, elated to hear her agree with him that their kiss had been worth it, that not only was she not mad at him but she valued him more than the championship they'd been working toward for two years. And reunited, their kisses were better, the making out hotter, both of them more sure of what they wanted and completely willing to be honest with each other about it.

He found himself twitching against his hand, and quickly lost himself in memories of Rachel, laughing and smiling with Rachel, Rachel's sweet hot mouth on his, Rachel's body under his hands, Rachel's hands touching him...

* * *

><p>They'd been in her room after school in late September, and as usual the study session had turned into some very heavy making out. He'd teased her a little by getting a few questions deliberately wrong, which more than paid off when he'd 'finally' gotten them right and she could feel they'd earned a break. After some extremely passionate kisses, she'd climbed into his lap, her short narrow skirt riding up as she straddled him, pressing as close to him as she could. His hands traveled up her legs as she ground into him, and the feel of her soft skin, the taste of her mouth, and her friction against his groin made an incredible combination.<p>

His penis was hard and throbbing so much that he could hardly hear Rachel's moans, though he could certainly feel them. He cupped her ass, kneading it in reflex, trying to shift her a little to ease some of the pressure. His hand slipped close to her crotch and he felt her wetness, which almost sent him over the edge. The mailman image wasn't helping at all.

"Rach, babe, sorry – I have to -" Finn scrambled her awkwardly off his lap and raced into her bathroom, shoving the door to behind him. The urge, the pressure, was too strong to stop.

"Finn, oh – what's wrong?" Finn heard Rachel's worried and hurt voice behind him as he quickly flipped up the toilet lid, then unzipped his fly and took out his engorged dick. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, Rach, you're amazing," Finn gasped as he started to rub himself, trying to quickly bring himself to his release. He had to blow or he'd never be able to go back and touch her again.

"Then what's wrong? Tell me, please Finn. I need to know. Can I help you, or -" Rachel protested through the door.

"You can't, baby," Finn called out. He let out a groan as he felt the pressure building further. "I just want you so much."

"I'm here, what is it?" Rachel pleaded in her confusion.

"It's just too much, I can't hold back -" Finn moaned. _Close._

"_Oh._" Realization dawned for Rachel. "Oh, Finn. I -" she cut herself off.

Finn gripped his cock tightly and moved, up and down, up and down. _Almost._

"Let me help." Finn turned to see that the door had swung open and Rachel had entered. Momentary panic set in at her seeing him like this, standing over her toilet holding himself, the agony of his hard-on etched on his face. But she came up to him and put her hand next to his, taking hold of his erection as she met his eyes. "Show me how," Rachel commanded.

Finn gulped, moving his hand a little, feeling hers follow his. Then her other hand tentatively touched his tip. Even the fact that she was touching him like this blew his mind, and it wasn't long before he blew completely. He lowered his head to her shoulder to muffle his cry as he came, shuddering under her touch, his semen pooling in her hand. He collapsed with his arms around Rachel, burying his face in her hair. "Thank you," he mumbled. He breathed in her scent, that smell that was undefinably and completely _Rachel_, laced with something extra, musky and sweet, that in remembering it later he'd realized was from her arousal.

It had been really hot – but still he was embarrassed, and he cleaned himself off quickly and zipped himself back up. He stole a glance over at Rachel, who'd washed her hands off, but her expression was unreadable. They spoke simultaneously.

"I'm sorry -"

"Why didn't -"

"You first," Finn said.

"You could have told me, you know," Rachel said. She blushed. "That you react like this. I mean I've felt you, I always do, but I didn't know you needed... relief. So badly."

"Just – you really get me going," Finn answered. "I don't want you to stop, 'cause it's great, and I especially don't want you to feel pressured into anything."

"I -" Rachel tried to say something.

"It's okay that you're not ready. You're worth the wait, Rach." He took her face in his hands and kissed her softly. "You just get me going and I have to deal with it."

"Does – does this happen a lot?"

"Well any time I've suddenly broken off making out with you, yeah, that was probably it," Finn admitted. "I'm sorry if you thought something was wrong, like I didn't want you or something. More like I want you too much, my body takes over and I can't stop no matter how hard I try to think of something else. I've gotten a lot more self-control but sometimes, still, you're just way too hot and making out with you is so amazing."

"Wow," she breathed.

"Do you remember when we first kissed?" Finn asked sheepishly.

"In the auditorium?" Rachel was puzzled. "Of course I do." She thought about it for a moment, then gasped. "You mean – that was like this? Why you panicked and ran off?"

"Yeah, a bit like this." He reddened more. "I just couldn't hold back. At all." _Just kissing, fully dressed, trying to stop myself... and I still came so hard. Should've realized then what I figured out a year and a half later, she's the only one I really want._

"Oh." Rachel sighed with a smile. "So you wanted me, even then," she said.

"Oh yeah. Always, Rach." He stroked her hair and looked deeply into her eyes. "I've always wanted you. And when we're like this, you turn me on so much, I just want to bury myself in you -" He broke off and gave a shy half-smile. "Not 'berry' like Rachel Berry, 'bury' like make a hole and put something in -" he turned completely red and cringed at his words. "Oh God, I sound like such a creep, putting it that way. I'm so sorry."

"It's all right." She turned his head to look at her again. "It's not creepy. A little literal, but not creepy." She smiled shyly at him. "And I want you too. It's not as physically obvious, but I do, even if I'm not quite ready yet to go farther. Please don't feel you need to hide this from me, what girl doesn't want to know how much her guy wants her?"

_Quinn didn't_, Finn thought, then told himself off for even bothering to compare them. _Rachel's so much more real. And yeah Quinn got me hot but never like Rachel does, even in that first kiss. _Finn took a deep breath. _She didn't freak out..._ he thought. "I don't expect anything," he said sincerely, looking into her eyes. "I'd never push you to do anything you weren't comfortable with. But..." He reddened and lowered his head. "You know you can touch me if you want to," he finished huskily.

At the time she'd just blushed in return and given him a light kiss. But a week later they'd been at it again, in his room this time, bodies pressed passionately against each other as their tongues intertwined, and she'd suddenly whispered "I want to" before sliding her hand down the front of his pants. He'd come right then and there, but it had been totally worth the mess.

* * *

><p>The memory helped Finn finish himself off, and it felt better than usual, more than just mechanical, like he could feel the echo of Rachel's hands. Once he was finished, he snuck out to the bathroom and cleaned himself off more, glad that nobody else was home. Returning to his room from the bathroom, though, he was shocked to see Kurt standing by his desk.<p>

"Expanded your porn collection?" his stepbrother asked pointedly, tapping at the empty DVD case.

"No," Finn answered by reflex, embarrassed. "what are you doing here, anyway? I thought the house was empty. Shouldn't you still be at the music store with Blaine or something?"

"We had creative differences and decided to meet up later," Kurt said. "So I thought I'd ask you if I could hear that piece you wanted me to sing on, but – I ended up hearing something else entirely. Nice A, by the way."

"For someone who says he doesn't want to know these things you sure comment on them a lot," Finn protested. "Wouldn't it be easier to, I don't know, just pretend it's not happening?"

Kurt frowned. "Maybe," he admitted. "But if I'm going to have to endure it I deserve to get some amusement out of it. I mean, Rachel is at her uncle's in Chicago, so I figure the house might finally be livable in, and yet as soon as I step in the door I still hear you screaming her name."

_Did I? Guess so_, Finn thought. He tried to change the subject. "Actually you should take a look at this," he said, reopening the video he'd been watching.

"Not into girls, thanks all the same."

"No, it's not like that – Shelby, Ms. Corcoran, gave me this," Finn tried to explain.

Kurt was aghast. "You were fondling yourself to a video your girlfriend's _mother_ gave you? You're right, Finn, I really don't need to know about these things."

"It's not like that!" Finn repeated himself, more agitated. "This is of us, New Directions I mean. She's been keeping a collection of our performances, because of Rachel."

"Wait – she got recordings of our competitions?" Kurt was interested enough to drop his needling of his stepbrother.

"Yeah, they're all properly recorded, high-quality, you just need to know who to talk to to get them she said," Finn replied. "Anyway, I'm going to make copies for everyone. We've never seen these performances properly, and the original songs from Regionals last year never got recorded at all. Same with the first Sectionals."

"Wow. Sure, let's take a look," Kurt said. He watched as Finn restarted the one he'd been watching, their performance from Nationals. "Figures," he muttered under his breath.

"Well I did write it."

"We both know that's not why you look at it."

"So what?" Finn protested.

"Nothing, I suppose it's kind of sweet really. Let's skip ahead to the group number. Did she have the Warblers performances as well?" Kurt asked.

Finn smirked a bit. "It's not on what she gave me, but you might be able to ask her," he replied. "If she doesn't have it I'm sure she'll know how to get it. I think she's leaving town though."

"Mr. Schue probably has her email," Kurt said. "I'll see if I can get hold of them somehow."

"Just let me know when you have them," Finn said. "So _I_ can put in _my_ earplugs."


	15. Tell Me

_A/N: It's almost time to reunite our young lovers, but here's one more talk they need to have first._  
><em>Much thanks to all of you who have alerted, favorited, and reviewed the story; it's wonderful to know that you're enjoying what I'm writing. - All the best, Henrietta Line.<em>

* * *

><p>The next night found Rachel alone in the guest room where she was staying in her uncle's basement, carefully checking the time. Things had gone very well in the last two days, and having a hopefully leisurely conversation with Finn was going to make it all even better.<p>

She had talked to her dads the previous day, and she thought they'd started to understand what she was saying. They'd certainly listened. She'd unrolled her history with Finn and before Finn a great deal, which had been emotionally hard on her to go through – thinking of how lonely she'd been before she'd met him had been hard even before she'd tried to explain it to her dads. Loneliness had bred selfishness which had led to even more loneliness, and it had taken this wonderful nice handsome boy, who'd told her she was cool and he liked her, and who'd needed her support, to break through the walls she'd constructed for so long. Loving Finn made her a better and happier person, and the closer they became the better she became at dealing with everything else too. The idea of moving on from Finn didn't bear thinking about.

She'd also reassured them that performing was essential for her; whether in New York or not, she was always going to have to perform. Performing helped her tap into her feelings and understand herself, she wasn't really herself without it. Her epiphany on the 'Wicked' stage hadn't been wrong, but it had been incomplete, as she'd discovered the next day at Nationals. She understood herself better when she performed, Finn expressed himself better when he performed, and their duet had put that all together to show her just how profound their connection was. She'd tried to carefully explain that to them, in the hopes that they'd finally understand that the kiss had been right for her, however unprofessional it may have been. Her deeper connection to her feelings when performing was also why things had worked out for the best around West Side Story, though she hadn't explained that to her dads. In complete opposition to what she'd initially tried, she hadn't needed to be intimate with Finn to play Maria – playing Maria had helped her connect with her existing deep need to be intimate with Finn and trust that feeling. She'd walked off that stage craving him, needing to turn those feelings into reality, and reality had proven to be even better.

And she craved him now, the sound of his voice if that was all she could have (and she'd always loved his voice). She'd been good, spending the rest of the previous day and all of that day with her extended family, and once her dads had heard her out she'd gone back to being her usual chatty self and had a lovely time talking to her cousins and entertaining some of their kids. They'd all gone back to their own homes now, leaving her and her dads there with her uncle and aunt, and as the evening wound down she'd had no trouble excusing herself a little early.

Rachel got ready for bed, putting on what she considered to be a Finn-friendly set of pyjamas: a medium blue tank top and matching blue-and-white plaid pyjama pants. Comfy. She considered putting her hair in pigtails, but opted for 'sexy' rather than 'cute', and snapped some pictures of herself reclining on the bed. She picked the best to send to Finn, attached to the message "Ready."

About ten minutes later she got a reply, and she sighed happily at the picture of Finn in his sleep shirt and shorts, sitting on his bed with his ankles crossed, looking at the camera with intensity in his eyes and a smile on his lips. She blushed as she saw a slight bulge in his shorts; he wasn't displaying it intentionally, but it was definitely there.

She called him and was delighted by his immediate answer. "Hey babe."

"Looks like you're happy to see me," she replied, teasing.

"Uh... yeah. Sorry about that."

"Why?"

"Why am I happy to see you?"

"No, why are you sorry."

"Okay, so I'm not sorry." He laughed. "Not intentional though, but I just got this great picture of my sexy girlfriend, a dude's gotta react somehow."

"That's better. You never need to apologize to me for that kind of reaction. And I love your picture."

"Noted. So, is it, uh, cold in the room where you are?"

"No, I'm pretty warm actually. Why?"

"Just..." he chuckled. "I can, uh, see your nipples through your tank top. It's hot. Definitely gets my mind going in the direction that, um... produces what you saw."

Rachel giggled. "Well I was thinking of you, obviously. So there's nothing I can do about those."

"I know what I'd like to do about those."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, Rach," Finn replied, his voice getting husky. "I'd touch them... cup your breasts and sweep my thumbs across them... peel that cute little tank off you and kiss them..."

"Oh..."

"I mean, they are really perky, just standing up and asking for a little attention. And I would not disappoint them."

"Yes," Rachel breathed, feeling warm inside.

"You're touching them, aren't you?"

"What?" Rachel looked down and saw her hand on her breast. She hadn't done that deliberately, it had just... gone there as she'd listened to him. She blushed.

"I think you are. You should, I mean since I can't."

"Okay, yes," she admitted. "Not sure I intended to but it just happened while I listened to you."

"Good." Finn snickered.

"Well I'm not the only one whose picture shows something asking for attention," Rachel countered.

"That's true," Finn replied, his voice warm. "So... what sort of attention would you give it?"

"Um, what?" _He wants me to - tell him? Actually say those things out loud?_

"Come on, Rach, don't leave me hanging here. You brought it up – the subject and _it_ itself, it comes up for you all the time – so tell me." His voice lowered. "What would you do?"

"Hold on." Rachel scrambled over to the door, looking out into the basement hall briefly and listening for voices. Good, her dads and uncle were still upstairs and seemed likely to stay that way, since their rooms were on the second floor.

"Uh... you'd hold on? Sounds good, but you got anything else?"

Rachel giggled as she went back to the bed. "'Hold on' was a request to you, and I'm quite sure you knew that. I was checking to make sure I couldn't be overheard."

"Holding on." And from the slight groan in his voice he might be meaning that literally.

"All clear."

"Good. So?"

"So... of course I'd start by touching it," she explained, blushing.

"How?"

"Um..."

"Need specifics," Finn teased.

Rachel bit her lip and decided to just go for it. She was not going to be cowed by a little discussion of body parts. Especially body parts that she enjoyed so much. This was Finn, her man, there wasn't anything they couldn't communicate if they tried. She closed her eyes, imagining Finn in front of her, maybe next to her on the bed, wanting her but needing her to make the first move. She could do that. "Through your shorts at first," she said softly. She took a deep breath and continued, elaborating further, thinking of him and how she loved feeling him react to her touch. "I stroke it. Stroke _you_. Lightly, but then stronger. Again, stronger still. Cup you, hold you in my hand." It felt – empowering, and her own groin throbbed.

"Yeah..." Finn's voice was hazy with arousal. She smiled at the sound, enjoying hearing him react to her.

"But my hand's so small and you're so big, getting bigger all the time..." Rachel said with deliberate coyness.

"Oh yeah." Finn groaned. "Hold me in your strong hands, baby."

_'Strong hands'? He likes that my hands are strong._ Rachel filed that away for future consideration. "It doesn't seem safe, how your clothes constrict you, now that you're so engorged," she went on, using a more clinical approach to make her more comfortable with what she was saying. "So I would carefully slide my hand in, keep the tip safe in my hand while I free you."

"Good idea..." Finn mumbled. Yes, she was quite sure he was acting this out, doing what she described. The feedback was – interesting. And she definitely felt in charge. Not that she didn't love when he took charge, that was fabulous, but she was enjoying this too, even without being able to touch him for real.

"Then I'd stroke you again. Directly. Long strokes, all the way up." She heard Finn moan. "Using my fingertips. You're so soft..."

"Hard," Finn gasped. "Always hard for you, Rach."

"The texture," Rachel corrected. "Your skin's so soft under my fingers, all stretched out..." Rachel realized she remembered a lot of details from touching Finn. A lot of very wonderful details. "And I'm rubbing the tip, so smooth and hot but it's getting sticky..."

Finn moaned, and she felt a thrill go through her from the sound.

"Are you close, Finn?" she whispered.

"Yes..." he groaned out, panting.

"Wrapping my other hand around your shaft, baby... holding you tight. Moving up and down. Again... and again."

"Ahhh..."

"Still rubbing around the tip, faster..."

"Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!" Finn had clearly lost it – the next thing she heard was a muffled thump as his phone fell onto the bed, and what she imagined might be the sound of him thrashing around a bit. Her own core was throbbing and her whole body felt warm, she'd gotten so turned on by what she'd been imagining and describing, and especially from his reaction to it.

She waited a few moments, and eventually heard his breath, coming in pants.

"God, Rach," Finn gasped. He panted some more, his breathing starting to slow. "Fuck. That was incredible."

Rachel smirked. "I always knew you liked the sound of my voice, I didn't realize just how much."

"You're really fucking awesome at this, babe."

She mentally excused his swearing - she'd gotten him really worked up, and the word was context-appropriate. "I seem to have noticed rather a lot about what it feels like to touch you," she said, smiling.

"That felt kind of like when you do. Better than just remembering it without hearing you, I was thinking about the first time you touched me like that just yesterday, but this is better."

"Guess we're both rather memorable."

"Oh yeah, babe." Finn exhaled. "Okay, your turn. Well, my turn to tell you what I'd be doing to you."

"Finn..." Rachel demurred.

"Come on, babe, it's _**great**_. And believe me I remember a whole lot of details about you too. I love making you come, I wanna do that for you and hear it."

"You wouldn't be the only one," she objected.

"Uh, what?" Finn asked sharply.

"To hear it. I'm – a bit loud," she explained.

Finn chuckled. "You're a lot loud. And I like that you're loud."

"_My dads are upstairs, Finn._"

"Right. Shit." Finn exhaled again. "Sorry, I forgot."

"That's okay. But after I gave them my whole 'this is why you should be happy and accepting about my relationship with Finn' spiel this afternoon, I really need to not freak them out like that."

"Yeah, I get it." He paused. "So how'd that go?"

"I talked, they listened. I know I got through with some of it, how you make me a better and happier person," she said.

"You told them that? Wow." Finn breathed. "Same goes for me, Rach, you know."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Rachel smiled, her heart warm. "And we watched _Fiddler on the Roof_ afterwards, with my uncle and his family, and my dads seemed to be getting the point that I needed them to get."

"What is the point, anyway? I think I fell asleep when we watched that."

Rachel laughed. "That's a safe assumption, since it doesn't have explosions. Actually I'm not sure I've watched it with you, I see it so often with my family. Anyway, there are five daughters, and the three eldest all fall in love, one by one, with men that increasingly divide them from what their family and traditions demand. And they all choose their future over their past. Whenever the girl has to choose between her family and the man she loves, she chooses her man. The father is increasingly heartbroken as these choices pull his daughters farther away from him, but they need to be with the men they love so for them this is how it must be."

"Wow." Finn sounded a little choked up. "No wonder you were going to sing along."

"As it happens I didn't, I thought it was too overt so I just let them watch it without enhancement. We usually watch it when the extended family gets together like we did yesterday. They both teared up a lot when the third daughter left; she and her father were close but she's in love with a gentile -"

"A what?"

"A non-Jew." Rachel smiled. "Like you."

"Ah, okay, I think I've heard Puck call me that. I thought he was being insulting."

"He may have used it that way, but the term isn't an insult. Anyway, because she married out of the faith, her father considers her her dead to the family and refuses to speak to her. It's rather heartbreaking. My uncle even commented that it's a good thing we don't follow that tradition or anything like it, of course meaning that he wouldn't be able to talk to his brother – my daddy – anymore."

"Isn't your uncle the only one that does talk to him?"

"Yes," Rachel said, sniffling. "He and his wife and kids are the only extended family I have."

"I didn't mean to make you cry, Rach," Finn said softly.

"It's okay. It's good for me to be reminded to appreciate these visits, especially now when I really wish

I was with you instead."

"Yeah, we'll be back together soon. You should enjoy your time with your family."

"I have. Even while missing you."

They both paused, waiting for the other. "So..." Finn sounded like he was ready to call it a night.

"Are you tired?"

"Not really."

"Good. Because I've already gone to bed, and I will see them all again tomorrow, we're not leaving until after dinner. And I won't get to talk to you again until the party."

"You think you'll still be able to go?"

Rachel frowned. "Well they haven't said I can't, and they previously said I could. Besides, it's not like we're going to get up to anything they're uncomfortable with, with everyone else around. Most of the club is staying over, aren't they?"

"Yes. So yeah, too public, sleeping together would only involve actual sleep. I'd like that, though."

"So would I." Rachel sighed. "I miss you. Kissing you, even just the touch of your hand, the feel of your arm around me – I feel like I'm going through withdrawal, we haven't been apart for this long since my trip last summer."

"Yeah, cold turkey sucks." Finn snorted. "The approach, I mean. Deprivation. The real cold turkey was good."

Rachel laughed. "When did you last eat?"

"Just before you called. I'm not hungry, honest." He lowered his voice. "Not for _food_."

"Well I've given you all I can over the phone."

"And it was _very good._ Hey, I should tell you, I get why you stole my shirts now."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I've been kind of doing the same thing. And yeah, it's good too."

"You've been stealing my shirts?" Rachel was puzzled. "I'm sure they don't fit," she giggled.

"No," Finn grumbled at her teasing. "The shirt from the other night? My undershirt."

"Okay, and?"

"Well you slept in it. And then you were wearing it the next morning when we, ah..."

"Went at it again?"

"Yes. And I've gotta tell you, it smells _fantastic_. Seriously, you give something off when you get going, it's the best smell ever."

"Oh really?" Rachel was intrigued.

"Oh yeah. I mean, it makes me think about you even more, because it doesn't just smell like you, it smells like being with you. If you could bottle it you'd make a freaking fortune, it's such a turn-on."

"No way. Only person who gets to smell that is you."

"That makes it even better."

"So how do you react to it?" Rachel asked, a little sultry.

"Well I can close my eyes and see you, see that look you get on your face."

"There's a look I get on my face? Tell me," Rachel cajoled.

"It's.. hold on, I thought I heard something," Finn said. Rachel waited, hearing him call out: "Anyone home?" He waited. "Guess it's still just me," he said a moment later. "Kurt went out with Blaine after band practice, and Mom and Burt are at some Rotary dinner."

"So...?" Rachel smiled. "What is this look I get?"

"Well it's kinda hard to describe. I mean it's not like I'm really up to thinking at the time," Finn admitted.

"Oh really?" Rachel said, intrigued. "That kind of time, is it?" They seemed to be slipping back into their sexy mood.

"Yep. There's this moment – when we're together, you know," he started to explain quietly.

"Mmm-hmm," Rachel responded, encouraging him to continue.

"Just... when I'm, uh, going inside you, I mean when I push in..." Finn said haltingly. "There's this look on your face, like it's wonder and tension and, and love all put together, and it's like I can, kind of see you feeling me, you know? And it's the most amazing thing I've ever seen, that look on your face, how you express all of that and make me feel like I'm becoming part of you right then." He paused. "I know I'm not explaining this very well -"

"No, Finn, it's perfect." Rachel choked up. "You describe it perfectly, that's how I feel then too."

"You okay?"

"Oh yes," Rachel said. She exhaled, feeling the warmth return to her loins at Finn's words. "Just feeling a little bit of how I feel then."

"I'm glad I could give you some of that. I love you."

"I love you too." She paused. "Speaking of things you give me..."

"Oh yes?"

"The other night, was that syncopation?"

"When?"

"You know when. Right before I proved just how loud I can scream your name."

"Uh, yes," Finn admitted sheepishly. "I just kind of... did it."

"It was highly effective. You're very talented."

"Well you should know."

Rachel giggled. "Oh, I had no idea just how much. Or the extra benefits of loving a drummer."

"Good to hear. There's a lot of cheap drummer jokes out there."

"Well I'm keeping this benefit all to myself. But keep experimenting like that, I love being your subject."

"Lab partner," Finn corrected. "Looking forward to the next time."

"Oh, me too."

Some noise came in the background. "Okay, that's Mom and Burt back," Finn said. He yawned. "I guess we should call it a night."

"I suppose so," Rachel said, sighing. "I'll text you when we get back tomorrow night – it'll be late. And I'll let you know if the plans change, okay? But I really think that the next time I talk to you will be in person, at Brittany's."

"Can't wait. Love you, Rach."

"I love you, Finn. Good night."


	16. Holiday

On New Year's Eve the weather was clear. Rachel had a light supper with her dads, as they insisted; she was too happy that they were still letting her go to the party and stay overnight to object to this making her unfashionably late, and truthfully she probably wouldn't be interested in most of the food at the party. Still, Finn would have been there for hours already, setting up his drums before the party even started. After being so far away, having to wait to close the last mile that separated them was difficult.

LeRoy drove her to Brittany's; they'd agreed that Finn could bring her back the next day, as long as she was in time for dinner. They talked a little as he drove.

"Are you sure there won't be alcohol?" her dad asked. "After that party you held at our place -"

"That's why we won't be drinking," Rachel protested. "That party ended up being really lame and stupid. I don't think anyone wants a repeat of that. We've had many others since then, without those problems." _Even if some might be drinking I won't_, she justified to herself. _Needy drunk, no thanks. Finn wouldn't either, he needs his hands to be precise. And we get inebriated enough just on each other._ "Of course I can't control what all the others do," she admitted, "but I'm not interested in any of that, and it's not supposed to be that kind of party, just music and friends. I promise if it gets messy or I have any problems I'll let you know."

They drove up the Pierces' driveway, hearing the band play. It was loud but she couldn't quite make out the words.

"I hope that won't get any noise complaints from the neighbours," LeRoy said.

"It's early still," Rachel said. "And it is New Year's Eve, I don't expect people are trying to sleep any time soon." She smiled as she heard Finn's drumming, the way he played the fill, and got a small shiver thinking of his hands manipulating the sticks, remembering the skill his fingers had shown with her.

As they pulled up in front of the house, they were close enough to make out the words of the verse, as Blaine sang. (*)

_If you don't like  
>What you got<br>Why don't you change it  
>If your world is all screwed up<br>Rearrange it_

The refrain came louder, with more voices added:

_Raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell  
>Raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell<em>

"Is that Finn?" LeRoy asked, listening.

"On drums. That's Blaine singing," Rachel answered, a little sharply. _Maybe if they weren't always away during our shows he might know this_, she thought, then shook her head. _No wonder they're concerned that Finn might not be going anywhere, they haven't seen him perform or they'd understand more about who he is._ "He was Tony in West Side Story. I showed you the video."

_If you don't like what you see  
>Why don't you fight it<br>If you know there's something wrong  
>Why don't you right it<em>

_Raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell  
>Raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell<em>

"Oh, right. You two sang so well together," he commented. "Kurt's boyfriend, right?"

"That's right," Rachel said, happier now. _Maybe he is paying attention._ "We double date sometimes."

The bridge started, in a different voice:

_In the end it comes down to your thinking  
>And there's really nobody to blame<br>When it feels like your ship is sinking  
>And you're too tired to play the game<em>

"That's Artie now," Rachel said. "I'd better go, I don't want to miss any more of this!" She leaned in and kissed her dad on the cheek. "Thank you for understanding," she said. "And not making me choose," she continued softly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

_Nobody's going to help you  
>You've just got to stand up alone<br>And dig in your heels  
>And see how it feels<br>To raise a little Hell of your own_

Rachel darted up the front steps, carrying the box of doughnuts that she'd made that morning, pressed the bell, and waited.

_Raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell  
>Raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell<em>

She heard Blaine singing again, though really she was only listening to the drums.

I_f you don't like  
>What you got<br>Why don't you change it  
>If your world is all screwed up<br>Rearrange it_

At this point it seemed like the whole house was chanting along. They were clearly having a great time.

_Raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell  
>Raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell<br>Raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell  
>Raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell<em>

The guitar wailed – probably Artie, more his technique than Puck or Sam – and she pressed the bell again, despite realizing that nobody could likely hear it.

_Raise a little Hell, raise a little Hell_

Finn drummed them out, and Rachel heard cheering from inside as the number finished. _Try the bell again_, she decided. She rang again as her father waited in the car.

There was some talking inside, something going on, but she couldn't make it out. She pressed the bell yet again, and then realized she hadn't heard it, and not from noise – it wasn't ringing. _Oh, that text yesterday,_ she remembered. She pulled her phone out and checked her messages from the last few days. Yes, there was the message from Brittany about the party, telling everyone to come inside when they got there. But... she huffed in frustration. The door was clearly locked.

She checked the message again. "Come in side when you get here!" _Oh, there's a __**space**__. _And... she nipped back down the front steps and peered around the house. _Side door. Confusing. Oh well, that's Brittany._

She went back to her dad, who looked worried. "What's going on, can't you get in?" he asked.

"The instructions were a little confusing. But now I think she meant the side door."

"All right, but you come right back if you can't get in."

"I could call someone inside, the band's stopped for now so I'm quite sure someone should answer, maybe Kurt since he's not playing," Rachel said. "But I'll try the door first." _It's a little embarrassing to need to call to be let in. But I don't want to miss any more of Finn._

She went around the side of the house, past the parked vehicles, running her hand affectionately down the edge of the back of Finn's truck. Santana's car was right by the entrance, of course. She tried the handle of the side door and was relieved to feel it turn, and the door give way. She quickly ran back to give her dad the thumbs-up, then went back to the door and inside.

She heard a lot of general chatter from the living room. Was the band taking a break already, had she missed that much?

Then she heard Puck yell out: "Quit stalling, Hudson, we do it as planned. Count us in."

Rachel hurried to hang up her coat and change her shoes, realizing that Finn had probably wanted to wait for her. She'd made it just in time to hear what he'd put together.

Artie and Puck started: (**)

_Say, hey!_

Then Finn's voice came in with the verse. A tingle went down Rachel's spine at the sound of his voice. She smoothed down her miniskirt and hurriedly went along the hall, going into the kitchen briefly to drop off the doughnuts.

_Hear the sound of the falling rain  
>Coming down like an Armageddon flame<br>The shame  
>The ones who died without a name<em>

Rachel stepped into the living room, smiling at hearing Finn, but still holding back near the doorway. The drums were back in an alcove, so she could only see his arm moving around from where she was.

_Hear the dogs howling out of key  
>To a hymn called "Faith and Misery"<br>And bleed, the company lost the war today_

Puck, playing guitar, caught her eye and motioned her forward with a grin and a jerk of his head. Rachel advanced so she could see Finn, who focused intently on his drumming as he started in on the chorus. She watched him, so in his element. Her heart rate increased, and it wasn't just from the music. She was aware of how much she loved and wanted him, and the impact of him in person, his vitality, pouring himself into what he loved, was just so much more than even the best memories. _You're incredible, Finn._

_I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies  
>This is the dawning of the rest of our lives<br>On holiday_

He hadn't seen her yet, he was so intent on what he was doing. Puck took a quick look back, noticed this too, and shook his head as he laughed silently at his friend's obliviousness. Some of the others probably were too, but she couldn't spare a glance for them; she only had eyes for Finn, even as Puck moved in her field of vision.

_Hear the drum pounding out of time_

Rachel was impressed by Finn's slight stutter on the drums, which she didn't remember from the original. Oh yes, her man was _on_. And clever, nobody should say he couldn't be.

_Another protester has crossed the line  
>To find, the money's on the other side<br>Can I get another Amen? (Amen!)  
>There's a flag wrapped around a score of men<br>A gag, a plastic bag on a monument_

At this rate he was never going to see her, he'd have to hear her. As Finn drummed the entry to the chorus, Rachel stepped forward to the side of the band and joined in:

_I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies_

At the first sound of her voice, Finn inhaled sharply and raised his head, grinning, searching for her. Their eyes met, connecting, both of them feeling the impact of being together again. But Finn was still performing, and had to focus on that; Rachel moved closer to him and smiled, continuing to sing with him, especially meaning the next line.

_This is the dawning of the rest of our lives  
>On holiday<em>

Finn beamed at her, his eyes still locked with hers as he drummed the bridge, his muscles knowing exactly what he had to do without looking.

_"The representative from California has the floor"_

Puck took over lead vocals for the final verse, much more his gritty style, the others joining in at the end of every other line to give it extra punch.

_Sieg Heil to the president Gasman  
>Bombs away is your <strong>punishment<br>**Pulverize the Eiffel towers  
>Who criticize your <strong>government<br>**Bang bang goes the broken glass and  
>Kill all the ones that <strong>don't agree<br>**Trials by fire, setting fire  
>Is not a way that's <strong>meant for me<br>**Just cause, just cause, because we're outlaws yeah!_

And they all joined in on the chorus.

_I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies  
>This is the dawning of the rest of our lives<br>I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies  
>This is the dawning of the rest of our lives<em>

_This is our lives on holiday_

Artie played the outgoing riff, Finn finishing on the drums and pouring extra energy into it as everyone cheered.

"Band's taking a break," Finn announced with a broad grin, to the disappointment of their friends-turned-audience. "Sorry, end of the first set, honest, we'll be back soon," he commented as he stored his drumsticks and stood up from the stool. He caught Rachel's hand and pulled her into the far hall, completely heedless of the amusement of their friends behind them at how blatant they were being. "I've missed you so much," he said, smiling down at her. "So glad you made it in time for that."

"Did I miss much?" She smiled up at him. "Aside from you, all the time."

"Not much, we started easy. That was the first of my big numbers, probably the biggest for me, I wanted to wait but they insisted."

"I heard most of the previous number too, I had some trouble getting in," she explained. "I love hearing you play, you were wonderful." She beamed up at him as he led her along.

Behind them, Santana walked to the center. "Hey, they can take their time," she said. "We girls have an answer to their number, don't we?" The Cheerios present, all ex-Troubletones, started chanting "_Holiday, Celebrate_". Santana gave way to Brittany, who started singing: (***)

_If we took a holiday  
>Some time to celebrate<br>Just one day out of life  
>It would be, it would be so nice<em>

* * *

><p>Finn led Rachel into a side sitting room off the hall, pushed the door closed behind them, and swung her into his arms for a kiss. His lips pushed insistently at hers.<p>

"It's been way too long," he mumbled. Her lips parted and he slid his tongue into her mouth, the kiss building very quickly, his arms holding her tightly to him. Rachel wound her hands around his neck and in his hair as they continued to kiss passionately.

They parted eventually to catch their breath. "You smell so _good_," Finn said exuberantly, wrapping himself around her in a close hug, breathing in her scent. "So _Rachel._ And you taste so good, you feel _so good..._" He slid his hands down her back to cup her ass, starting to fondle it. Rachel stiffened at this, and he dropped his hands. "Sorry, just getting carried away. I'm totally sober, I swear, all I need to make me completely crazy is you."

"Well you have me," Rachel murmured, leaning her head on his shoulder. "And that piece was great, you were amazing on it."

"I'm glad you joined in, I was so focused I didn't see you come in," Finn said "But I didn't know you knew any Green Day, or could get so into it."

"It's something you like so I'm open to it," Rachel replied pertly, looking up at him. "Besides, they're on Broadway now, it's very current."

"That song's 7 years old," Finn laughed. "I guess for Broadway that's current." He beamed at her. "I wasn't sure you'd be able to make it," he said. "I thought maybe your dads..." he trailed off.

"They've calmed down a lot," Rachel said. "I promised no drunken orgies, or indeed orgies of any kind."

"Pity," Finn joked, pulling her deeper into his arms, savoring the feel of her, stroking strongly down her back to grip her ass again.

Rachel stiffened and pulled away. "Finn..."

"Okay... are you staying over?"

"Yes."

"Good, 'cause I've staked out a nesting spot for us." He gestured to the side of the room, where he'd stacked a couple of camping mattresses and some bedding. "Brittany says we can sleep in here."

"Oh." Rachel mustered a smile.

"No orgies, like you said, just... I like sleeping with you in my arms." Finn smiled encouragingly. "I've missed that, missed holding you."

"That's lovely, Finn. I've missed that too." But Rachel still looked unsettled. She touched his cheek. "I've missed you so."

"Is something wrong, Rach?"

"I just..." Rachel bent a little, suddenly, and put her hand on her abdomen. "I'm sorry, I'll be right back," she said, hastily pushing past Finn and out the door. Finn followed her and soon found himself on the other side of a locked bathroom door.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "Rachel?"

"I'll be fine... just wait back there, I'll be right back," she called out. "Please don't wait outside, just go."

Finn sighed and went back to the side room to wait, ignoring the snacks on the table as he sat down to think. _What's wrong with Rachel? She was so alive, and then suddenly... I don't know. Did I come on too strong? It was so hard being apart and wondering when we'd be able to be back together. _The door opened, and he looked up hoping that Rachel was back, but instead it was Quinn.

"Oh," Quinn said on seeing him there alone. "Where's Rachel?"

"She... took off for the washroom," Finn said. "Should be back soon, I hope."

"Is something wrong?"

"I don't know... she's acting weird," he replied. "Kind of stiff." He sighed.

"What do you mean?" Quinn looked down at him, concerned, seeing Finn frown. "Look, you and I, that's all water under the bridge," she said. "I want to help, really."

"Just... she lit up, seeing me again, and I did too, I know it was just a few days but I've missed her so much, and then we come away here and it's great, I mean she's a really passionate kisser..." _Water under the bridge or not, it's still awkward telling Quinn this._

"Okay, and?" Quinn frowned a little but still pursued the issue.

"And then when I touched her, like anywhere... she just stiffened up. Repeatedly. Like she could touch me but didn't want me to touch her, or something. At least not anywhere, you know, sensitive. And then she held her stomach and ran off to the washroom." Finn stood up and paced a little. "She said she'd be right back, but she isn't."

"You could have followed her," Quinn commented.

"I did," Finn groaned. "But she's really private about those things, doesn't want me to see her when she's not feeling well, and she sent me away. She said she'd just be a moment, that she'd be fine, and she didn't want me waiting outside."

"Oh." Quinn pressed her lips together. "Like she didn't want you to listen?"

"Maybe." Finn thought. "Yeah, that could be. But why?" He looked over at Quinn, and became alarmed at the look of concern he saw there. "You know something, don't you? What's going on with Rachel?"

"Look, I don't know anything," Quinn said. "But when I acted like that, like everything you just said, it was because I was pregnant and trying to hide it."

"_**What?**_" Finn was in shock. _How could that have happened?_ He thought back to the morning after Christmas, when he'd slid into her without a condom for a moment. _Could that have done it?_ He didn't think so, it's not like he'd blown or anything, he hadn't even been close. But he'd heard that withdrawing didn't always work.

"I don't know if you remember – you probably don't want to think about back then, and I don't blame you," Quinn went on. "But before I told you, that was how I was."

"I..." Finn tried to think back, and found nothing. When he thought about just before Quinn had told him she was pregnant, he couldn't see her, only Rachel. Rachel's eyes, Rachel's smile, Rachel's body beneath his on the stage as he kissed her. And if Rachel was pregnant – _It'll be different this time,_ Finn told himself. _If she is, it's definitely mine. And we're older. And it's __**Rachel.**_ "I don't think I even noticed," Finn admitted to Quinn. "Right before you told me, I..." he struggled for the right words.

"You were going to break up with me to be with Rachel," Quinn finished for him. "I know. I knew then too, that's why I avoided you and then told you when I did." She frowned. "I am sorry, Finn," she said. "In all that mess it's probably the single worst thing I did. I was attracted to Puck, but I needed you as part of my plans. I should have let you go. Last year too, I don't think I really cared that much about what you wanted, and that was wrong."

"Uh... thanks." Quinn's apology had barely registered for Finn; his mind was too full of what she'd already suggested, that Rachel could be pregnant. _But we've been so careful, except for that morning – isn't it too soon to know? But maybe she doesn't know? And they have those tests, they say in the ads they can tell as soon as it happens, that sounded kinda creepy really like you find out while you're doing it, or something, but -_ Finn was reeling. "Rachel," he mumbled, sinking into a chair. "Oh God, could she really be..."

Quinn sat in the chair next to him and touched his arm. "If she is you're going to need to pull yourself together," she said. "And it's really just a guess, like I said I haven't heard anything, and you know how everyone gossips."

"Rachel would tell me first," Finn said. "And she hasn't been here." Pretty safe to assume her dads didn't know, since they'd let her come to the party. Finn clung onto thoughts of Rachel, which turned into thoughts of her and him and a baby. A family, their family. It looked good. He'd had those thoughts before. _But Rachel's older in that,_ he thought. _She didn't even used to want to have sex until she was 25 and had a Tony. Would she keep a baby? Would she even want to have it? September she should be starting at NYADA, this would be everything her dads were afraid I'd do to her, wreck her dreams._ Finn swallowed, trying to think straight, trying to stop himself from hyperventilating.

"You're worse than when _I_ told you," Quinn commented ruefully.

Finn stared at her. "Is this supposed to get easier?" he protested. "Just – God, it's probably so much worse for her." He took a few deep breaths, looking at the floor. "I know, I have to be there for her. We're older, getting ready to graduate, we can handle this together." _And if she doesn't want to have it – it was just an accident, right? If she wants to make it un-happen, that's okay too, right?_ Though the thought of there being something in the world that was part of himself and part of Rachel was really appealing. If it was true.

"Just talk to her, Finn. Find out for sure and be there for her." Quinn stood and touched Finn's shoulder. "You need to talk to Rachel," she stressed.

Behind them the door had opened. "Talk to me about what?" Rachel said pointedly, coming toward the other two. Finn's head shot up and he looked back at her, his face a mess of emotions.

Quinn put her hands up in a 'surrender' gesture. "It's really nothing to do with me," she said, walking past Rachel to the door. She gave Finn a last encouraging glance and then left.

* * *

><p>* "Raise a Little Hell", as performed by Trooper, written by Brian Smith and Ramon McGuire.<br>** "Holiday", as performed by Green Day, lyrics by Billie Joe Armstrong (very slightly modified).  
>*** "Holiday", as performed by Madonna, written by Curtis Hudson and Lisa Stevens.<p>

_A/N: Mean cliffhanger is all mine. Please review!_


	17. All In

_A/N: Much thanks for all the reviews, glad to see you're enjoying this so much!  
>My Finchel-shipping heart is very happy right now.<br>This chapter and the next have a lot of the band, enjoy._

* * *

><p>"What is it, Finn?" Rachel sounded tense. "What is it that <em>Quinn<em> thinks you need to tell me?"

Finn froze. _What can I say here? Everything sounds wrong._

Rachel moved to stand by his chair, touching him on the shoulder. "Finn?" Her voice was increasingly agitated.

Finn looked up at her, worry etched on his face. "Are – are you pregnant?"

"_What?_"

Finn stayed hunched over in the chair as he took her hand in both of his, focusing on it as he spoke. "Just – you're acting kind of weird, and stiff, and Quinn said, she said it's like she was when she was pregnant. And I know I wasn't as careful as I should have been, that morning, and – and it's okay, I mean if you are, whether you want to have it or not, I love you and we can deal with this together whatever you decide, just please don't be mad, or hurt, or -"

Finn's spate of words was suddenly cut off by an insistent kiss. Rachel then took his head between her hands, guiding Finn to meet her eyes.

"Finn, I'm not pregnant. And I'm not mad, and I'm completely in love with you, okay? Though it is good to know you'd support me in any decision."

Finn exhaled in a rush. "O-kay," he said slowly, standing, but he still looked concerned. "Are you sure? Because you've been acting funny tonight, like you don't want me to touch you too much, or something. Is it your dads, because they kind of caught us?"

"Oh. No, not that," Rachel replied, smiling a bit. "No, it's just..." she trailed off, thinking. "Oh, I'm being stupid, I should just tell you," she finally blurted out. "I would have told you before but since we're at Brittany's we wouldn't be doing those things anyway." She sighed at the sight of Finn's increasingly furrowed brow, and took his hands in hers. "Really it's not a big deal, it's quite regular," she explained. "I'm just a bit sore, that's all, and some... areas... are off-limits for a few days." Finn was still a bit puzzled. "And that's how I know I'm not pregnant."

"Ohhh." Finn finally got it. He started breathing normally again. "Okay." He smiled. "You could have just told me that, I was raised by my mom, you know."

"Sorry. I wasn't expecting it to get quite this bad, it hasn't been before, and I had no idea it might be interpreted that way. And we've never talked about that sort of thing, it's awkward."

"We don't need to talk about it. It's just good to know when that's, uh, off-limits, so I know what not to do. You don't need to hide things from me either." He smiled. "Now when you say 'a few days' – hey!"

Rachel laughed at him as he rubbed his chest where she'd tapped him. "I expect no more than three days more," she said, still smiling at where his mind had clearly immediately gone. "And yes that's after tonight. Five total, normally. This is just bad timing that it's hitting our reunion, we've never really run into it before."

"Because you've worked around it," Finn commented. Rachel had been quite proactive in figuring out when they could be together, but she had clearly absorbed her cycle into her plans without giving Finn the details. "Still, us and bad timing, who'd've thought it?" he joked ruefully, putting his arm around her.

"Oh, I don't know," Rachel offered, pulling herself into him. She smiled. "I seem to remember us having some extremely good timing just last week."

Finn smiled in remembered bliss. "If you don't count your dads, that is," he said.

"That was awkward but it may have been a good thing ultimately," Rachel said.

"Good? They almost walked in on us. And then I thought I was a goner – major inquisition and I was lucky just to get thrown out without injury," Finn protested.

"Well yes," Rachel acknowledged. "That was horrible, and I'm so sorry you had to go through it. But they did listen to me the other day, we talked more earlier today, and they're starting to face that I'm growing up. And," Rachel went on quietly, lowering her voice to ensure she wouldn't be overheard, "we've agreed that I'm going to the clinic next week to go on birth control, just to be extra careful," she said. "The timing's right for that so I can start taking it right away."

"Wow, really."

"Yes." Rachel swallowed. "They are accepting things, really they are."

Finn exhaled in relief. "So we're okay," he said. "Your dads are okay with me." He held her close. "With _us_."

"Mostly," Rachel replied tentatively. "They may still give you a hard time for having carnal relations with their little princess, they're my dads, but I don't think they're in denial, though we should probably let them discreetly pretend that they are if they want to. And," she continued, touching Finn's cheek, "I left them in no doubt that I am very happy and not being taken advantage of in the slightest. That was probably the hardest thing for them to accept, they're so used to seeing me as their sweet little girl, not a, a..." She fumbled for a description.

"Sexy babe? Hot temptress?" Finn supplied. Rachel blushed. "As long as you're _my_ hot temptress," he continued, grinning as he saw her nod emphatically. He leaned forward but stopped just short of kissing her. "Ready and willing, hmmm?"

"Willing," Rachel demurred. "Not currently ready. But that'll pass, even if I am a bit more sore right now than I'm used to. But willing," she said breathily, remembering. She kissed him, a soft sweet kiss that he returned. "More than willing."

"Eager, even?" Finn smirked, kissing her again, teasing at her lips with his tongue.

"Mmm-hmm..." Rachel's lips parted and he delved between them.

The door swung open, then slammed shut again.

"Will you two get a room!" Santana's voice came from the other side. "Or at least post a warning on the one you're in!"

Rachel giggled. "Sorry," she called out.

"Really?" Finn asked her with a quiet smile.

"No, not really," she admitted, still giggling. She kissed him again. "I'll go talk to Quinn. Nice of her to be concerned, but she needn't worry."

"I can talk to her."

"No, I also need to apologize for the massive glare I gave her when I saw the two of you." Rachel winced. "Old habits die hard, I guess."

"Okay." Finn pulled her close one more time. "I'm yours, you know that. Heart and body and soul and... and everything else."

Rachel smiled and gave him a kiss. "I know. Same here. And I'm sorry I was being weird about... my issue. I mean, I'm pretty sure even now that you don't want to know the details -"

"Uh, no."

"- but I should have thought more about how I was acting and what you might think. I mean, any time I'm not completely enthusiastic about sleeping in your arms, something must be wrong!"

"Is that still okay?"

"Oh yes. Of course it is. Just stay above the waist and don't worry if I get a cramp or something. They come and go." She leaned up to his ear. "All week I've been so lonely, sleeping without you," she whispered. "I know we haven't done that much but it just feels so right." She kissed him again and broke away, heading for the door. "Back soon."

"Actually I'll see you out there, it's almost time for the second set."

"Okay. Your playing is fabulous, I look forward to more." Rachel flashed him another smile and turned to go.

"Wait -" he stepped forward, grabbing her hand and guided her back to face him. "I need you to know something. About the second set."

"Yes?"

"One of the songs, the one Blaine's singing lead? He picked it, I swear. Puck probably helped, it had to fit in with what we were already doing, but I had nothing to do with it. And we threw it together three days ago. Three."

"Okay," Rachel said, puzzled. "Why does it matter?"

"I just – I don't want you to think I had anything to do with picking it. That I'm telling tales or anything like that."

Rachel looked at him, meeting his eyes and seeing the sincere concern there. "I believe you, Finn."

"Good."

"But now I really want to find out what you're talking about, so get out there and play, mister." She grinned at him.

Finn's lips turned up. "As you wish."

* * *

><p>Rachel spotted Quinn in the living room and went over to her.<p>

"Quinn? Do you have a moment?"

"Sure." Quinn followed Rachel into a corner of the room.

"So, Finn told me what you were talking about. What you thought I was acting like."

"Oh. Good, he needed to." Quinn looked concerned and started to say something else, but stopped.

"But it's not what you thought. Just a bad set of cramps, they'll pass. Finn is very relieved."

"Oh, good." But Quinn looked puzzled. "They can get that bad?"

"They have recently. It's part of growing up I suppose. You might not notice, I'm sure even the worst would pale against giving birth."

"I hope so." Quinn winced. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interfere. I suppose I did jump to conclusions."

"No, it's fine. We had a nice little heart-to-heart. And he was worried already, so it's better that you got us to work things out." Rachel smiled. "We're happier than we were twenty minutes ago, so thank you. I'm sorry about the glare, just habit I guess. Shades of the past."

"You don't have to worry about that, it's long over. You won, I lost."

"It was never about winning and losing, Quinn." Rachel bit her lip. "Finn and I share something really special. It's either there or it's not, and us having that doesn't make you a loser, just someone who hasn't found the right person." She smiled encouragingly. "Love isn't a competition, it's... art. Like music. Open yourself up and see what comes."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Finn was giving his drums a quick once-over, while trying to talk the rest of the band into a quick addition to their set list.<p>

"Come on, Puck," he tried again. "We rehearsed the 38 Special a few days ago, we can put it in."

"No," Puck was firm. "If you can veto so can I."

"One drummer, three guitarists," Finn muttered, readjusting the hi-hat.

"Hey, leave me out of this," Sam protested. "I just got back, I don't know it at all."

Finn looked at Artie hopefully.

"Guitarist solidarity, Finn," Artie said. "Sorry. But we agreed this was for stuff we wouldn't do in Glee, hard rock, and that isn't either of those. Plus Santana made us promise."

"Promise what?" Finn frowned as he looked from Artie to Puck and back again.

"'On your mothers' lives, do not let Frankenteen waste our time with any sappy eighties rock songs,'" Puck intoned. "'We've all heard more than enough of those at school.'"

Finn was annoyed, but still had to chuckle a little at Puck's impression of Santana. "Not recently, but _okay_," he conceded. "Know your audience, I guess."

"Good. Set list stands," Puck stated. He sidled over to the drums. "We cool, Finn?"

"Yeah, we're cool." Finn shrugged. "I just really feel like singing it to her, that's all."

"Do it at school sometime, with the Jazz Band. Then you can stick to singing, get up close, _you know_, the usual way the two of you carry on." Puck rolled his eyes. "Come on," he said, raising his voice as he strode back to the front of the band. "Let's kick this party up a notch or ten!"

Finn settled behind the drums and tapped his sticks together twice to signal that he was ready.

Artie started, wailing on his guitar, Finn adding the bass drum to the rhythm after a few measures. Then Finn brought his arms into play, with Puck adding rhythm guitar and starting to sing. (*)

_Well it's midnight, damn right, we're wound up too tight  
>I've got a fist full of whiskey, the bottle just bit me<br>That shit makes me bat shit crazy  
>We've got no fear, no doubt, all in balls out<em>

_We're going off tonight  
>To kick out every light<br>Take anything we want  
>Drink everything in sight<br>We're going till the world stops turning  
>While we burn it to the ground tonight<em>

_We're screaming like demons, swinging from the ceiling  
>I got a fist full of fifties, tequila just hit me<br>We got no class, no taste, no shirt, and shit faced  
>We got it lined up, shot down, firing back straight crown<em>

This was clearly Puck's number; he swaggered in front of the others as he belted out the lyrics. Sam had taken over most of the second guitar part, leaving Puck to get into what he was singing.

_We're going off tonight  
>To kick out every light<br>Take anything we want  
>Drink everything in sight<br>We're going till the world stops turning  
>While we burn it to the ground tonight<em>

Artie grimaced as he played the guitar solo; Puck then lowered his register and snarled the next verse.

_Ticking like a time bomb, drinking till the night's gone  
>Well get you hands off of this glass, last call my ass<br>Well no chain, no lock, and this train won't stop  
>We got no fear, no doubt, all in balls out<em>

Puck was never one to restrain himself from a crotch grab, but his friends found it more funny than dramatic.

_We're going off tonight  
>To kick out every light<br>Take anything we want  
>Drink everything in sight<br>We're going till the world stops turning  
>While we burn it to the ground tonight<em>

Puck nodded quickly at the others, who joined in.

_We're going off tonight  
>To kick out every light<br>Take anything we want  
>Drink everything in sight<br>We're going till the world stops turning  
>While we burn it to the ground tonight<em>

Everyone cheered as the song ended, Puck grabbing some water immediately.

"So... we think this next one's finally ready for prime time," Puck called out as Sam helped Artie switch from his seven-string to his bass guitar. Artie had a lot of different guitars. Behind them, Finn gulped down water and stretched his arms. Puck turned around to look at him, and they exchanged a meaningful nod, followed by Finn tapping his sticks together for a 4-count.

Puck started, getting his guitar to make a strange high-pitched slow keening sound, Finn tense and alert with his sticks in position. Then Puck took a deep breath and kicked a foot up briefly. Finn hit the drums twice, _da-da_; following his lead, Puck started playing a halting riff, the others joining in, the music fairly exploding from all three of them.

Puck and Finn were perfectly synchronized, Finn's beats hitting the exact rhythm of the riffs Puck was playing; they'd clearly been practicing this a lot longer than a week, make that months or even years. Artie, too, was in sync with the others. The tempo built, the music becoming more complex and connected, and built and built again, patterns, riffs, drum fills. Rachel didn't recognize the music, but she was sure she'd heard them talk about it; this must be 'that damn piece' and 'totally hairy number' that Finn sometimes mentioned working on. All their work had certainly paid off.

Rachel was enjoying how intense Finn was getting into his drumming, and she was very impressed at his energy and precision, but she still wondered who was singing this one. Not Finn, he was playing too hard, his jaw set. But so were the others, Artie on bass guitar and Puck on lead, neither looking ready to sing. Eventually Finn had a less energetic part, giving way to the guitar momentarily; he caught her questioning eye with a grin, and mouthed 'instrumental'. She laughed silently, then resumed staring at her man, feeling her body start to tingle in appreciation of his skill. The lengths of the drum patterns kept changing, and she'd remembered that he'd once said "sometimes I forget about time signatures and just play the beats" about this number. She felt the ebb and flow of the piece as it built and soared, finally gaining a steady ongoing rhythm, Finn looking so natural on it. _Wow._

Finally the music slowed and stopped short. All three of them intoned one line to end the piece: (**)

_and the **gleek** shall inherit the earth_

Everyone was stunned for a moment, then the applause started, led by Sam (who looked very glad they hadn't asked him to join in on that one). Rachel cheered, bouncing up and down, beaming at Finn. After grinning at her and giving a silent "Whew", Finn's attention shifted to Puck, who had doffed his guitar and was going back to talk to him.

"Five minute break, folks," Puck called back out, then focused on Finn, who rose from the drum stool, still getting his breath back. "Shit, dude, we did it," Puck crowed, and they exchanged a double high-five. "Fuckin' A." They went back around the drum kit to include Artie in their congratulations. "Holy shit, Wheels, the way you kept up, it was like you'd been working on it as long as we have." Artie grinned as they all grabbed some more water.

Rachel felt a tap on her shoulder, and looked back to see Kurt, who smiled at her and waved his phone. "I got the whole thing," he said with a smile. "They've been working on that for a long time." They exchanged a quick hug. "Good to have you back, diva," he said. "I've missed you. Not as much as he has though, he's been going kind of nuts without you."

Rachel smiled. "So have I," she admitted. She looked back at Finn, who was settling down again behind the drums. She breathed, entranced, looking at the set of his head, how he moved, every part of him so _Finn._ She sighed, a beaming smile on her face.

"Well I don't have to ask what's on your mind," Kurt teased. "Enjoy the rest of the show."

* * *

><p>* "Burn it to the Ground", as performed by Nickelback, lyrics by Chad Kroeger.<br>** "2112: Overture", as performed by Rush, lyric by Neil Peart (modified by HLine, originally based on Matthew 5:5).


	18. Want It All

"We've got some guest singers on the last two," Puck declared as he checked his tuning. "First, to help us with a little 'glam', welcome back Blaine Anderson." Behind him, as Blaine came up, Finn caught Rachel's eye again; this must be the song Finn had been so determined to disclaim all part in choosing.

Puck stepped forward and started the opening guitar riff, playing with his usual swagger, Finn adding drums as Puck repeated.

Blaine loosened his bow tie, grinned at Kurt, and started to sing: (*)

_You know I never  
>I never seen you look so good<br>You never act the way you should  
>But I like it<br>Then I know you like it too  
>The way that I want you<br>I gotta have you  
>Oh yes, I do<em>

Free from the need the others had to play instruments, Blaine came forward, occasionally beckoning to and pointing at Kurt as he sang, even though he was still working the entire room.

_I know I never  
>I never ever stay out late<br>You know that I can hardly wait  
>Just to see you<br>And I know you cannot wait  
>Wait to see me too<br>I gotta touch you_

They moved into the chorus, Artie joining Blaine on the lyrics while still backing up Puck on the guitar along with Sam.

_'Cause baby we'll be  
>At the drive-in<br>In the old man's Ford  
>Behind the bushes<br>'Til I'm screamin' for more  
>Down the basement<br>Lock the cellar door  
>And baby<br>Talk dirty to me_

Rachel blushed, understanding what Finn had meant about this song, and she reddened further as Blaine continued. No wonder Finn had emphasized that they'd planned this before the phone call the other night, and he definitely couldn't have asked the others not to do it without them figuring out why.

_You know I call you  
>I call you on the telephone<br>Tell that little thing he's home  
>So I can hear ya<em>

She got control of herself and raised her head back to see the band, finding Finn's eyes locked on her. She beamed a smile at him, nodding, mouthing 'it's okay'. His mouth turned up, and he put more attention back on the music. She smiled back at him and winked, finding it hot to be covertly reminded of how he'd reacted to her descriptions of how she'd like to touch him.

_When you says those words to me  
>And whisper so softly<br>I gotta hear ya_

Finn raised his eyebrows at her as he mouthed along with those words.

_'Cause baby we'll be  
>At the drive-in<br>In the old man's Ford  
>Behind the bushes<br>'Til I'm screamin' for more  
>Down the basement<br>Lock the cellar door  
>And baby<br>Talk dirty to me_

Blaine stepped back, giving way to Puck for a short guitar solo.

At the last repeat, all five guys were singing, Finn grinning sheepishly at Rachel while he did.

_'Cause baby we'll be  
>At the drive-in<br>In the old man's Ford  
>Behind the bushes<br>'Til I'm screamin' for more  
>More, more<br>Down the basement  
>Lock the cellar door<br>And baby  
>Talk dirty to me<br>And baby  
>Talk dirty to me<em>

Kurt's ears were scarlet by the end of it, but he was smiling; he went up to give Blaine a quick covert kiss, then went out into the hall.

"Let's jam a little, guys," Artie said, improvising on his guitar. Sam and Puck joined in, and once they'd started some sort of regular pattern Finn added drums. They goofed around for a few minutes, then tapered down to just the drums, Finn working the snare, slowing down to silence.

From out in the hall Kurt's voice came, high and clear: (**)

_When I was a young boy  
>My father took me into the city<br>to see a marching band_

Kurt walked in slowly, step by step, Finn adding soft drums for a slow march.

_He said son when you grow up  
>Would you be the saviour of the broken<br>The beaten and the damned_

Artie added a soft plaintive guitar riff that built.

_He said will you  
>Defeat them<br>Your demons  
>And all the non-believers,<br>the plans that they have made  
>Because one day<br>I'll leave you  
>A phantom<br>To lead you in the summer  
>To join The Black Parade<em>

Puck joined in on guitar, playing with Artie, the notes soaring as the drums intensified, louder, more fills.

By this time Kurt was at the front beside the band, in profile. He started to repeat, Finn joining in a lower harmony from the back, the two of them exchanging the occasional glance. This was very important for Finn, Rachel realized, recognizing the song as one he sometimes listened to when thinking about his dad. And hearing Kurt sing with him on this, stepbrothers together both having lost a parent, made the feeling of the piece hit home. The other music, even the complex instrumental, had been hard in style but still light in subject, to entertain. This was serious.

_When I was a young boy  
>My father<br>Took me into the city  
>To see a marching band<br>He said son when you grow up  
>Would you be<br>The saviour of the broken  
>The beaten and the damned<em>

The music tapered down almost to nothing, then took off again with a rapid drum pattern and all three guitars. Blaine looked aside at Kurt and the pair of them took over the vocals, Kurt singing descant to Blaine.

_Sometimes I get the feeling  
>She's watching over me<br>And other times I feel like I should go  
>And through it all<br>The rise and fall  
>The bodies in the streets<br>And when you're gone we want you all to know  
>We'll carry on<br>We'll carry on  
>And though you're dead and gone believe me<br>Your memory will carry on  
>We'll carry on<br>And in my heart I can't contain it  
>The anthem won't explain it<br>A world that sends you reeling  
>From decimated dreams<br>Your misery and hate will kill us all_

Blaine's voice faded down to harmonize with Kurt as lead.

_So paint it black  
>And take it back<br>Let's shout it loud and clear  
>Defiant to the end we hear the call<em>

Finn still looked serious, but happy, his energy flowing into the piece, one drum pattern rapidly giving way to the next. Rachel smiled at him, glad to see him ease and clearly be so alive.

_To carry on  
>We'll carry on<br>And though you're dead and gone believe me  
>Your memory will carry on<br>We'll carry on  
>And though you're broken and defeated<br>Your weary widow marches_

Blaine's voice came to the forefront again. Finn's drumming intensified further, and Rachel could feel the energy and charisma pouring out of him as he played, all that feeling he kept inside and strength that he had, building, pushing the song forward.

_On and on we carry through the fears  
>Disappointed faces of your peers<br>Take a look at me  
>'Cause I could not care at<br>All_

The drums suddenly slowed with a few rolls.

Kurt and Finn took over the vocals again, as Finn returned to the march on the snare, and Rachel's heart thrummed. A man, indeed. Her man. Finn was connecting so deeply with the song that she felt the conviction coming from him, even as she knew how tenuous his hold on this determination could be. Rachel felt all that, all he was, all that power and vulnerability and talent and emotion and _Finn_.

_Do or die  
>You'll never make me<br>Because the world  
>Will never take my heart<br>Go and try  
>You'll never break me<br>**We want it all**_

He looked at her, their eyes connecting briefly as he chanted that line right at her, and her breath caught.

_We wanna play this part_

She swallowed, her mouth dry, her body tingling. _God, __**Finn.**_ She was sure that if she hadn't been completely in love with him before, she certainly would be now. In the back of her mind she cursed her body for making her unable to do what she wanted to do now more than anything, just jump him the second he finished. She wanted him _so much_, to feel all that vital energy and _Finn_ of him coming together with her. To become a part of all he was and all that he was expressing right now.

_I won't explain  
>Or say I'm sorry<br>I'm unashamed  
>I'm gonna show my scar<br>Give a cheer  
>For all the broken<br>Listen here  
>Because it's who we are<em>

Who we are, indeed.

Finn's voice lowered as Kurt's soared:

_I'm just a man  
>I'm not a hero<br>Just a boy  
>Who had to sing this song<br>I'm just a man  
>I'm not a hero<br>**I. Don't. Care!**_

The band flared into full voice as all six men sang. Finn was easing back, pulling back from getting too carried away by the piece, settling back into a regular drum beat and taking deep breaths so he'd be able to finish it properly.

_We'll carry on  
>We'll carry on<br>And though you're dead and gone believe me  
>Your memory will carry on<br>We'll carry on  
>And though you're broken and defeated<br>Your weary widow marches on_

Finn, Kurt and Blaine held the end of that line as Sam, Artie, and Puck repeated below them:

_Do or die  
>You'll never make me<br>Because the world  
>Will never take my heart<br>Go and try  
>You'll never break me<br>We want it all  
>We wanna play this part<em>

With the lead three repeating:

_**We'll carry on.**_

All six guys lowered their heads, as was their tradition in Glee; the only sound was Finn's last quiet strokes on the snare drum, a final receding march. Then silence, the rest of them looking on stunned, so impressed by all that their friends had shown them.

Finally Mike spoke. "Wow." He started to clap slowly, which sped up as the others joined in. The band members raised their heads, grinning, catching their breath. Rachel only had eyes for Finn, staring at him in wonder, her heart still pounding, her body still tingling with how much she wanted him. She applauded slowly, feeling like her arms were barely able to move, her eyes following Finn as he skirted around his drums and came toward her.

"Hey." He looked down at her with an excited grin, his own breath still rapid. "So what do you think? You seemed to be really getting into it." She gazed up at him, her lips slightly parted, unable to speak. A little concerned at her lack of response, Finn pulled her into the hall. "Everything okay?"

"Just – Finn. Oh." She swallowed. "You – I – _Oh_." Her nerves were still on fire and _God_ how she wanted him. She managed to string a few words together. "You didn't know I'd have that issue... though you did know this was a party, we probably wouldn't be able to – _oh._"

Finn chuckled at how little sense Rachel was making, and pulled her closer. "You're going to need to use actual words, Rach."

Rachel laughed a little at herself, managing to get a small measure of self-control. "I suppose," she said. "Just – when you're drumming, you're so skillful, and you get so into it, expressing yourself, and then you look at me, it's like I can see everything that you are, and it's so..." she gasped for breath.

"So... what?"

"It's such..." she dropped her voice, whispering to him. "I want you so much," she confessed. "Not that I don't normally, I do, but right then, and now... God. If it was in a few days, and we were alone..."

"You'd have your way with me?" The end of Finn's mouth curled up.

"Oh yes," Rachel breathed, then blushed.

"I like your way."

"You do?"

"_Of course I do._ So in a few days, we'll have to arrange that. A little private concert at my place." Finn grinned. "I think I know just the song."

"One of these?"

"No, this one's not for public ears," he responded. "I like – make that love – how hot and bothered I can get you, and everything you do to me, but that's, um, private."

"Hot and bothered, hmm?" Rachel's slight smile was cryptic.

Finn leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Rach, baby, a moment ago you were so flustered you could barely talk. _You_." He heard her giggle softly. "So check the schedules and find us some time, because there's nothing that turns me on more than turning you on."

Rachel smiled happily, and they exchanged a kiss. "I think my powers of speech are returning," she commented.

"I'll have to try harder next time."

"So how did you get Kurt to join in?" she asked. "He was great, it's a wonderful piece for both of you, but it's not his usual style at all."

"Blaine kinda challenged him," Finn answered. "And by the looks of it Kurt really impressed him."

"I think he impressed all of us too," Rachel replied. "Though I was definitely looking more past him than at him."

"Oh yeah?" Finn grinned.

"_Not_ just because you turn me on. I do love seeing you in your element, you come so alive." She moved closer, nestling into him.

"I'm getting sweat all over you," Finn said, pulling back.

Rachel looked down, blushing. "It's not the first time," she giggled, very quietly.

Finn stared down at her, a grin eventually spreading over his face. He kissed the top of her head. "Won't be the last time either."

"It had better not be."

"But the other times you get a lot more out of it, so I'm going to wash it off and change my shirt," he said. "Be back soon, babe."

"I'm going to go congratulate Kurt, I haven't talked to him much yet tonight. He was excellent and really should do this sort of thing more."

"Uh... Kurt and Blaine went downstairs."

"Oh, okay." Rachel moved in that direction, but Finn pulled her back.

"Together," he said meaningfully.

"_Oh._" She smiled. "Of course. Well I think I'll go talk to Tina, see how she's been. And some of the others." She gave him a light kiss and went back into the living room.

* * *

><p>When Finn came out of the bathroom he immediately bumped into Santana, who was standing right outside in the otherwise empty hallway. "Sorry," he said.<p>

"Wow, I hardly recognized you without your extra appendage, Quasimodo."

Finn rolled his eyes. "What is it, Santana?"

"In the interest of limiting the amount of eye bleach that the others at this party will need, I have made you a sign." Santana ceremonially handed Finn a piece of cardboard, suspended from a string, on which was written "WARNING: FINCHEL IN PROGRESS" in large black letters. She pointed to the strange spidery drawing below the words. "That was supposed to be a giant trying to copulate with a dwarf, but the marker slipped and it's our last piece of cardboard. Brittany tried to fix it."

Finn briefly turned it over to see the cat picture on the reverse.

"Please hang it on the doorknob of whatever room you and Yentl are currently occupying."

"Are you turning into some sort of heterophobe or something, Santana?"

"Wow, what a big word for you, Frankenteen."

Finn frowned. "Hey, I can use big words. I can even use people's names."

"In my family insults are love."

"Some of your insults are just insults and everyone knows it. It's your girl's party, but how about you let others have a good time too for once?"

"_My girl_?"

"Well yeah. You call her that, don't you? Or aren't you at that stage yet where others can too?" Finn paused, noting Santana's nonplussed reaction. "There isn't a problem, is there?" he asked, concerned.

Santana shook her head. "Why do you care how things are going for me, anyway?" she asked, dropping some of her facade. "I know you said that stuff about me being your first mattering, but it certainly didn't mean anything to you at the time."

"Did it mean anything to you?" Finn asked quietly. Santana frowned and shook her head again. "Look, yeah, it was a mistake. But it was a mistake for both of us, we were both unhappy and doing it for all the wrong reasons. Yeah, I didn't really want you, which was wrong, but you didn't really want me either, then or later, it was a power play." He paused, looking carefully at Santana for her reaction.

"I guess so." Santana caught Finn's challenging expression. "Okay, you're right. But what about it?"

"I just... Look, I'm really happy with Rachel. I want you to be happy too, we all deserve that. And I do feel guilty, 'cause really I was using you, even if it was mutual, and I don't want to see you hurt. I don't want to be that guy. I hate that I was that guy, sleeping with a girl he didn't want just because he couldn't get the girl he did want. I've moved on from the person I was then, and I want you to be able to too."

"Ouch," Santana winced. "I knew you really wished I had been her, but way to spell it out."

"Sorry," Finn offered lamely. "Nothing against you, you're just not Rachel. She's all I've really wanted ever since I started getting to know her, even if I didn't always know it. It wouldn't've mattered who else you were, and I shouldn't have done anything with you, being like that, so I'm sorry."

"Okay," Santana said, thinking it over. "Apology accepted. And me and Brit... we're good, I think. It's hard to know really. She's so trusting sometimes I wonder if she's just doing what I want." Santana shrugged. "At least we have a room and intend to use it accordingly instead of ranging all over the house," she stated.

"Benefit of hosting, I guess," Finn said. "And we were alone. But she's been away, and..." He shrugged, smiling as he thought of how hard it always was to stop kissing Rachel. "Teenage male hormones, or something."

"I must've not noticed your enormous sex drive during the Great Mistake," Santana sniped. "Don't know how I missed it. Probably the same part of me that fails to notice Kurt and Blaine doing it in the street."

_That's 'cause they went downstairs_, Finn thought, but he wasn't about to rat them out. _None of her business anyway. Or mine._ He grimaced. "Your point?"

"My point is, being male isn't an excuse. Especially as _Rachel_'s clearly into it just as much as you are," Santana said. "Girl practically creams her panties every time she sees you. If the pair of you aren't going to control your ridiculously excessive PDA, the least you can do is own it."

Finn tried to supress a grin at Santana's description of Rachel's reaction to him. "Hey, it's a house party. If you and Brittany want to go make out somewhere then you should go right ahead," he said. "Keep it real, that's your motto, right? So yeah, we'll own it."

"Glad to know I didn't put you off sex for life," Santana commented wryly.

Finn snorted. "Glad to hear you've found someone more to your liking than a beached whale."

Santana rolled her eyes, but smiled. "Well don't forget to use the sign," she called out as she turned to go. "Eye bleach isn't cheap!"

* * *

><p>Finn finally made it to the kitchen, needing to refuel after all his exertions on the drums. It was surprisingly empty, the others still happy to stay in the living room or find quiet corners in pairs. He spotted the doughnuts and helped himself to a couple of them with a grin, pleased that Rachel had made some more for him. Well, for everyone, he supposed, but really for him. He took a bite. <em>Mmm, yes, her baking always tastes amazing.<em> He smirked. _And so does she._ He was already counting the days until he might be able to taste her on his tongue again. _Three after today... so starting Wednesday._

"Staying on the wagon again tonight, huh Hudson?" Puck said, coming in and grabbing a beer from the fridge. He gestured at the soda Finn was drinking.

"Don't need to juice my mood, Puck," Finn replied, turning to face his friend. He grinned. "Especially not tonight."

"Yeah, she showed up just in time to catch the start of you showing off. Seems to be working on her too, guess we can forgive you for stalling."

"You've been forgiven a lot more than making people wait a couple of minutes."

"Ten. At least. Your snare did not need adjusting."

Finn rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"You teach that attitude to Berry? 'Cause I told her I was sorry again about the other night, since she'd been so mad then, and that was her response. Only with more words."

"I don't think she was really that mad, just trying to get rid of you as soon as possible."

"I kinda killed the mood, huh? Sorry."

"Don't give yourself so much credit, Puck."

Puck stared at Finn. "That sounds almost like what she said. Only -"

"With more words, I know."

"Longer ones anyway. Ever figure out why she talks like that?"

Finn shrugged. "That's just how she talks," he said. "Her dads are the same, they know a lot of words and they're used to using them is all. And the more serious they get the bigger words they use. It's not stuck-up or anything like that, it just comes naturally to them."

"Not sure how you put up with it."

"I have no reason not to, _I_ don't have any problem with it. She explains nicely if I ask. I do think she likes that she can say all kinds of stuff and people can't quote her, though. And it's kind of cool, a lot of the stuff she says."

"Like whatever it was she said about you the other night." Puck frowned. "It sounded like she was saying good things about you, kinda dirty too, but fuck if I can remember what she said."

Finn smirked. "See?"

"Annoying. It'd be just the sort of thing to repeat if I had the first clue what it was."

"Annoying for _you_. Not for me, I don't want you to repeat it either. And you shouldn't have been there in the first place to have to be told it."

"I've apologized all I'm going to for that since both of you keep blowing it off."

"Fine, apology accepted." Finn looked seriously at Puck. "Yeah, you got in the way. And then you got out of the way. No big deal, just don't do it again."

"So..." Puck leered. "Good night?"

Finn grinned. "None of your business."

"Hey, don't think I don't know why you vetoed 'You Shook Me All Night Long'."

"Don't think I don't know that you kept pushing for it to see if I would. Aren't you getting enough action yourself to keep that shark-brain of yours occupied?"

"My business got kind of fucked up," Puck admitted, taking another drink.

"That's one way to put it. Seriously, her birth mother?"

"She's my kid's mother," Puck protested. "Anyway, that went nowhere."

"Still another big reason why you should keep your mind off of me and Rachel."

"Kinda hard when you're all over each other tonight. Even more than usual."

"Hey, it's a party. And it's been five days. Almost six. That's the longest we've been apart since summer vacation." _And I was so worried her dads were going to keep us apart._

"And definitely since the first night of West Side Story when you started getting physical," Puck commented.

"What?" Finn was shocked. "How do you know that? Did she, like, tell someone?" While their relationship progress wasn't a secret, and he'd talked to Puck about condoms a few days before, he hadn't told anyone about it afterward, and he didn't think that Rachel would've told anyone exactly when either, not even Kurt. She certainly wouldn't have told Puck, and Finn hadn't heard others gossiping about it or anything that might've been it.

"Come on, Finn," Puck said, grinning. "You knew I knew, I gave you that big high-five when I saw the bite mark on your neck in the locker room after football practice."

"_That_'s what that was for? I just thought we'd had a good scrimmage."

"Uh, no. And all that week the two of you couldn't keep your hands off each other and you haven't stopped since, I'm not blind. And it's gotta be the first night, I saw her looking at herself in the mirror backstage before the second show, and she was kinda checking to see if she looked different. Girls do that when they've done it."

"_Did_ she look different?"

"I think she did to herself."

Finn smiled. "To me too." _Even more beautiful_, he thought.

"Yeah, well, that's 'cause she's yours," Puck commented. He raised his beer to salute Finn. "Mazel Tov."

"You're not going to spread this around, are you?" Finn asked, concerned.

"Hey, that was ages ago, why worry if I'll do it now?"

"I'd just rather... she didn't think I told you," Finn said. "Since I didn't."

"You're so pussy-whipped," Puck sniggered. "You make such a big deal about all this love crap."

"Crap, huh?" Finn shook his head. "If you haven't been there you'd never understand. There's nothing else like it. I never want to lose this feeling."

Puck frowned at Finn. "Whatever works for you, dude," he said. "But it's not my kind of thing at all, what I go for is a lot simpler. Insert tab A into slot B, not much different from wood shop except it feels a hell of a lot better."

Finn narrowed his eyes at Puck's simplistic description. "And then what do you get?"

"To walk away, dude."

"What do you get in wood shop," Finn corrected.

Puck shrugged. "I build stuff. Good quality stuff too, when I get all the parts lined up right and it stays together." Finn smirked at him until the penny dropped, and Puck rolled his eyes. "Yeah, real clever Hudson."

"Hey, you picked the analogy."

"And where does Rachel keep your balls, again?" Puck flung back.

_In her mouth_, Finn thought, trying and failing to restrain his grin, disguising his bark of laughter as a cough as Puck looked at him inquisitively, his interest piqued. "Um, I can't say as I have any problem with her taking care of things," Finn spluttered out. "Not that it's your business."

"Oh really?" Puck responded slowly, meeting his friend's eyes with a feral grin. He paused, apparently searching for a non-sexual way to put things, though that wasn't really his forte. "So I suppose if you happened to see 'Rachel Hudson' written out over and over again in that fancy script of hers, complete with gold star, you wouldn't run a mile?"

Finn shrugged. "Can't say I would, no," he replied. "I'm in love with her, just in case you haven't noticed."

"Me and the rest of the world. Maybe even the Martians."

"Well I don't see any point in screwing it up _again_ by trying to act like I'm not. I suck at hiding things anyway." Finn leaned back on the counter. "I'd be pretty surprised if she wrote all that out though." He caught Puck's puzzled look. "That doesn't really go with her dreams – she's going to be a big Broadway star, and they don't do that sort of thing."

* * *

><p>Passing by in the hall, Rachel had heard Finn's voice asking Puck not to 'spread this around' – something to do with her, she was sure – and had stopped to listen, happy to hear the love for her clear in Finn's voice. But what she heard now tore at her heart.<p>

_Oh, Finn. **Finn.**_

Tears came to Rachel's eyes as she realized what she'd done right after Nationals: she'd flat-out told her sensitive, wonderful, vital, amazing man that she was going to walk away just as soon as she could, and, despite all they'd been doing and building together, how close they'd become to each other, she'd never taken it back. Sure, she told him she loved him and desired him, but she'd never told him that she meant it for keeps. Never told him that she was outgrowing her old dreams too, or at least finding her new dreams enlarged by the inclusion of a certain 6'3" drummer. She'd been a child before, what had she known about true dreams for the future?

And he was just taking it, accepting her leaving him as an inevitable rejection, even while being open that he wanted it to last. Rachel felt her heart wrench at the pain she'd been putting him through, at how she who was supposed to be supporting him and helping him find his dreams had so carelessly reinforced his self-perceived worthlessness. And he'd been hiding it so well. How could she have been so awful to him? She choked back a sob and hurried away.

* * *

><p>* "Talk Dirty to Me", as performed and written by Poison (slightly modified).<br>** "Welcome to the Black Parade", as performed and written by My Chemical Romance.


	19. The Turn of the Year

_A/N: this story is winding down, but I'm working on an epilogue as a present for all of you. - HLine_

* * *

><p>Rachel calmed herself down once she reached the bathroom. <em>I have to tell him now,<em> she told herself. _Bad enough that I didn't before._ But she could hardly march into the kitchen where Finn was talking to Puck and declare that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. _Could I? No._ Still, she had to correct his misapprehension as soon as she could, and she didn't want it to wait until later.

She shook some of the tension out of her shoulders, visualizing it flowing down her arms and dripping from her fingers. A little more relaxed, she went back down the hall and went into the side room where they were planning to sleep, leaving the door open, hoping that he'd find her there once he was finished talking to Puck.

But five... ten... fifteen minutes passed, and still no sign of Finn. Finally she heard his voice mixed in with several others; he was back in the living room talking to Sam and Artie, just aimless discussion about music, it seemed. Easier to interrupt this than his discussion with Puck, she figured, and she was too keyed up to wait any longer.

She went into the living room, caught his eye, and gave him a bright smile. "Could I talk to you for a few minutes, please, Finn?"

"Ah, sure thing, Rach," Finn said, showing surprise. "Back in a few, guys." He excused himself and followed her down the hall, back to the small side room. "What's up?"

"I've just been thinking," she said hesitantly, a little unsure how to begin. "New Year's Eve, I suppose, remembering the year." She sat on the couch and motioned for him to join her.

"It's been an interesting year," Finn said, sitting right next to her and taking her hand. Even that simple gesture brought tears to her eyes at how sweet and supportive he was. "Okay, now you're upset, what are you remembering? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, I did," she said, sniffling. She caught the shock in his eyes and quickly corrected herself. "Not _did_ something, no. Said something that's turned out to be so wrong."

"And now you're scaring me." Finn's eyes bored into hers. She cringed a little before the intensity of his gaze, but steeled herself to keep her eyes up. He mustn't think she's going to tell him something bad.

"In the library, after Nationals..."

"When we got back together...?" Finn's voice was definitely on edge, she had to get this out as soon as she could.

"When I said I was going to New York and never coming back." She pulled at his hand, bringing it to her chest where she held it. "I didn't mean it. Well at the time I did, mostly, about Lima, but – I didn't mean it about you, not really. Not ever. And I definitely don't mean that now."

Finn was puzzled. "You don't want to go to New York anymore?"

"Yes I do," she replied. "But about not coming back – I've never seen myself as wanting to come back to Lima. But I'd always come back to _you_, if you couldn't come too. I love you so much Finn. Just then, I was so scared that I was going to have to choose, you or New York, and I couldn't lose my dream of going to New York, so that's why I said what I did. And we were only just back together, but I never thought about those words again, we've come so far now together and I didn't mean to let you go on thinking that I still meant that, that I was just going to leave you for New York and you wouldn't have your place in my life -" It was Rachel's turn this time to have her verbal torrent cut off by her lover's lips on hers. Finn kissed her intensely, distracting her from her thoughts, loosening her emotional knot inside.

"I didn't think that," he said quietly, his face still close to hers.

"But I didn't even tell you -" Rachel broke off, biting her bottom lip.

"I _know_, Rachel." Finn held her chin to hold her eyes steady on his, and softly rubbed her lip until she loosed it from her teeth. "Yeah, you didn't say anything, but everything you've done, how you are, how you tell me and show me how much you love me – I know."

His strength and support eased her. She leaned into him, enjoying the feel of his body against hers, of the slow circles he was drawing on her back. "Well I need to tell you now," Rachel said. She looked up at him intently. "I don't see my future without you," she declared. "Not a good future anyway." She kissed him softly to punctuate her statement.

Finn returned her kiss, their lips caressing tenderly. "Same here," he said when they paused. "Definitely same here." He put an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in, coaxing her to rise up and sit on his knee. "But how could you think I would?" He sounded hurt.

"I didn't," Rachel answered tentatively. He sounded like she'd offended him, but she couldn't think how.

Finn looked hurt too, as he met her eyes. "Still, you didn't think I'd _fight for you_? I've been doing that every day since the library. Hell, the other night I _told_ you I couldn't give you up in a million years. And I mean it."

"Oh." Yes, she'd hurt him by doubting him, even considering that he could let her slip away from him. She hadn't meant to; she hadn't even been thinking. "I – this was sudden," she tried to explain. "I hadn't been thinking about what I said back then, and when I remembered I – I just wanted to let you know as soon as I could, how I felt now. I don't doubt you, really I don't, and if -" she took a deep breath, trying to calm her 'crazy' so he'd be able to understand her. She looked sincerely at him. "Not if. It has, I know how I feel about all that has changed since what I said then, and I know that's because of you, because of how we feel about each other, how close we are. I just wasn't thinking."

Finn breathed, the set of his jaw starting to ease, the hurt fading from his face. "Okay. But what brought this on? It's kinda out of the blue, for something you forgot about."

"It's just.." Rachel swallowed. "I heard you talking to Puck."

Finn thought for a moment. "That?" he blurted. Then he laughed, his tension suddenly vanishing. "Oh, Rachel. You scared us both so badly, because of _that_?" He drew her closer, but was forestalled by her hand on his chest.

"Oh what?" Rachel asked. "I mean, you told him that you were sure I wouldn't ever want to marry you, that Broadway would stand in the way."

"No, I didn't," Finn replied, sighing, a bit amused. "Though, yeah, I was kind of yanking Puck's chain in that direction, he was being an ass, like he was trying to convince me I shouldn't be happy the way I am or something like that, even though I know he doesn't mean it that way." He paused. "Look, I'll tell you what I see in our future, okay?" Rachel nodded, and he gave her an encouraging smile. "You're on a stage on Broadway, shining like the star you are and always have been. That's you. And in the front row, there's a tall slightly awkward guy who doesn't see the rest of the show at all, since he can't take his eyes off you and never could. That's me. And outside on the marquee," Finn continued, pulling her into him, stroking her back, "in big large letters, it says RACHEL BERRY, because it was always going to, and because while I may not know anything much about big Broadway stars other than _mine_," he explained a bit possessively, starting to caress the side of her breast, "I do know they don't change their names."

"Oh," Rachel breathed, feeling a little foolish, but oh so happy. She smiled at him, then leaned in to kiss him passionately, lacing her fingers into his hair. He held her tightly to him as he returned her passion in equal measure, their tongues entwining, one hand continuing his massage of her breast. After a while they paused, moaning a little, catching their breath. "I could if you wanted me to," she whispered.

"Could what?" he asked.

"Change my name," Rachel said. "If it was important to you." She flinched a little as she said it, knowing that she was accelerating things by saying this. But after what she'd done, first by not telling him she couldn't leave him and then by suggesting even for a moment that he would just let her go, he deserved to know how serious she really was about him. She'd have to trust that he wouldn't be alarmed by its full extent.

Her momentary worry vanished as she felt his lips again, Finn's mouth crashing on hers for another kiss, shorter but no less passionate. "It's not," he stated. "Thanks for the offer but I know what's on that marquee in your dreams." They made out a while longer, enjoying their physical and emotional connection, with Rachel still nestled on Finn's knee.

"So, um, you know now that you really shouldn't take the stuff Puck and I say to each other at face value, right?" Finn asked tentatively, his voice a bit hoarse. "Did you, uh, overhear anything else?"

"Oh, nothing much," Rachel murmured. "Nothing important." She hummed a little. "Though apparently you don't have any problem with what I do with your balls."

Finn tilted his head away so he could look at her, and caught her wicked smile. He grinned. "That's an understatement, baby," he emphasized.

"Good." Rachel smirked. "Because, considering my condition for the next few days," she went on, one of her hands trailing down his chest to rest on the bulge in his jeans, "I have some ideas."

"You don't need to do that," Finn said, swallowing in reaction to the pressure of her hand. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it's incredible Rach, but I can wait a few days, you don't have to serve my needs or whatever. I may be addicted to you but I'm not a total horndog."

"I like doing those things with you, and I love how you react," Rachel insisted softly, blushing. "I told you, I like hearing you scream my name."

"Good, 'cause Kurt's threatening to record it if he keeps hearing it," Finn joked ruefully. "Make sure you get it from him if that happens."

Rachel laughed. "How does he keep hearing it?" she asked with a chuckle.

"Let's just say I have some pretty intense fantasies," Finn admitted.

"Starring me?"

"Hey, you're my star."

* * *

><p>Close to midnight found them all back in the living room, the numbers dwindled, with the other Cheerios having long since gone off to another party being hosted by one of the other guys on the football team. None of the Glee crowd was interested in that.<p>

"Almost midnight," Brittany said, turning on the television so they could see the ball drop in Times Square. She clapped her hands together excitedly. "Remember when we were there? That seems like it was just last year."

"That's because it was, Brit," Santana said kindly, coming up behind her and putting her arm around her girlfriend. "Just last May."

"Oh yes," Brittany commented. She turned to look at the others. "Ten minutes! So does everyone have someone to kiss?" She looked at the couples all paired up, but her face fell when she saw the singles: Sam, Quinn, Artie, Puck, and Rory.

Quinn glanced over at Sam and at Puck, exes both, and shook her head. "How about you and me, Artie?" she said, walking over to where Artie sat in his wheelchair.

Artie smiled. "Sure thing, Quinn. I'll have you know I'm a very good kisser."

Sam smiled ruefully. "Well there's only one girl I want to kiss and she's not here," he stated. "At least she's off with her family and not at the football party with Shane." He looked over at Puck. "Unless you're up for it, bro?" he teased.

"Uh..." Puck's eyes bugged.

"Not serious, man."

"I'm sure we girls can spread a few kisses around," Tina said. "Or at least I can, okay Mike?"

"Sure." Mike pulled Tina close. "Once we're done. They might have to wait a while." Tina giggled.

"Well in Ireland you're supposed to kiss everybody," Rory said. "All the girls, I mean." He approached Brittany and Santana where they stood close together. "So if you girls will do me the honor, when you're finished with each other, I think one on each cheek would keep me from being cursed with a lonely year." He touched first one of his cheeks, then the other.

"Yeah, all right, Irish," Santana agreed with a small smile. "Just keep your hands off my girl."

"But do you have a first-footer coming, Brittany?" Rory asked.

"A what?" Brittany looked around at the others, but it seemed everyone else was confused too.

"A first-footer. The first person to enter your home once it chimes midnight can bring good luck to ya, if it's the right sort of person."

"Well we want good luck, what's the right sort of person?" Brittany asked.

"It should be a young man, tall, dark-haired, and handsome," he said. At the word 'tall' all eyes turned to Finn, who was immediately self-conscious. Rory grinned. "Looks like you're nominated, Finn Hudson."

"Close enough," Santana jibed with a smile.

"All right, sure," Finn agreed. "So what do I have to do?"

"Ya go outside until it rings midnight, and then come in," Rory explained.

"Sounds easy," Finn grinned.

Rachel tightened her grip on his hand, pulling him closer to her. "But we have to kiss, to ensure our happiness for the year," she objected. "Finn?"

Finn looked down at Rachel pouting, over at Rory, then back at Rachel again. "Meet me at the door," he said. He grinned again. "That way nobody else has to watch us again anyway. Because a New Year's kiss needs to be _extra special_." This solved the problem, and Rachel beamed happily.

"Three minutes!" Brittany called out, bouncing.

"Come on," Finn said to Rachel, taking her into the front hall. He unlocked the door and stepped outside, letting the screen door close between them. He exhaled and saw his breath freeze. "It's getting cold."

"I'll warm you up," Rachel smiled coquettishly. Finn smiled back at her and they waited to hear the New Year arrive.

They heard the count being called out from the living room: Ten... Nine... Eight... Seven... Six... Five... Four...

Finn put his hand on the handle of the outer door, ready to enter, his eyes fixed on Rachel's.

Three... Two.. One...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

In a second Finn was back inside, enfolding Rachel in his arms, dipping her slightly back as his mouth crashed onto hers in a big openmouthed kiss. His tongue entered her mouth and stroked hers, feeling hers working against his in return. Her hand cupped his head, her fingers threaded in his hair as they continued to kiss passionately, sneaking tiny breaths when they could, giving themselves completely over to how their mouths felt communing together.

They vaguely heard chortles behind them as they broke off the kiss and clung breathlessly to each other, Finn raising Rachel from the dip.

"Well someone's certainly having good luck," they heard Rory say.

"That would be me, since you're bringing it," Rachel whispered to Finn. "Happy New Year, Finn."

"Happy New Year, Rach," Finn murmured in return.

* * *

><p>Later that night they all sat in a circle in the living room, talking. Rachel was finally getting a chance to talk to Kurt, congratulating him on his performance, while Finn sat on the far side, exchanging occasional glances with her as he caught up with Mike.<p>

Brittany brought up the subject of New Year's Resolutions; hers was to help Lord Tubbington quit his pack-a-day cigarette habit, or at least get him to switch back to menthols. She looked expectantly around at the others for theirs.

"Well I can tell you mine," Quinn said, "though please don't be offended by how it sounds."

"Well that's a crappy way to start off," Puck commented.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Just bear with me." She took a deep breath. "My resolution is to make myself happy, by myself." She smiled encouragingly around at the group, who mostly just sat there.

"Like – without us?" Brittany pouted.

"That's why I warned you it can sound a little bad. But it's not. I just mean that, in the past, my happiness was more dependent on other people, and I'm going to try to work against that."

"There's nothing wrong with being happy with others, Quinn," Rachel said, exchanging a smile with Finn across the circle and bumping shoulders with Kurt next to her.

"There is the way I've had it," Quinn answered. "This doesn't mean I'm not happy being friends with all of you, I am, and I'm so glad that you Troubletones girls came back." She smiled at Brittany until she got a smile in return. "But in the past I've needed people to do things or be things for me to make me happy, filling roles, and it hasn't worked out. We're graduating this year, and I'll be going off to college, so it's a good time for my plans to just be about what _I'm_ going to do." She beamed at them. "And what I'm going to do is be phenomenal." There were general encouraging noises at this.

"That's great, Quinn," Sam said, taking their attention. "For me it's not so much a resolution as a wish." He exhaled, sharply; everyone knew what he was about to say, or at least the direction, but he still needed to say it. "When I left here last August I left something behind, something I regretted losing the whole time I was away. I want to get back everything that I had to walk away from, but there's one most important thing missing." He reddened. "It's easier to say this because she's not here." He breathed and smiled. "I'm still in love with Mercedes. I wouldn't have left her except that I had no choice. I know now I should have tried to stay connected to her, even when I left, but... I don't have a time machine so all I can do is try to go forward. Being back and seeing her again, it just brought it all back, even stronger than before. And I know that she's with Shane, and he could cripple me with an arm or something, but -" he shrugged. "I don't care. I'm going to get my lady back. Evans and Jones, together again."

"I've told ya, Sam, it's basically the same name anyway," Rory said. "Evans and Jones have belonged together for hundreds of years. So here's to the Welsh, all the way, excellent singers all, and best of luck to ya." Those with drinks raised them to Sam, supporting Rory's wish.

"As for me," Rory said, lowering his cup, "I've been thinking about food."

Kurt looked directly at Finn. "You're a bad influence."

"Hey," Finn protested. "Nothing to do with me."

"Much as I love the stew, potatoes, and soda bread of home, all the starch does lead to a certain... something," Rory explained, tapping his gut with a wry smile. "And trying to keep up with you lot when dancing brings a bit of that to mind. So I'm going to try more of the alternatives, lay off the starch, and get more fit." He grinned, accepting the well-wishes of the rest of the group.

"Well, I am also planning to make some improvements to my diet," Rachel stated, giving her head a sharp and dramatic nod.

"That's ridiculous, Rachel, you're already vegan," Quinn said.

"Yeah, how much less could you eat?" Puck jibed.

Finn was shocked. Rachel was in perfect shape, she didn't need any changes.

"Actually I resolve to loosen up my diet a little," Rachel elaborated.

"Well you do need to loosen up," Santana commented. "I wouldn't say it's your diet, though."

"Santana!" Finn gave the Latina a pointed look, then turned back to Rachel. "You're amazing the way you are, Rach. Trust me." He met her eyes, concerned but trying to look encouraging.

"All the same, I've recently become aware that an occasional bit of animal-derived protein isn't a bad thing," she said. "As long as I can obtain it in a direct and completely cruelty-free manner. Single-sourced, of course."

Finn coughed as her words registered, trying not to choke. _Is she saying what that sounds like?_ He looked at her again and saw a slight smile directed his way. _Holy..._ "I think I need some water, sorry," he excused himself, getting up. He saw her smirk at him as he turned to hurry off to the bathroom. _This isn't cruelty-free, Rach. You're killing me here._

"Of course it's not my only resolution, I can't just think of myself. Indeed I'm resolving to think less about myself and more about my friends, my teammates. I know I can be quite selfish, it's a bad habit, but you guys really mean a lot to me..."

_That sounds good too,_ Finn thought as he closed the bathroom door. _But just... wow._ He ran the tap for a minute to get it really cold, and splashed water on his face and wrists to try to cool down. _This is a dream, right?_ He pinched himself. _Guess not. Still unbelievable. Yes she's trying to wind me up, and enjoying that nobody else had a clue what she's talking about, but..._ Finn's mind reeled at the very thought of Rachel, the sweet beautiful sexy driven girl he adored, actually making it a New Year's Resolution to suck him off. _Occasional, yeah okay, fine. But from that smirk, she meant it that way all right._

Finn delayed himself further in the bathroom, not really wanting to have to say his own resolution aloud. This year for him was make-or-break, he needed to figure out what he was going to do next and start building a real life with Rachel. It wasn't something that he could boil down to a few pithy phrases, and he didn't want to blunder around and feel like a fool about it. However, when he finally returned to the living room, all eyes were on him.

"Just you now, bro," Puck said as Finn sat back down. "What's your goal?"

_Shit._ "My resolution..." and at that moment he put aside all the questions about his future, career, any of that, and saw the one thing that all his dreams now needed to have. "Don't be stupid," he said, eliciting laughter from many of his friends. Not Rachel, though, who gazed at him, her eyes shining. He looked right back at her. "Don't screw up the best thing I could ever hope to have." He swallowed. "That's more of a lifelong goal than a New Year's Resolution." He could see tears in Rachel's eyes as she looked back at him, her smile beaming. The others had fallen quiet as the two of them looked at each other. "Ready to call it a night?" he asked her.

She nodded. "Good night, everybody," she said, getting up. "Happy New Year." They walked out of the room hand-in-hand, fingers interlaced.

* * *

><p>Rachel returned to the side room from washing up and changing for bed, to see that Finn had quickly changed in her absence and prepared the room for them, the table moved aside, mattresses and pillows all laid out and a quilt ready.<p>

Finn took in her outfit, a thin tank top and a pair of her yoga pants, and the corner of his mouth turned up in appreciation. "Are you sure you won't be cold?" he asked, walking over to her.

"Well I expect to be wrapped in something large and warm," she replied pertly.

"Uh, the quilt's not that thick."

Rachel laughed at his obliviousness, and put her hand on his arm. "Not the quilt." Finn grinned and leaned down for a kiss.

"Hold on," he said, breaking away from her. "I'd better put the sign out." He grabbed the cardboard from the table where he'd left it.

"Sign?"

"Yeah, apparently our PDA is getting to be a bit much for some of the others." He shrugged. "You'd think they'd be used to it by now." He opened the door a crack to slide the sign onto the door handle, then closed it again. "Santana gave me a warning sign to use. I'm thinking we should just have it put onto shirts or something though."

Rachel giggled. "Well at least we won't be disturbed." She put her back back into a corner of the room, and noticed the stack of DVDs on the end table nearby. "What are these?" She picked the top one up, reading the label, in Finn's writing: New Directions Performances 2009-2011. "Where did you get the recordings for this?" she asked him, curious.

"Uh, from Ms. Corcoran," Finn said, eyeing her carefully.

"_Shelby?_" Rachel raised her eyebrows, stunned. "When did this happen?"

"Just a few days ago. I didn't want to tell you until I could see how you took it."

Rachel thought for a moment, not thrilled to not have known, but realizing that she would rather he was there when she dealt with those issues. "Okay, I understand," she said after a while. "How did you even know she had them?"

"I didn't, she passed them on. She said she made a copy for us from hers before she packed it up, and wanted us – all of us, the club – to have them."

"When did you even talk to her?"

"A few days ago, um, Wednesday? Right after we talked around lunch. She said she'd tried to drop them off with your dads but you were all out of town. So she basically staked out the Lima Bean to find one of the rest of us, and found me."

"At the Lima Bean?" Rachel was puzzled, as it wasn't somewhere Finn usually went. The whole thing was bizarre.

"I went with Kurt to meet Blaine so I could talk them into singing with the band. They left when you called, and I guess she was lying in wait to talk to me, she grabbed me just before I left."

"That must have been very strange for you."

"_Oh yes_," Finn said. "Very strange. And awkward." He exhaled. "They are really good recordings though, high-quality video and audio. She got them from the hosts of each of the competitions."

"Researching the competition," Rachel said, nodding, pouting a little.

"No." Finn stroked Rachel's arm. "Maybe some of it, from two years ago, that's how she found you in the first place. But there's last year too, and she wasn't anywhere near here or involved with show choirs at the time. She said she collected them because of you."

"Oh." Rachel bit her lip, Finn watching her with concern.

"Just so you know," he said after a while, "I also kind of... told her off."

"You _what_?"

"About how she's acted towards you. Everything, basically, she said something about how important having the recordings of you was to her and I just saw red, sorry. It just really pisses me off, how she's treated you, I don't see how she could do a lot of the things she's done or allow others to treat you the way they have, and nobody else seems to have told her off about it, so... I did."

"What – what did she do?" Rachel got herself back under control. "I mean, how did she react?"

"Well she didn't know about all of it, or had put it all together, so she ended up kind of... agreeing with me. Then I left, the whole thing was really strange." He exhaled. "I'm sorry if I shouldn't have, I didn't really think about it, I didn't expect to see her or talk to her at all. All I could think about was how much she's hurt you, and people don't get to hurt you. Not if I can help it."

Rachel looked up at him, the worry obvious on his face. She hugged him tightly, pressing her face to his chest. "Thank you for that," she said, looking up at him again. "For everything."

Finn smiled a little. "Just doing my job, I guess. Better than I did before."

Rachel sighed and snuggled into him. "I love you."

"I love you. I always have, watching our old performances brought a lot of memories back."

"Good ones?"

"Mostly. I skipped last year's Sectionals, I didn't want to remember that time, or who those people were. I watched the Regionals after that, though, and – wow. Your song was even more amazing than I remembered." Rachel sniffled a little. "Hey, don't cry, Rach. You were so wonderful, and I was being such an idiot, I know I get confused sometimes but I was extra _extra_ confused back then and I didn't listen to myself the way I should have. But I have an answer for you now."

Rachel leaned back to look up at him. "An answer? to what?"

"To your song, the question it asks? The answer, is: _this._"

"I don't understand."

"_This_ is how many times it takes to get it right. However many times we're on now. 'Cause us, now – this is right. We're getting it right. And in your song, you took too much on yourself, we both had to get it right together and that's why it took so long." He smiled sheepishly. "I can be a little slow, sorry."

Rachel beamed up at him. "We're here now, that's what matters."

"And we're staying here."

"I don't know... I was thinking things are getting even better," she replied.

He grinned. "That too. But no more steps back. I may be slow but I've got the direction figured out."

Rachel thought for a moment, then giggled. "Being slow isn't always a bad thing," she said flirtatiously. "I can think of some things you do that are particularly wonderful when you're slow..." She went up onto her toes, leaning up to him, stroking her hand slowly around the back of his neck to pull him down to her. Their lips met, pressing against each other, and she slowly pulled at his lower lip, sucking it for a while as their passion smouldered, then parted her lips to allow his tongue to slide into her mouth. He caressed her tongue, her teeth, carefully exploring every tiny bit of her mouth, until finally they broke apart, gasping, dazed. Even after all that they'd done together, they were still rocked by the heightened sensation.

Finn groaned, trying to keep some self-control. "Slow is amazing," he gasped out finally. "But if this gets any more amazing we're in trouble 'cause we can't do anything about it right now."

"Sorry," Rachel whispered, blushing.

He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly against his groin so she could feel how much he wanted her, while still trying to calm himself down so that he wouldn't blow. "Never apologize for turning me on."

She smiled. "Okay."

"It's not like you can help it anyway, you turn me on just by being you."

Rachel looked up at him again, bringing her hand up to touch his face this time, her eyes full of love. "So do you."

"You don't have to apologize for that either."

"I wasn't going to." They clung together, their hearts slowing back down, getting their passions back under control. "We should go to sleep," she said eventually. "I've so missed sleeping in your arms."

"That's what they're for." Finn lay down on the mattresses, pulling the large quilt half over him, his arms spread to allow Rachel to nestle into him. "Really," he mused seriously as she sank down to join him. "I feel like my arms are too long, like they just sort of hang down, unless you're here and I can wrap them around you." Rachel sighed happily as he did just that, pulling the quilt over them both and enfolding her in his arms. "Then I know that they're just the right length because they're Rachel-sized."

"'Rachel-sized'?" she giggled sleepily, enjoying how she felt, wrapped in his arms and warmth and love. "You're so sappy, Finn."

"Sappy, huh?" Finn chuckled a little, thinking about the song Puck had labeled that. "_So caught up in you, little girl, that I never want to get myself free,_"(*) he sang softly into her ear. "You like that I'm sappy about you." He nuzzled her hair.

"Mmm-hmm, I do. I especially like that you don't care that you're sappy about me. And I am too, about you, you'd better hold on tight because I feel like I'm melting and I wouldn't want to slide away by accident."

"I won't let you go. And you're just the right size so that this feels perfect."

"It does," she murmured, then turned her head carefully back for a kiss. "This is perfect. Goodnight, my love."

"It already is," he whispered in her ear. "It's a great night." He kissed her earlobe as they snuggled together, then fell asleep.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, most of the others were still in the living room, winding down.<p>

"So, think we'll hear any loud noises from those two?" Puck asked, grinning.

"Pretty sure they're actually going to sleep," Sam said. "Finn looked tired."

"Good thing we don't have a real band, the sort that plays for hours," Puck said. "Dude needs to work out more."

"Rachel will probably take care of that," Sam commented, then grinned as he saw Puck's raised eyebrows and smirk. "Getting him to exercise, go running or something like that. You have a dirty mind, dude."

"You have blond hair, Sam," Brittany said.

"Uh, yeah, and?" Sam was puzzled.

"We're saying obvious things about each other, right?" Brittany looked confused but smiled a little. They laughed.

"Doesn't take Puck's mind to see that they have a lot going on," Blaine commented.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Way too much. And way too public."

"You said she needed to loosen up," Blaine stated. "Seems pretty loose to me."

"Okay, they're in love and happy, ooh, good for them," Santana half-mocked. "But would it kill them to tone it down in public? I can keep my slim figure without needing to upchuck, there's nothing wrong with _my_ diet."

"This is them toning it down, Santana," Kurt said pointedly. "Trust me."

"Let 'em," Puck said. "No reason I should have a problem with anyone's sex life as long as it doesn't get in the way of mine." He shrugged. "They've earned it, despite the best efforts of most of us to screw them up, so give it a rest and worry about your own shit for a change instead of messing with someone else."

"Are they using the sign?" Brittany asked.

"Sign?" Blaine inquired.

"Santana made them a warning sign."

"Yes, they're using the sign, Brit," Santana commented.

"That's good."

"It's useful, I really don't need to walk in on them, so thank you," Quinn said. "I've let go of thinking of Finn as mine, and I meant it with my resolution, that I'm going to look to myself to make me happy, but it's still hard to see how happy he is with her when he wasn't with me."

"Well she does _try_ to make him happy," Puck needled.

"And he's a lot more himself," Kurt put in.

"Seriously, Quinn," Sam said. "I've gone out with you too, remember? And have you ever really been open to the sort of relationship that they have?"

"Codependent?" Santana sniped.

"No more than you and Brittany are," Kurt defended. "Probably less."

Quinn frowned, considering Sam's words. "No, I haven't," she finally admitted. "Finn did what I wanted when we were together, except for him still talking to _her_, but it wasn't anything like that, that wasn't what I was interested in." She sighed. "And apparently it is what he wants. I suppose we never did suit, not who we really are. It's not like I really wanted _him_."

"Well I certainly didn't," Santana said loftily. "So yes, she can have him."

Puck snorted. "Not that any of us have any say in that, you have _seen them._ Shit, _girls_, and here I thought I pushed him around sometimes. Now I actually agree with him, all this is none of our business."

"At least she talks a lot less when they're together," Quinn commented.

"That's something, I guess," Santana said, relenting. "Okay, minding my own shit, commencing. Just don't get used to it."

* * *

><p>* "Caught Up In You", as performed by 38 Special, written by Don Barnes, Jeff Carlisi and Jim Peterik.<p> 


	20. Songbird

Rachel woke up the next morning and felt a twinge from her abdomen as another cramp set in. _Still? There are many wonderful things about womanhood but this is definitely not one of them._ She moved a little, trying to ease it, and felt Finn's arm tighten around her, his hand sliding up to her breasts. He hummed in her ear, still mostly asleep, and started to fondle her.

Rachel frowned at first, but soon stopped, relaxing. _Oh... that's really good._ She sighed, and Finn woke up a little more and realized what he was doing.

"Sorry, felt you move," Finn mumbled, moving his hand back to her waist.

"Just a muscle twinge," Rachel explained. "But keep going, that helps."

"Pretty sure that's not where the muscle is," Finn commented sleepily. But he moved his hand back to her breast. "Don't have to ask me twice though."

"No it isn't, but..._oh, that's __**good**_," she moaned softly. "I feel too good now to be in pain."

"Glad I could help," Finn murmured amorously. Rachel giggled and turned her head back for a kiss. She was never going to get enough of him like this, so much himself as he slowly woke up: part goofy adorable boy, part strong passionate man, all loving, all _Finn_, all hers. She just wished she could do more about it right then. Yet she was also happy that they could still be together like this; once they'd started making love the intensity of their physical connection had been rather overwhelming, so it was good to know they hadn't lost the ability to just cuddle, kiss and fondle, being together and expressing their love for each other intimately without needing to reach ecstasy. Well, not every time. They had been apart and would have to wait a little longer to be fully together again, but she did want to touch Finn, taste him, feel him react to her and hear him moan her name in that wonderful voice of his. Maybe later.

Rachel sighed happily and nestled a bit further back, glorying in the feel of his strong arms around her as his body cradled hers.

Then he shifted a little, and she felt the hardness of his morning erection pressing into her backside. Maybe later could be sooner, if they got up and found somewhere else where they could be alone. As he shifted again his arms loosened a little, and she started to pull away, planning to get up.

Finn lazily pulled her back to him. "What's the hurry, babe?" he murmured, a hum building in the back of his throat. He buried his face in her hair.

"We should get up, have breakfast, go home..."

"I am home," his muffled words came as his arms tightened around her.

"That's sweet, Finn," Rachel said, smiling. "But my dads don't expect me back until late afternoon, we could go back to your place, mess around a little..."

"Mmmm." Finn's lips caressed her neck. "There's people there."

"There's people here too."

"And what about, your, um..."

"You'll just have to stay away from that." She sighed as Finn kissed her pulse point. "But there's a lot of other things we can do, if you can be quiet -"

"Quiet as mice," he whispered, blowing gently on her neck.

"Good." She loosened his arms and reluctantly pulled away, then stood and looked down at him. "Because now that it's the New Year I need to get started," she stated.

Finn stretched and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, suddenly more awake. "Um, get started on what?" He sat up.

Rachel gave him a dazzling smile. "My New Year's Resolution, of course." She bent down to give him a quick peck on the lips, then danced back to evade his arms as he grabbed for her again. "I'll try not to take too long getting dressed." She grabbed her overnight bag and held it to her chest as she nipped out the door.

The door closed behind her, and Finn groaned, collapsing back down. _Cruelty-free, my ass._ She was going to be the death of him someday. Still, Rachel wasn't a cock-tease, if she said it then she meant to do it, so at least he'd die happy.

Finn blinked hard and fully stretched out, feeling himself become more alert. He slowly got to his feet and started packing up the bedding.

He'd packed all his stuff away and returned the room mostly to how he remembered it by the time Rachel returned, washed and groomed, wearing a sweater and skirt.

"Bathroom's all yours," Rachel said, putting her bag down and walking over to where he sat on the couch. She tousled his hair affectionately. "You should get dressed so we can get going."

"Uh, I can't run off quickly, Rach," Finn told her. "I have to tear down my drum kit and that's not fast. Plus Kurt's taking it in the back of the Nav so it doesn't get cold, so we're staying as long as he does."

Rachel sighed. "Oh well, it wouldn't hurt us to spend more time with our friends. Do you want help with your drums?"

"It'd take longer to show you how."

"Longer this time," she commented. "And I've seen you working on them sometimes, there's not much space for you and I'm much smaller."

Finn was surprised, but pleased that she was taking an interest and trying to help him. "What, are you volunteering to be my roadie?" he teased her.

"That way I can keep the groupies away." Rachel grinned down at him, standing between his legs as he sat on the couch.

"I've got all I ever need right here," he replied, putting his arms around her waist. "Puck can have the groupies."

"That seems unkind."

"Why? He'd go for them all right, he's not picky."

"Unkind to _them_. Send them to Artie, he'd appreciate them more."

"Sure." He cupped her face, leaning up slowly to kiss her. "But if you start helping me with my drums it's never going to be fast, I'll be too distracted."

She kissed him back, her arms on his shoulders. "Well I like distracting you... but I can see your point. Still, you should get dressed," Rachel said. "Not that I don't like you like this, but the others are already up, and Brittany's saying she's going to get Lord Tubbington to clean the living room, so I'm sure you want to get your drums packed up before that happens."

"She can't be serious. Even for Brittany."

"I think she is. Santana says she's seen it before, Brittany puts a garbage bag on the floor and Lord Tubbington walks across the tables, pushing used cups into it. Anyway, I'm sure you don't want to miss breakfast."

"No." But neither of them moved at first, and when Rachel tried to step back she found Finn's arms and legs kept her there.

"Finn... I need to eat too. There's fruit."

Finn relented and freed her. "There anything else?"

"There's pancakes," Rachel replied, moving to the door. "Brittany had a lot of batter made up and Blaine's cooking them."

"What kind?"

"Does it matter?" she teased. "Brittany has a lot of different things to sprinkle on top. She's trying bacon and caramel." Rachel shuddered.

"Actually that sounds good," Finn commented, standing up and grabbing his bag. He leaned down to give Rachel a kiss as her passed her at the door. "See you in a bit."

* * *

><p>Brittany wasn't the only one experimenting with pancake additions, and the Pierces' large kitchen was soon full of Glee clubbers having a relaxed breakfast, distributed around the cooking island, at the table, and near the bay window that looked out onto the back yard, the snow sparkling in the morning sun.<p>

A long musical warble drew their attention to the corner of the window, and they soon found its source: a small roundish bird, brown body with a red head and front, sitting on the Pierces' bird feeder. It chirped a little more, then started eating.

"A songbird on New Year's morn," Rory intoned in his brogue, smiling. "That's a very good omen. Especially for singers like us."

"Hmph," Puck responded. "Not if it means the Warblers beat us at Regionals."

"It's our omen, Puck," Quinn chided. "Not theirs."

"Yeah," Santana said with a toss of her head. "And we took the best of the Warblers anyway, I brought Ladyface back and he seduced Bobby Bow-Tie over as well."

Kurt and Blaine, arms linked, smiled at her oblique compliment and strange characterization. Blaine raised his eyebrows at Kurt. "Seduced me over, did you?" he asked his boyfriend, trying not to laugh. "What are you, some sort of show-choir male Mata Hari?"

_No_, Kurt mouthed at Blaine, shaking his head and starting to giggle. "I'd be much better dressed than her, for one thing," he said.

"Of course you'd be better dressed," Blaine teased. "But I bet you say that to all the guys you recruit, just deny deny deny." He laughed at Kurt's quizzical face, and pulled him in for a kiss while the others laughed at their interplay. They pulled apart a little, both smiling now. "Anyway if that's an omen for a good year for these two ex-Warblers, I'll take it."

"It's not a warbler." The voice came quietly from in front of the window, much to the others' surprise. Brittany. "Warblers eat insects and have long narrow beaks." She gestured at the window, oblivious to the shock that her specialized information produced in her friends. "This bird has a short fat beak so it can eat seeds." She looked at the others. "What?" The others stared, first at her, then at each other.

"So what kind of bird is it, Brit?" Santana asked after a moment.

"Yeah, who does this auspicious omen really belong to?" asked Blaine.

Brittany smiled, happy to have her knowledge taken seriously. "It's a finch," she stated.

"Oh yeah?" They looked back to Finn grinning as he stood with his arm around Rachel's shoulders. "We'll take that," he said.

Sam peered out the window at the bird again. "Well some of the head feathers do look a bit fluffed up in the middle," he teased, looking from the bird back to Finn.

The others laughed at this good-humored crack about Finn's hair, Finn himself joining in. He looked affectionately down at Rachel, who smiled up at him. "Finchel forever," he said, leaning down for a kiss. "Should be a great year."

* * *

><p><em>AN: This is the end of the main story. But since you're such fabulous readers and reviewers, I'm writing you an extra smutty and fluffy epilogue. Love, Henrietta Line._


	21. Epilogue: Beat My Drum

_My dear faithful reviewers, thank you so much for all of your feedback and appreciation._

_This epilogue is especially for you.  
><em>

_Yours in Finchel, Henrietta Line.  
><em>

* * *

><p><em>A few days later...<em>

"Hi, babe." Finn leaned against the lockers to smile down at Rachel, who was exchanging books at hers. "Your Thursday voice lesson doesn't start again until next week, right?"

"That's right," Rachel replied, giving him a bright smile. "I'm impressed you keep track of these things, Finn."

"Hey, I care about what you're doing," Finn protested. "And I remember them. I'm just not always that good at pulling them out of my brain when something comes up." He leaned his head down and lowered his voice. "Anyway, Kurt just told me he and Blaine are doing some important shopping after school, so I have the house to myself."

"Hmm. He hasn't mentioned that to me, what's he going for?"

"I -" Finn searched his brain and found nothing, even though he was sure Kurt had said. "No idea," he offered lamely. "Going, um somewhere, to get something. Once I heard he wouldn't be back until after five I didn't pay attention."

"After five? Must be quite the trip." Rachel was still moving things around in her locker, but he could hear the smile in her voice.

"Guess so."

"So since you have the house to yourself, and we finish early today, what were you planning to do?" She looked up at him coyly, but not in a way that seemed intended to fool him at all.

Finn shrugged, faking nonchalance himself. "I thought I'd start with a little drum practice," he said. "You're welcome to come watch."

Rachel beamed up at him, a very genuine smile, their eyes meeting. "I'd like that very much."

Finn closed the last few inches to kiss her. "So would I."

* * *

><p>Finn was a bit distracted for the rest of the school day, thinking about their plans for after school. He wanted to make this really fantastic for Rachel, everything she'd been wanting when she'd watched him play at the party. Especially after what she'd done the next day before he'd taken her home; they'd been parked behind the strip mall making out heatedly, and she'd opened his belt and fly to set him loose, rubbed him fully erect with her hands and then gone down on him. He'd managed just the right amount of protesting (enough so he felt she really wanted to do it, not so much that she would have thought he didn't want it and stopped), and the feel of her hot mouth on his dick was beyond heavenly. And as she'd smirked about it afterwards, there was no mess to clean up because all of his cum had gone straight down her throat (though she didn't describe it with that kind of detail). Rachel's comments about the practicality of some of the hottest things they did were strangely extra sexy, maybe because they were so typically Rachel in every way but the topic.<p>

Oh God, he was getting hard remembering it. And he was making his own private resolution to ensure that he kept himself really clean down there, because much as she was by some miracle into sucking him off, he knew that'd change if she thought there was a chance she'd pick something up that could affect her voice. He wouldn't want that either, if she got an infection he'd feel guilty for every second it lasted or had consequences. Much better to play with clean equipment.

Thinking about Rachel also meant thinking about what Rachel was wearing, not in a fashion kind of way but in a looks-cute-and-how-accessible-is-it kind of way. Today that was a dark loose sleeveless dress with a belt, and it should be really easy to get off. She'd worn something similar yesterday, Finn remembered, and realized this was probably deliberate. And knee socks, not the tights she'd worn at the beginning of the week, like she was signalling to him that she was ready again. _She probably was._ He gave a private smirk at this as he sat in the back of Spanish class, enjoying the thought that when she'd decided what to wear today she'd been hoping he'd be taking it off her later. _Maybe something interesting under there too. Aside from her. Wonder if she's getting hot thinking about what she's wearing and why like I am._

After his last class he quickly grabbed his books and almost ran to her locker, leaning back against the one next to hers (the locker of some guy that was apparently too intimidated by Finn to do anything other than wait out of sight, Finn figured, since he rarely saw the guy). He grinned down at her. "Need a ride, babe?"

"I was hoping you could give me one," Rachel replied, giving him her best dazzling smile. "At least one," she continued more quietly, flicking her eyes down and then up again quickly.

_Yeah, that too_, Finn thought, his grin getting wider. _And yes, she's been thinking about it. _Hell, he'd been thinking about it ever since he'd left her place the morning after Christmas with his privates still intact. "Whatever you need, Rach, I'm all yours," he answered, trying a little this-means-more-than-people-think out himself, and was rewarded by another smile as she closed her locker and took his hand.

On the drive back to Finn's they talked about their day, mostly Rachel chattering about hers. Every so often they would look at each other in a sidelong smile, their eyes having an entirely different conversation.

Once at the Hudson-Hummel place, Finn quickly confirmed that the house was indeed empty, and then escorted Rachel directly up to his room, coat, shoes, bookbag, and all. He put her things by his desk and kissed her neck as he took her coat in a deliberate echo of Christmas. He moved the chairs, jamming one under the doorknob to prevent intrusion and centering the other in front of the drums. "Your viewing chair," he said, patting the seat. Rachel sat down in it with a touch of deliberate ceremony; he gave her a soft kiss and started to move towards his drums.

"Ah, Finn?" Rachel called him back, and he turned back to face her. "You're overdressed," she stated. Finn raised his eyebrow inquisitively. "Your hoodie and jeans, you're going to be far too hot when you play, and not in the right way. I don't want you passing out on me."

"Yeah, okay, I don't usually play in this," he admitted, peeling off his hoodie.

"Keep going," Rachel said with a smile.

"Excuse me? Do you want me to play drums for you or strip?"

Rachel looked like she was considering it. "Both?" she said with a cute little pout. "Seriously, Finn, I've seen concert footage of some of these bands whose songs you play, and the drummer often wears much less than the guitarists do. Some of the guitarists are in long sleeves, I suppose they're not moving around as much so they have to stay warm even under the lights. But I've seen how much you move, drumming, and it just stands to reason you'd need to wear a lot less so you don't overheat."

"Stands to reason, huh?" Finn smiled at Rachel's supposedly logical approach.

"Yes. Why, there's one British band where the drummer hardly wears anything at all sometimes, just a pair of shorts. I wouldn't want you to do that in public, but here where we're alone..." she let herself trail off, smiling flirtatiously.

Finn stared at her. He had no idea why she'd been watching Def Leppard, but this sounded like it, and it had certainly been giving her ideas. Hopefully she would never dig up footage of the song he was about to play, because sometimes the whole band was half-naked and it might turn her off. On the other hand, Celine Dion had once sung it so... well that was his defense if she had any issue later with the lyrics or the band. He walked slowly towards her. "You just want to get my clothes off," he growled softly, starting to grin at her attempted practical justification.

"Not true. Not 'just'. But I thought we were going to do that anyway." She looked innocent, but it wasn't fooling him and he was quite sure it wasn't supposed to.

He closed the last of the distance to her, and he lowered his head to whisper in her ear. "I'm not taking any more of my clothes off," he purred. "But you can." He raised his head again so he could meet her eyes. "Since you're so good at stealing my shirts anyway." A moment later he saw the understanding come into her eyes, that he'd meant she could take _his_ clothes off, not her own (he'd rather strip her later himself, and he knew it turned her on too).

Rachel smiled in what he could only consider to be a predatory way, bringing her hands up and rubbing them slowly down his chest, over his tee down until she reached his belt buckle. He closed his eyes, feeling her hands deliberately working over him, opening his belt and fly, letting his jeans fall. His breath shortened, and he concentrated hard on the mailman, cooling himself down so he'd actually be able to keep going with the plan instead of taking a shortcut right to the bed. He heard her giggle as he stepped out of his jeans.

"Plaid, Finn?" she laughed, sliding her hands back up, under his shirt this time.

"Pretty sure they were meant as a joke, but they fit fine," he said, referring to the boxers he was wearing. His breath caught as he felt her peel his shirt up, and he raised his arms out of the way. "At least until you started doing _that_," he groaned out, loving the feel of her hands on his bare skin. _Save it, Hudson, it's worth it,_ he thought, concentrating on keeping control. He finished removing his shirt, since there was no way she'd be able to get it over his upraised arms, and he threw it vaguely towards the closet. Finally he opened his eyes, seeing her smile up at him, feeling her hands on his chest again. He leaned down to kiss her lips lightly, his mouth open just enough to taste her without pressing any further.

Finn forced himself to step away from Rachel and walk over to his drums. He settled himself down on the stool, seeing Rachel take her place on the chair out of the corner of his eye, unclasping the belt of her dress as she made herself comfortable. "A little warmup first," he commented, taking his sticks and starting to play a few patterns. His nervousness at what he'd been planning and at his state of undress disappeared as he got into the familiar movements, feeling and hearing the drums react, and he started picking up the pace, working in more patterns, playing fills, feeling himself flow into his drumming. He kept his head down and his focus on the drums, though, not wanting to distract himself with Rachel and her reactions at this stage. _Just like at the party,_ he reminded himself. _Get into it __then__ look at her._ Of course at the party he hadn't realized what effect he was having on her, so it was easier, but at least this drum part wasn't anywhere near as complicated as some of those had been. And he'd probably only sing along a little.

His warmup done, Finn took a deep breath. He flicked his eyes briefly over to Rachel, sitting expectantly on her chair, telling her: "I love you." Then he pressed 'play' on the iPod he'd set up by his stool, with the drum-less track cued up. He got his arms into position, his eyes closed, letting the opening guitar riff wash over him, the underlying rhythm sinking in.

The repeat died away and Finn hit the drums with all he had, the second guitar riff starting at his second beat. He felt so energized playing this piece, the sticks an extension of him, the drums responsive and hard, surrounding himself with the music and the beats he made for it.

Soon the guitar faded a bit and the vocals came in. Finn kept the rhythm steady and mouthed along to a few, specific ones that made him think of Rachel and of their Christmas night. (*)

_She was a fast machine  
>She kept her motor clean<br>**She was the best damn woman that I ever seen  
><strong>She had the sightless eyes  
>Tellin' me no lies<br>Knockin' me out with those American thighs  
>Takin' more than her share<br>Had me fighting for air  
><strong>She told me to come but I was already there<br>**'Cause the walls start shaking  
>The earth was quakin'<br>My mind was achin'  
>And we were makin' it and you -<em>

_**Shook me all night long  
>Yeah you shook me all night long<strong>_

At the chorus Finn finally raised his head to look fully at Rachel. Her eyes met his with a look so intense he almost forgot to breathe, the only thing saving his drumming being his five plus years of practice on the song. His limbs moved automatically to keep the drums synchronized as the music sang through him, feeling so alive, his energy reaching out and finding her on the other side. His gaze took in her dilated eyes, her yearning expression, her taut nipples visible even through her dress, her barely coiled demeanor, as if she was moments away from launching herself towards him. Her shoulders moved to the music, feeling the beats he was playing, in sync with him despite being across the room. They'd always communicated best by singing together, their voices intertwining; while this wasn't the same, it was electric and primal in a different way, deeper even, still both carried by the same music.

_Workin' double time  
>On the seduction line<em>

_**She was one of a kind, she's just mine all mine**_

Finn stared even more intensely at Rachel for that line, growling those words out along with the music.

_Wanted no applause  
>Just another course<br>**Made a meal out of me, and come back for more**_

At this point he couldn't help but smirk a little, starting to grin as his memories of Christmas night merged further into the song. He kept singing, a bit more lightly, as he played.

_Had to cool me down  
>To take another round<br>Now I'm back in the ring to take another swing  
>'Cause the walls were shaking<br>The earth was quakin'  
>My mind was achin'<br>And we were makin' it and you -_

Rachel smirked internally at the lyrics, knowing exactly why Finn had said this song was private, for them. Naturally she wouldn't have wanted to be treated _just_ as a sex object, but that was never the issue, her voice and mind weren't in question so also being a sex object for the man she loved was a fabulous extra. Besides, the woman being sung to was a _powerful_ sex object, the singer clearly helpless to resist her. And as Finn played, putting himself into the rhythm and mouthing along with the words, she felt the charisma radiating off him, but all focused and directed straight at her. Of course he was her boyfriend and she knew he loved and wanted her. But feeling that, having all that life and energy and want directed at her, from the one she'd always wanted herself – that did something to her, made her burn deep inside for him. Like he was calling out with all his considerable power, 'I need you and everything you do to me', and every fiber of her being replied 'I'm all yours'.

_Shook me all night long  
><strong>Yeah you shook me all night long<br>**Knocked me out and then you  
>Shook me all night long<br>Then you were shakin' and you  
>Shook me all night long<br>Yeah you shook me  
>Well, you took me<em>

The guitar solo came in, and Finn exhaled hard and kept drumming, adding the variations and crashes that belonged.

_You really took me and you  
>Shook me all night long<br>Oh you shook me all night long  
>Yeah yeah you<br>Shook me all night long  
>Ya really took me and you<br>Shook me all night long_

By the end of it Rachel was breathing heavily, with the fire in her eyes answering his as they stared at each other.

_**Yeah you shook me, yeah you shook me  
><strong>All night long_

He finished the last drum strike and stopped, his lungs heaving, panting more from the want of her than the drumming. He stored his sticks by reflex, and they stared at each other in silence for a moment.

Who moved first – they didn't know and it didn't matter. Rachel rose and stepped forward, Finn slid out from behind his drums, and they crashed together, Rachel leaping into his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist. Finn staggered a little, but soon was supporting her weight as she kissed him passionately, their tongues tangling. After a few moments he carried her the few steps over to the end of his bed and lowered her back to her feet as they continued to kiss and touch each other. He loved the feel of her hands moving hard over his bare back and shoulders, glad that he'd given in to her demand that he go shirtless.

Finn broke off, gasping for breath, looking into her eyes. He stroked firmly down from her shoulders, feeling her strong supple body, his jaw clenching to provide some self-control for the deep desire he had for her. Then he moved his arms up, lifting her shift dress. Without the belt it slid up and off her easily. As he let it fall and looked at her his jaw fell open, and he felt himself get even harder at the sight of her. He paused and stepped back, he didn't know quite how, just to rake his eyes over her and use his last remaining working brain cells to commit the sight to memory in the few seconds that he could make himself wait.

His Rachel. Luxurious dark hair tousled from his pulling off her dress, eyes wide and dilated with her need for him, her luscious lips swollen from his kisses and parted invitingly. Nipples dark and taut, showing through a sheer white bra, her breasts heaving with her breath. Matching bikini panties darkening with her wetness. And yes, those knee socks that he'd always found to be a turn-on. Those were going to stay on her.

He moved to her; he had to have her, now, and he knew she had to have him too. She lay back on his bed as he crawled on top of her. He was already so hard, feeling very constricted by his boxers, so he stripped them off and rolled a condom on. He could see her chest heave as she panted with want for him, and he concentrated on cooling himself down so he wouldn't explode right then and there.

And before he did anything else – Finn slid down Rachel's body to her thighs, parted them a little more as he positioned himself, and started kissing upwards. God, how he wanted to taste her again, especially knowing how wet she was. His fingers deftly shifted her panties out of the way, and he gave her a quick strong lick, from her juicy folds to her clit, hearing her mewling cry, feeling her writhe. She was really close already, worked up to a frenzy from watching him play and anticipating what was to come. Finn grinned, glancing up at the dazed expression on her face, moving aside for a moment as he dragged her panties down and off.

Then his mouth was back on her, his hands cupping her ass and lifting her up to him as her legs, knee socks and all, clenched around his shoulders. Her hand tightened in his hair as she loudly moaned his name, spurring him on more than any cheering crowd ever could. He shifted, supporting her with one forearm, his other hand stretched out to stroke her body and fondle her breasts. He flicked a nipple while probing her clit with his tongue and was rewarded with a sudden gasp, her thighs clenching as shocks ran through her. Her continued soft moans egged him on, her musical voice making small cries of pure pleasure.

Finn was rock-hard, needing her, but she still hadn't come yet. He gave her breast a last stroke and slid his hand back down her body to rub her, finally dipping his fingers inside her. The drum rhythm still lingered in his hands, and he flicked his fingers against her walls as he gave her cleft his best tongue kiss, using his lips on her outer folds and his tongue tip on her throbbing nerves.

"Finn, Finn..." Rachel's moans were peaking, and with one last flick of his tongue she shuddered, a high pure sound coming from her throat as she spasmed violently and her juices gushed. Finn took a split second to exult in triumph before licking her again, enjoying more of her taste as he felt her shake around his shoulders. Then he crawled back up, rubbing his body against hers, stopping at her breasts to slip off her bra and suck on her nipples, enjoying the wonder of all that was Rachel. _Mine all mine._ This paradise of her body and heart and soul, only ever his.

"Finn..." Rachel gasped, tumbled from her high but being pushed up again by his continued attentions.

"What do you want, baby?" Finn whispered urgently. "Tell me, I'm all yours." Though how he'd stopped from blowing already, he didn't know, he'd been so focused on her.

"F-fill me..." she breathed. "I need you Finn." Her hands clutched at him, one in his hair and one at his shoulders, desperately trying to pull him up with her near-nerveless arms.

He looked at her face, so filled with pleasure and desire, and he made a sudden lunge up, moving into place above her and then thrusting into her still-quivering depths. _Oh God, Rach,_ he thought as he felt her clench around him. He groaned and started to pump his hips, feeling the fire take over him, that burning need.

"More," Rachel panted. "I want all of you."

Finn lowered his head and pushed deeper, harder, but it wasn't quite working. He withdrew quickly and her legs came up, back onto his shoulders, and he braced himself on his forearms and thrust in again. _Oh, Rach, so perfect, baby... _He heard Rachel gasp as he buried himself completely in her, deeper than ever before, and as his head turned towards her he found her mouth hungrily attacking his, her arms pulling him close as they rocked together. Silky legs, soft sweet breasts, those luscious lips, and her tight hot depths enveloping him... Finn moaned as he pumped into her, deeper, harder, egged on by her moans mixing with his, loud but barely heard through the pounding of his blood.

He was close. So was she. Her hips shifted, grinding her groin into him as he thrust, both of them working up friction, until finally Rachel screamed his name again and clenched at his neck. Her walls shook around him and he finally blew, giving a last few pumps as his whole body seemed to explode. Finally he collapsed on top of her, both of them shaking.

Finn rolled aside, letting Rachel's legs fall back down, and he lay there, shuddering from the force of his orgasm. In a few moments he scrabbled an arm enough to pull her over into him, and they held each other loosely, both still quivering.

"Love you," he breathed.

"I love you too," she answered, still moaning a little. "That – I – _oh._"

The corner of Finn's mouth curved up at her incoherence. It never failed to impact him, how the most focused person he'd ever met could be sent into a nerveless fog by what he did to her, by how their selves came together. And riding into it with her was better than anything he'd ever thought possible. He slowly stroked her bare shoulder, his eyes still closed, enjoying the ride back down as euphoria flowed through his body. They'd been really high, he'd held out a long time.

After a while he opened his eyes a crack to look at Rachel, feeling proud at the look of relaxed pleasure on her face, almost as if she'd taken some sort of special drug. But the drug was _him_, he'd made her so worked up and then gotten her off, twice, all while finding his own pleasure in her. "Wow, that really did get you going," he commented, a grin plastered on his face.

"Mmm... you're _so good_, Finn. Skilled." Rachel sighed.

Finn shrugged. "Been practicing that for years," he said idly.

"What?" Rachel's eyes flew open and she blinked slowly, initial shock turning to amusement. "Not the drums, love," she giggled lightly, then sighed again. "Though yes that was great, it definitely primed everything, but – oh, the things you do to me, _mmmm..._ you make me feel so incredible."

Finn grinned sheepishly. "Now that I make up as I go along." He thought a little. "Mostly, anyway. I do fantasize about you a _lot_, so I probably sort of practice in my head. Not that, though, um, what we were just doing." _But I will now._ "That was just..."

"Us."

"Yeah."

Rachel buried her head in his shoulder. "We're really amazing."

"You sound surprised," Finn teased.

"I'm not, it's just..." she caught his tone after a moment and pouted briefly. "I'm in awe, I think. Of how I feel when I'm with you. Of how you make me feel, and how you can get me to put aside all the high-strung, controlling parts of me, let myself go and just feel all that."

Finn gently caressed her side. "I love how I can make you lose control."

She turned her face in to kiss his neck. "I love that you make me want to lose control. And not just because it feels so good physically, but because I'm with you."

Finn stroked the side of her breast. "Same here," he said softly.

"And I think we sounded really good too... not that I could really think about it but it felt so, oh, like we were in perfect harmony. I think I might have noticed if we weren't."

"Now that we have practiced," Finn grinned. "That's how we got started. And yeah, how we sound, it's part of it, like a... total sensory experience of you and me. Together."

"Yes." Rachel stretched her legs out, then brought one of her knees up and reached for her knee sock, only to find Finn's hand on hers, stilling it.

"Leave them on," Finn said. "Please?"

Rachel eyed him speculatively. "You like them, huh?" she asked, smiling flirtatiously.

"Hey, I always have." Finn coaxed her back to snuggle into his side. "First I thought they were cute, then I got to know you and they were adorable, once we kissed I started finding them sexy, along with the rest of you, and now..."

"Now?"

"Now I'm going to remember what it feels like to have them wrapped around me."

Rachel giggled. "How are you ever going to get through a school day, Finn?" she asked, shaking her head in mirth.

Finn laughed. "I don't know," he admitted. "I don't know how I manage it _now_. I don't always." He moved his head closer to hers. "When you wear a tight skirt I think about your ass, which is really hot by the way, when you wear looser ones like your dresses I sometimes think about lifting them up and you sitting on my lap..."

"Well that is one of their advantages," Rachel offered. He stared at her. "Don't be so surprised, I think about it too," she said. "Like those times in your truck." She gave him a light kiss. "So now I think I'll feel extra sexy when I wear these socks."

"Please do. Yeah it's a distraction, but it's totally worth it. And there really isn't anything you can wear that's not going to have me think about you like this, it's just how you are." He stroked her breast lightly.

"Mmmm..." Rachel snuggled closer to Finn.

"You could ease up a bit on the diet comments though, _please_, at least around others. One of these days someone's going to realize I always react to it and figure out what you're talking about." He raised his eyebrow to her. "And I can't not react, it makes me hard in, like, half a second."

Rachel giggled. "Okay. At least around our friends." She stroked his chest. "You do know I react the same way, right?" she said. "To things about you, I mean. Like your hands." She picked up his hand, the one that wasn't draped around her, and slowly interlaced their fingers. "I see you working with your hands, playing the drums or sometimes even at the shop, and I think about your fingers, how deft and strong they are..." she bent her head to kiss his fingertips. "... how wonderful your hands make me feel..." She leaned up to kiss his mouth, her lips lightly teasing his. "Even just how they feel on my waist or holding mine," she breathed. "Every touch from you is special."

He tightened his arm around her, rolling her further onto him and splaying his hand on her back. "Well we'd better stick with the drums, because if we try anything in the shop Burt will kill me."

"Noted. And I don't have any greasemonkey fantasies, just _you_ fantasies, and the real you is always much better." She stroked his chest, rubbing her hand all the way down to just below his navel, Finn's indrawn breath growling at the sensation.

"God, Rach, I love your hands too, how they feel on me," he groaned.

"My strong hands," she teased.

"Yes," he breathed. "So small but so strong and beautiful, like you." Rachel sighed and laughed a little. "what's funny?"

"Did you know what the Cheerios used to call me? Back in freshman and sophomore years?"

"No, I don't," Finn said, catching her hand in his, stroking it with his thumb. "It's really cowardly, I know, but guys usually stay out of girl politics. Except the worst of the bullies who go after everyone."

"Well aside from 'dwarf', which is still in use by Santana, they used to call me 'Manhands'," Rachel said. "That and 'RuPaul', implying I was a transvestite. Because my hands are strong." She swallowed, the long-standing hurt still evident. "And my face, I suppose. Strong features. Quinn and Santana were the worst, back then, before they knew me, and even a while after."

Finn smiled. "Joke's on them," he said softly, sinking into her eyes. "Because I love your hands. And your face – you're so beautiful, and you get more beautiful every day." He flushed, breathing deeply. "Maybe it was hard for the girl you were to pull that off, way back, but the woman you're becoming... God, Rach, you're so gorgeous."

"Like the ugly duckling becoming a swan?" Rachel sighed and laid her cheek on Finn's bare chest.

"I never understood that story when I was a kid," Finn responded, thinking, stroking her hair. "We went on a trip to the Cleveland zoo, and I always thought the baby swans were much cuter than the baby ducks. I guess you could think they were ugly if you expected them to be a duck. But they're not, they're something else, something better. Like you." He curled his head up to kiss the top of her head. "So much better than anything you'd expect. And," he continued, stroking up her back, "they grow up into something that has a beautiful white neck..." He suddenly rolled them over so he could look down at her, and leaned down to kiss his favorite spot on her neck, the one that always made her moan as she did now.

"_Finn..._"

"So beautiful, so loving and passionate..." Finn murmured, pulling up to look at her, his knee sliding between hers. "I love you so much, Rachel. You'd make my heart break if I couldn't have you."

Rachel gripped his shoulders as she looked up at him, taking all that in for a few moments. "We can't let that happen," she said quietly, emotion filling her voice. "What would I do without you?"

Finn grinned briefly. "A lot, babe," he responded. "You're a star, no matter what. But..." he paused. "I'd like to think I give you something you couldn't get anywhere else."

"You do. Your love, of course, but it's more than love, it's everything. Describing everything you give to me would just sell it short, it's so special there aren't any words for it, at least not ones that aren't your name."

"Not even long words?"

"No words at all. Nobody's coined the right ones yet because they've never had this, or if they have they've never dared to describe it either. But we don't have to know what to call it to know that it's real." She leaned her head up to his for a slow passionate kiss, fondling his neck and shoulders with her hands, and their ardor built.

Finn hummed in the back of his throat, grinding into her, hardening again. He reached to his nightstand for another condom.

"Uh-uh. Wait." Rachel started to slide out from under him, plucking the condom from his hand. "I believe we said something about me having _my_ way with you."

Finn smirked lustily and let her turn him over onto his back. "Well I did offer you a ride."

Rachel rubbed down his broad chest again, starting below his throat and moving slowly, then reaching lower to his hips, tracing his enticing V with her fingers, and finally sliding one hand into the hair at his crotch while gripping his length with the other. Her eyes possessively locked on his face. She tightened her grip and saw his need build in his eyes as his hips bucked and a groan escaped his lips. "You're so much man, Finn," she breathed. "And _mine all mine._" Because yes, Finn was sweet, goofy, adorable and loving... and also strong, virile, and completely hot. Especially _right now_, naked and surrendering himself to her touch when she knew he could take her in an instant. Which was also hot. He was the only one she'd ever wanted, and nobody else could ever make her feel the way he did, so loved, so full of desire, and above all so complete.

He looked up at her, his eyes half-lidded, his breathing already hard. "Yes," he gasped. "Yours."

She smiled, saying "I love you," then bent her head down. Her lips circled the tip of his cock, sucking a little, her tongue rubbing over his head and tasting his saltiness until he was rock-hard. But she needed to feel him inside her again, so she pulled back and rolled the condom onto him. _It still seems impossible that he fits in me_, she thought with a delicious shiver. _But oh how he does._ Finn's eyes were still open in slits, his mouth forming a loose 'O' as he felt what she was doing to him. "Close your eyes," she murmured, which naturally caused him to open them more fully to look at her. She looked seriously at him. "Trust me," she said, then repeated, "close your eyes."

Once Finn's eyes were closed she climbed on top of him, straddling his lower chest, feeling his smooth muscles against her thighs. She leaned forward, her weight on her forearms on either side of his head, not that much differently from how he'd been with her. "I love you," she whispered in his ear, enjoying his scent and how his hair curved around behind his ear, then lightly rubbed her lips over his. She felt his breath catch. She leaned further forward, stretching higher over Finn, until she rubbed her nipple over his lips. He moaned and pursed his lips around it, sucking it into his mouth, rubbing it with the tip of his tongue. Shocks coursed through her from the nipple down to her loins, warming her core, setting her juices flowing. She moaned, and when he paused in reaction she pulled sideways, replacing one nipple with the other. He redoubled his efforts and she started to writhe. "Oh Finn." She moaned again. "Your hands," she murmured, reaching down to move one of his arms, guiding it in the direction she wanted. She smiled in appreciation as she felt his hands fondling her ass, his fingers sliding between her buttocks to finger her. He turned his head and let her nipple slide out of his mouth.

"Is this what you think about, when you look at my hands," Finn whispered, continuing to slide his fingers around her wet folds.

"Yes..." Rachel gasped out. "_Finn._"

"Good to know..."

Rachel slid back down so she could kiss him, involuntarily impaling herself on Finn's fingers as she did so and giving a sudden moan, which only got louder as he scissored his fingers inside her. "Oh God, Finn, Finn..." His thumb rubbed her clit. She rocked with the sensation, finally managing to also slip her tongue out to tease at his mouth between moans. Then she put her hand onto his wrist, first guiding his hand out of her and then reaching further to touch his erect cock. Finn clearly got the idea and let her move lower on him, keeping himself steady as she slid onto him with a deep moan.

Finn groaned, thrusting further in. "Oh baby, you feel so good, so warm and tight... Rachel, baby..."

Rachel pressed her body down onto his, her legs still straddling him, enjoying the feeling of all her skin against his with nothing separating them. She bent her body back in a sort of cobra pose, pressing hard down onto his groin, his penis sliding deeper into her. "Open your eyes now," she whispered, and he half-opened them to look at her gorgeous torso arching up from his. She could feel him harden still further inside her and twitch. His hands gripped her buttocks, and they looked at each other, breathing, rocking a bit as Rachel clenched her internal muscles. Finn's breath came in gasps. Then she leaned back down, burying her head into his shoulder, and started grinding her hips, enjoying the soaring feeling of all that friction, pushing down onto Finn as he thrust up into her. She writhed on top of him, taut nipples rubbing haphazardly on his chest, hips swiveling a little.

His hands gripped her lower back tightly, pulling her down onto him as he continued to pump upwards into her.

She felt Finn start to shake, then damp it down. He was very close – and she gasped as his fingers found her clit and pressed, Finn holding himself in as he pushed her to come. She moaned wildly, losing herself in this amazing man who loved her so and made her feel so incredibly good, his fingers teasing her, his lips hot on her neck, his aroused musk in every indrawn breath, his hard member filling her again and again...

"_**Finn!**_" She arched back and screamed his name as ecstasy slammed into her, his cry coming too before hers had a chance to fade. She collapsed onto his shuddering chest, the movement beneath her adding to her own exquisite tumult.

They lay together like that for a while in post-orgasmic bliss.

"Oh yeah, I _really_ like your way," Finn murmured.

Rachel sighed wordlessly, still euphoric, not even considering trying to talk this time. She carefully slid off of Finn's now spent penis, letting him clean himself off a little, then snuggled into his side. She gave his bare chest a light kiss and pillowed her cheek on it. They cuddled together, bodies sated, hearts in sync, and dozed off.

They were awakened by a knock at the door. "Finn?" Kurt called out. "Are you in?"

"Hey Kurt," Finn said with a yawn, stroking Rachel's hair and still-naked back.

The doorknob rattled, but the door didn't open due to the chair Finn had shoved under the knob. "Your door is jammed," Kurt complained.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Finn responded. "I didn't say come in."

"What are you doing?" Kurt sounded puzzled.

"Not much right now." Finn's arm around Rachel tightened, and she smiled and lightly kissed his neck.

"So why the door?"

"I don't want your next words to be 'oh my eyes, my eyes'."

"_Oh._" Pause. "Sorry, I was preoccupied. Ah, _Rachel_?"

"Yes Kurt?" Rachel answered, giggling a little.

"Are you staying for dinner? I'm cooking."

Finn and Rachel exchanged smiles. "Sure," Rachel called out. "Thank you, Kurt."

"Dad and Carole should both be home soon, so dinner at six. I'll give you a ten minute warning so you can get dressed."

"Thanks, bro."

"Um, Finn?"

"Yeah?"

"Didn't Santana give you a sign? You could use it."

Finn chuckled. "Maybe next time." He checked the clock, glad to see that they still had some time to enjoy being together. He kissed Rachel's forehead as she snuggled into his shoulder again, both relaxing into each other, both completely happy.

**END**

* * *

><p>* "You Shook Me All Night Long", as performed by ACDC, written by Angus Young, Malcolm Young, and Brian Johnson.


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